When I close my eyes, it's all the scenes of Elio sitting by the fire and crying silently, just like me now, sitting in the quant class, crying silently, and I don't even know why.
There are a lot of real moments in this movie. Like the farewell at the station. I remember when Hadrien left Beijing and returned to Paris, he cried like a child, I was very sad, but I didn't shed a single tear. He said he wanted a mushroom stuffed toy in Super Mario. I skipped half a day of class and ran to God’s will. After asking more than 20 people on the fourth floor, I finally found the mushroom, took it back to school, packed it with him, hugged and watched him Leave on the bus with other French students. I called my mom and told her I needed you to pick me up.
My mother drove the car all the way from Jiuxianqiao to Tsinghua University. I was sitting on the side of the road when she pulled me into the car. I couldn't speak, and she didn't speak, just kept driving silently. Until I got to the airport expressway, I suddenly couldn't hold back and started crying frantically, the kind of hysterical out of breath crying.
I was 17 years old that year. I met Hadrien in Paris, it was winter. Everyday life is carefree, reading books, playing the piano, memorizing sheet music, visiting museums, churches, and walking aimlessly. I will also be unconvinced to change Bach, even Mozart and Chopin, who I already like very much; I can’t swim but I will find a court to play tennis recklessly, and I put everything down on the court with H every day to be myself; we don’t have bicycles, but We can run wild in Paris in the snow. At that time, the world was very simple. There were too many things to worry about. All you could do was do whatever you wanted to do, live naturally, and love naturally.
The story gets here, and the story of Oliver and Elio instantly becomes the story of me and Hadrien. I suddenly felt that we didn't love so hard back then, we didn't have so many ears, and we didn't get along so much day and night. At this moment, I felt that this story was so unreal, and it made me feel that Elio was actually another me, and everything was just It's just a recollection in his mind afterwards, because the real world will never be so beautiful.
Now that I'm in New York, Hadrien is still in Paris, we're still in touch, even close to meeting. I haven't finished writing my old Paris stories, and I don't know if he will write them down like I do, but I know he loved me, and I loved him, whenever I lost the courage and confidence to love , I will look back, think of him, and think of the moment when I sat in the car and cried like a tearful man.
I don't agree with this film in terms of technology and characterization, and many of the personal emotional connections are just my own masturbation. It's just that when I think of that person, I'll think of myself at that time. When simplicity and beauty can no longer appear frequently around me, when courage and sincerity have become rarer, when I am ready to love, then I think of myself as the best version of myself. . My current self has changed.
I have read books and novels. I have been him in the story, so I know how unreal this story is and how much self-imagination it has. But every schizophrenic individual is a born artist, because only the split alter ego can see, imagine and experience joy and pain, joy and helplessness that others cannot.
But I am not 17 years old anymore.
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