Mixed Tobacco The scene of alcohol and dust in the sky, this memory of my friend Suki is a road movie. She still keeps Estée Lauder's perfume Intuition, an empty bottle, which was stored for seven or eight years, and occasionally opened it when she moved. At a moment, the golden yellow liquid of the perfume dissipated like sand and dust. She wanted to think about whether she could still find the "intuition" of sweat and amber. That morning, he left the city before her and went to the train station to see him off. The perfume was sprayed on the collar of his shirt, "You remember, this is me." Like a Paris perfume commercial, the story ended in a few minutes.
Suki, who was talking about this experience, will soon become a bride in three months and is about to end the six-year love run. Although I am not planning to organize the wedding, I still seem to suffer from premarital anxiety. I always get a call from her at midnight, "I can't sleep, and work pressure has been too much lately." We all know that it is not necessarily real work. problem. Suki's fiance loves her very much. He woke up the next day and looked at the empty crumpled sheets beside the bed. He always had the illusion that his girlfriend was empathetic, and our attitude towards them was the "seven-year itch" and " Whether it’s true love or not? One night the wind blew, Suki inadvertently remembered the story of this desert and the unknown man, she suddenly threw away her cigarette butt and laughed playfully.
A few days later, I received a text message from Suki: "I am on the train, asking for leave. I want to go on my honeymoon early, alone." I was surprised and suddenly felt that I was a little bit happy.
[A perfect affair is an unfinished love]
Flaubert said that if a man never wakes up on a strange bed, a face he will never see again; if he never separates the brothel at dawn, he is physically out of a complete dislike of life. And when he thought of jumping into the river from the bridge, he was missing something important that he longed for. What is this important thing? Flaubert is a straightforward person, although sexual repression is what made Flaubert want to jump off the bridge, because it was in the Victorian fairy tale era. However, his words can still resonate with us: if we haven't let ourselves fall, we may never understand what integrity is. If we have not allowed ourselves to take risks, we may never know where we are going.
That important thing may be passion, it may be self, it may be a piece of our heart. It will not appear peacefully, it needs a little storm, a little sense of humor, and a little relaxation. Maybe, Suki is looking for it, this feeling is gone.
When it comes to "Aventure", as described by Flaubert, for a long time in the past, this is a proposition of a man nature. In contrast, men are more willing to face each other with a positive attitude. For "Aventure", women are much shy. If a man has frequent affairs, we will say that he is romantic, if a woman has frequent affairs, we will think that she is "not serious", right? How long have these different standards of shackles been put on?
Of course, some people are always refreshing our view of "women". Duras, who can have four or five boyfriends at the same time, and forty or fifty personality partners, can get together with the whole world, and then grow old with confidence. . On the spiritual level, her significance as a woman who breaks male hegemony is no less than the significance brought by her talent. A person who dares to live like that, talent is only the product of her extraordinary courage. She is so old and devastated by life, you can still fall in love with her, why? Because she does not refuse love.
"If a woman only has sex with a man in her life, it is because she doesn't like sex. But one love story is more important and meaningful than going to bed forty-five times," she said. At this point, you can't think that she is sloppy, because in her opinion, love is extremely serious. Those women who only have sex with one man all their lives may not understand what love is all about.
I don't know where Suki's itinerary has reached, but what is certain is that she is definitely not looking for old love. They didn't leave any contact information for the affair years ago. "I don't know why." Although it is romantic as if this is the final version of End of the World, the body and brain are generally blank, just floating in the sand and hugging, "I have forgotten everything." No name, no past, no mobile phone Number.
Maybe this is love? Forget about possessing, there is only infinite fusion. The time is as short as only a few minutes, which makes us feel that it is enough. One day, you meet a person who makes you so emotional that you never want to know where in the world he lives. That's it, kiss, dear, then we can say goodbye. This is the perfect affair, love that does not necessarily need to be formed.
[We have not lost the senses, but the passion to use the senses]
Can an ordinary woman live like Duras? It may be difficult. We have to admit that in a land like France, the sweet atmosphere of Epicureanism is inherently floating. In France, if you don't have the courage to live your life, don't blame why love can't find you. The Chinese have always lacked the cultivation of romantic imagination for their bodies. In contrast, the Americans' attitudes of clear rules and disciplines are more suitable for our national conditions. On the bookshelves in New York, you can always find a pile of books that tell you how to find yourself. New York female writer Sarah Bann Bresnak is one of them. She tells us amazingly that the most in history The outstanding indulgencer is not the Queen of Sheba, or Mata hari, or Marilyn Monroe, but Helen Keller, a deaf and blind woman.
Why is Helen Keller's greatest indulgence? In connection with an encounter that Sarah herself experienced, Sarah suffered a severe head injury in an accident and lost consciousness for a year and a half. When she was lying on the bed hopelessly waiting for the bewildered future, one day she suddenly smelled it. The aroma of spaghetti in the kitchen was boiling, and the senses that had disappeared for a year and a half were opened up a little bit. The ecstasy of regaining the senses made her understand Helen Keller for a moment, but it was difficult to understand that she had been narrating. The phrase that people empathize and understand: "Extend every sense to the extreme, as if tomorrow will be blind!" Helen Keller teaches people to "greedy" smell every rose and indulge in touching everything you want The objects that you touch and the lover of "life" are lingering, isn't it the highest state of indulgence? Although for people who have not lost their perceptual function, such an imagination is still far away. But Helen Keller and Sarah taught us another thing.
Perhaps we have not lost our senses, but our passion for using them. Many people are not as blind as Helen Keller, but they cannot see the true meaning of life more than any blind person. People who are terrified of life often have no way to live with an attitude of affair, and those who have lost the exploration and touch of life will often destroy a love more than time itself.
[Keep your own affair]
Last summer, I watched Julia Roberts' "Food, Prayer, and Love" with Suki. Suki's departure always reminds me of Liz in the movie. They are very similar and have a "perfect" love. Relationships, but the same choice to do a small destruction, they belong to a restless soul, uncomfortable with the answers given by others. Like Liz in the movie, does Suki plan to travel to find a real answer this time? I remember that I discussed the ending arrangement of the film with her at the time-"Obviously it is a journey for a woman to find herself, and the final answer is to give a man. Is the ending of the happy reunion a bit artificial?" Suki has always been a bit disgusted. The intention of entrusting to a man for life, but I think those scenes in the movie where Liz was alone with him left a deeper impression: a woman in her forties, who only took a dictionary, flew to a distant country Start a trip alone, sit in the square and scoop ice cream, live in a dilapidated apartment, cook yourself a fragrant breakfast, enjoy the trembling of strange syllables on your lips and tongue, walk on the street to make friends, I have no complaints. I bought the silk pajamas I like in the window, and eat a large plate of pasta like an opera, not for anyone to be sexy, just to remember to fall in love with myself all the time. Since she began to decide to embark on this journey, a change has been awakened in her body. After a long journey, the reason why she finally "has an affair" to that sweet man, I think It was because from the beginning, her whole body had begun to be filled with an atmosphere of encounter with herself.
What is self-encounter? That is probably the ability to fall in love with oneself, trust oneself, like and be willing to sway every graceful self into the air. No matter whether that person comes or not, he always welcomes himself with a serious attitude to welcome a love. Therefore, there is a kind of beauty that is floating around you. This atmosphere makes you different. You smile, you meditate, and you speak. When you stand in a crowd, there is always someone in the world who can recognize you from a distance.
I know, it's really hard, how long does it take for a person to travel to become so trusting in the "real me"? Liz in the movie wrote that decisive breakup letter to his American boyfriend in the middle of the night in Rome. I wonder if it was the result of many anxious questions and tortures?
"One day, my friend took me to the most amazing place in the world called Augustus. Augustus built it to collect the remains. The barbarians came and they destroyed everything, including Augustus. Dayton. The great Augustus, the first true emperor of Rome, how could he imagine that the whole world he knew would one day be ruined? In the Dark Ages, someone broke in and stole the emperor. In the twelfth century, this became a fortress of the Carolino family. Later it became a bullring, then a pyrotechnic warehouse, and now it is a homeless toilet, so you must always pay attention to your feet... …This is one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown around it for centuries. It is like a precious wound, like a broken heart that you will not give up, because it hurts so perfect. David, we all hope that things can stay the same and live a miserable life, because we are afraid of change and that things will become ruins. I look around here to see the chaos it goes through, these transformations, burnings, plunders... and then find I reshaped my way, and then I was relieved, maybe my life is not that bad, the world is just like this. Destruction is a gift, and destruction is the way to change. Even in this eternal city, Augu Ston made me understand that we must be prepared for the endless waves of change. We should all live better than being tied together. Don't be afraid of the harm caused by separation."
Watching Liz press Enter with tears , Suki silently wiped the corners of her eyes with a tissue, she said this paragraph touched her most. Destruction is a gift. Even though many things contain many dangers, they must be experienced.
[Kiss of the end of the world]
Aventure is a matter that requires mutual affection. If one of the two people can't spark off at all and avoids it, it can only be said to be sexual harassment rather than an affair. The achievement of an affair must include this kind of little joy that you want to devote yourself to enjoying life. It's just that sometimes, a pile of old ruins in our hearts will prevent us from welcoming this new change. Only when we truly come out of the ruins and forget it, can we be truly happy. This kind of happiness is commendable because it is short and not easy to be experienced by people. I remembered that a friend told me this way a long time ago:
"Young is wasted with closed eyes. Everyone has a good tooth. When we are old, we lose our teeth and can't eat anything, so we find that the taste of things can be imagined. So I think there are many things. I don’t want it. Because my teeth are gone, I need to discover more things that don’t need teeth. However, there are still many things in this world that never need teeth, such as kisses. "
If tomorrow is the end of the world, If there is a kiss waiting to be born. Dear you, how do you plan to spend today?
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