This is my second letter to you. If you miss me very much and are very sad, you can take it out and read it. It’s like seeing someone. In fact, I’ve always been by your side.
In the first year since my accident I was very active in rehab but only had a few fingers to move. My body is still very weak, and even a small illness can turn into pneumonia, which is not only uncomfortable for me, but also worries my family. I know that I can't move the rest of my life except above the neck and below. I used to love surfing and travel, and I can't do all of these. Not only that, but I have to be taken care of by someone who eats, drinks, and Lhasa. I wake up every day and wonder why I am still alive. I am a burden, so I think of euthanasia.
In order to make my parents less sad, I promised them to live for another six months, and I thought it was painful for me to live as usual for these six months, until I met you. A country girl with a strange dress and a bright smile broke into my life abruptly, and then broke into my heart, which became the driving force for me to wake up every day.
You are very kind. You love fashion, but because your family's economy is not good, you didn't go to college, and your fashion dream was temporarily put on hold. Although you laughed when you talked about it, I still saw the loss in your eyes. You have a boyfriend who loves to run, and you often follow him on a bike, desperately chasing after him, and you think that's love. You also have to take care of me, who is eccentric and even irritable. In the face of all kinds of difficulties in life, you are always smiling and trying to face it.
People always yearn for what they don't have. Your optimism slowly infected me and made me slowly fall in love with you.
You know I chose euthanasia six months later, so you managed to make me feel good in the world and hope I can change my mind. Take me to the racetrack, to a concert, to travel, etc. Your excuses are all bad, I see through it at a glance, but I can't bear to expose you.
Because of you and I do feel the beauty of this world again, I let go of some knots in the past and take you to my previous wedding. At the post-wedding party, you even danced with me in my wheelchair and there was a lot of chatter around, but I was so happy, I haven't laughed like this in a long time. You thought you changed my mind, but it didn't.
At the end of the tour, I said that I still stick to my original choice. You are very sad, saying that you have changed, so why am I not willing to change? Hope never met me. You left sadly. I could only call your name in a wheelchair, but I couldn't use my legs to chase you back. This is probably the most important reason.
I know I'm in love with you, but I can't reach out and hug you. I am very happy with you, watching you dance, play in the water, dive, but you must know that I can only watch you quietly for the rest of my life, but I can't participate with you. You stupid girl will definitely say that you don't mind, you just need to stay by my side quietly. But I don't allow it, you need to broaden your horizons and realize your dreams, instead of staying by my side and taking care of my food and drink.
You say love is company, I say love is a better you, I know you will understand me in the end.
After meeting you, there was light in my dark years, and the joy that was taken away by paralysis came back to me; after meeting me, you got rid of the financial pressure of your family and became independent; you have clarified your feelings; time to realize your dreams. Thank you for meeting me, it is my greatest achievement for the rest of my life that you become better, you must be good.
Dear Lu, please don't be too sad, please respect my choice. After meeting you, I thought about spending the rest of my life in your company, but when I think of you being sad, I can't take the initiative to hug You, I can't take the initiative to chase you back when you want to leave, and you have to stay by my side and take care of my daily life and food, so your dream cannot be realized at all. I only have one life, I don't want you to waste it on me like this, I can't be so selfish. So, now you understand me?
Go chase your dreams, live well, and I will continue to accompany you and love you in another way.
Will's handwriting
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