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Tommy: I can't see anything. You?
Zoe: No, my eyes are closed.
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Sam: [holding up the torso of a dead zombeaver] Is this what you want, you fucks?
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Sam: We cannot turn against each other right now. That's exactly what the beavers would want.
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Buck: Zoe... I'm sorry I never ate your pussy. I'm gonna go back and eat all of it one day.
Zoe: It's okay, baby. We're going to get out of here, okay?
Buck: It just smells so bad down there...
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Sam: Come out to the lake, have a few laughs...
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Smyth: [aiming down scope of a sniper rifle] Filthy, hairy beavers...
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Smyth: You girls from out of town?
Mary: Yeah, we're staying over there at my cousin's place.
Jenn: We're looking for beavers.
Smyth: Well, hell, ain't we all?
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Buck: I've never seen a real beaver before up close.
Zoe: Well, maybe you should try going down on me once in a while, Buck.
-
[during the outtakes]
Luke: I had a job for a minute as one of those sign spinners.
Joseph: Like in one of those sandwich places?
Luke: Yeah, but I plugged it in, put some Christmas lights in it, tried to get paid extra... strangled my penis.
Joseph: Strangled your penis? How does that happen?
Luke: You can strangle your penis.
Joseph: Were you doing that flip behind your back and came up around your taint?
Luke: My penis was in a rear, naked choke.
Joseph: What kind of workman's comp do you get for that?
Luke: You just get fired...
[they start laughing]
-
Tommy: Suck a bag of dicks!
-
[the three girls arrive to the lake]
Zoe: Whoo, alright. Let's get naked.
Mary: What are you doing? Someone could see you.
Zoe: Mary who? Mrs. Gregorson? I see like two houses here.
[Taking her top off]
Zoe: If I'm getting anything out of being stuck in the middle of nowhere, it's a tan, without lines.
[Goes into the water]
Zoe: Come on in bitches.
Mary: Well, I guess we can be grateful she left her bottoms on.
Jenn: I bet Mrs. Gregorson swims topless.
-
[as Buck and Zoe have sex while Jen and Sam listen]
Buck: Oh I feel like a Power Ranger.
[Bemused Sam]
Buck: Oh shit you are sweet. You are way to hot for me.
Zoe: Oh baby you know it.
Zombeavers Quotes
Extended Reading
