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Ryan Hui: Hold up, you dig on multiverses?
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Meredith McNeil: [At lunch, the girls are talking amongst themselves about Darcie] I mean she's seriously smeggy. Like ultimate smeggy.
Clare Shannon: I know!
Darcie Chapman: [overhears the conversation, stops at Clare's table] What was that?
Meredith McNeil: Um... nothing.
Tyler Manguso: Um. Mm. But you were laughing.
Lola Sanchez: Which is co-signing, and we wanna know what you were laughing about.
Darcie Chapman: Go ahead. Everyone's listening.
Clare Shannon: [ponders for a moment] Okay.
[gets out of her seat and approaches Darcie]
June Acosta: Clare, come on.
Meredith McNeil: Go Clare. Yeah, do it.
Darcie Chapman: What's so funny, winner?
Clare Shannon: Yeah, what's funny... is that you're smegma. But like... ultimate smegma.
Darcie Chapman: What does that even mean?
Clare Shannon: Well...
Meredith McNeil: [hands Clare her phone] Oh, Clare. I got it.
Clare Shannon: Thank you.
[looking at the definition of smegma]
Clare Shannon: Yeah, this is great. Um... Smegma. It's a noun.
[clears throat, then reads the definition]
Clare Shannon: "A malodorous, opaque, white or yellow substance produced by the sebaceous glands of male and female genitalia." It's found beneath the foreskin and glands of the penis in males, and in the folds of skin surrounding the clitoris in females.
[Everyone starts laughing in the background]
Clare Shannon: Oh, I... I... I'm so sorry. Would you like me to define "ultimate" for you?
Darcie Chapman: [slaps Clare, then a fight breaks out]
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Ryan Hui: It's a demon.
Clare Shannon: What does it want?
Ryan Hui: Your soul.
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Clare Shannon: Ryan! What's the price?
Ryan Hui: Of?
Clare Shannon: Your cousin helping me translate something.
Ryan Hui: Uh... well, she's a slut for wontons.
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June Acosta: Your dad is, like... serious hot sauce. Like, Sriracha hot.
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Meredith McNeil: You wanna know what I think, Clare?
Clare Shannon: Yeah.
Meredith McNeil: I think you're a selfish bowl of bitch sauce.
Wish Upon Quotes
Extended Reading
