"You are a painting in the Renaissance and I am the penman outside the painting. You are the white skin gleaming in the pool. I am the coward who is cautiously probing you by the water. With love, you are the restless keys under Bach's fingers, you are the secrets in Hercules' books" "Call me by your name" comes just right. This moment is 01:05 am on December 23, 2017. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and the next night is Christmas. This reminds me of last Christmas. That day, I wrote an email to a Canadian I met while traveling. I still remember how much I had to endure those days after August. How cookie & cream flavored ice cream turns into chocolate, how the red postbox on the street opens and closes, and the postcard disappears. I know that I can never go back to those memories, but those memories are hidden deep in my heart. So, one night, one song, one picture, all my active thoughts recalled the past, and I, sitting in the study and watching a movie with tears in my eyes, became sitting on the floor of a host family with a suitcase by my hand. I cry for the parting that has not yet come. It all came to an abrupt end when it was time to end. I burst into tears while visiting the park. I ignored the friends who were walking behind me, ran away and cried aloud. At that time, all the sadness was so real, and all the emotions turned into nostalgia. "I can't even tell whether that feeling is nostalgia or miss." Everything came to an abrupt end when it was time to end. A letter, change it back and forth, hide it, try to hide it, express yourself carefully, and be careful not to say too much. I'm glad he is a kind person, at least in my opinion, everything he does is so kind, or maybe he doesn't do anything, just fits my reverie. At 12:30, the phone rang, a reply, Hello from the other side. The emoji in the email, the words of excitement and determination, each letter with a smile, the exclamation mark in the email, made me jump up and say to myself silently To: Be reckless, be brave. That beautiful memory came to an abrupt end. I think, all my expressions can't be hidden, he must have noticed everything, but he made things even more beautiful, for both of us, or just me. I recalled the events of last year again. The memo I wrote was accidentally deleted. The diary was pressed against the bottom of the box. in the book. This movie reminds me of those things again. O is such a kind person. When love came to him, he touched it. When E stumbled, he asked him if he could kiss him. E was so uncertain and so brave and lucky. In front of the World War I Memorial, he confided his heart for the first time and acted so shyly. Tentative. When O lightly kissed his lips, he straightened up and bit boldly. Even when stopped, reach out and touch O:Am I offending you? He was so humble when he had sex: Can I kiss you? Yes. Please. How crazy he was when he missed him. A peach, with the peach core removed, the peach juice ticking on the chest. How young, childish, and timid he is: "Am I sick?" A is a gentle person. He was both E's lover and taught him how to love. He teased him to eat peaches, he was frightened, trembling all over, he embraced him and rubbed his curly hair: it's alright. "I don't want you to go." Just like that, I didn't want to leave. He threw himself on him, liked him so much that he didn't know how to love him, as if to cling to his back and dissolve into his outline. He was so naive that he could only take him to drink water under the Alps and pour cold meltwater on his back. He loves like the sea and the mountains. He took his foot, massaged it, and left a light kiss. He stood in front of him, squatted down again, and after knowing his intentions, he closed the door and smiled. Later, he left. He left behind a blue shirt and a contract called "call me by your name, and I will call you by mine". In the winter, he called and he was engaged. He stood in front of the fire and wept silently. Tears were dripping drop by drop, and the firelight was reflected on his face as beautiful as a Greek sculpture. All the memories came back to him. Crying until E and O separated, he stood on the platform and watched the train leave quietly, without sobbing, just like when I hugged him for the last time, there were no tears, but I pretended to be silent. . He walked away, and he called his mother: can you come pick me up He sits on the sofa with his father: *The people and stories you meet are all wonderful. There are no obvious distinctions between right and wrong, superior and inferior, black and white, tempering and growth, lover and ex. , This will eventually be one of the thousands of fragments of your life. The final achievement of these thousands of fragments is the unique you. Each of us can only live once, so experience it when you meet it. You don't need to subjectively choose your sexual orientation, you don't need to stand in line, you don't need to agree, you don't need to make judgments, you don't need to make value judgments, you don't need to be any benchmark or banner, you can just go beyond every step and let go and fall in love with someone Travelers, go infatuated, innocently, and recklessly to fall in love with a perfect artwork. I know It HURTS SO MUCH But in the end you are your own master, what you have to do is boundless, boundless, infinite. *
Those conversations are heartwarming. I lay in bed with tears streaming down my cheeks. At these times, the friends and family around you can do the least and the most, the least helpful but the most important, but all they can do is nothing more than a sentence: I'm here. Be reckless, be brave Tired For the love, the laughter I feel up to your arms.
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