Zombieland Quotes

Tallahassee: We are cursed! We... are... cursed! We're cursed! It's like we picked up Bobby Brady's ass-reaming Tiki and it's just tipping us over, and just ramming us in the...

[to Little Rock]

Tallahassee: Please don't ask me who Bobby Brady is, or I'll lose my shit more than I lost it a second ago, okay?

Tallahassee: There's nothing more romantic then an old couple dying within minutes of one another.

Columbus: Yeah, that's because you smashed their heads in with a fireplace poker.

Little Rock: This is really, really fucked up.

Tallahassee: Hey-ho! Language. But you're right. It is.