Wind Chill Quotes

Guy: [gives Girl a dirty look after she just gets off the phone]

Girl: What?

Guy: If I have to drive, you have to talk to me.

Girl: What, I'm the in flight entertainment?

Guy: That's how this ride sharing thing works, okay? Division of labor. We split everything 50/50

Girl: Oh, well, I got news for you, I don't get much more entertaining then when I'm on the phone.

Girl: The next gas station you see, do me a favor and pull over, I gotta pee.

Guy: Yeah, okay, I'll keep my eyes peeled.

[Girl gives him a look]

Guy: What?

Girl: It's that phrase, keeping your eyes peeled. It's just kinda creepy.

Guy: Yeah, it is, sorta.

Girl: Yeah?

Guy: Yeah. Speaking of uh, peeling eyeballs. Did you know that's how they do the corrective eye surgery?

Girl: Yeah, they use a laser.

Guy: Yeah, they do, but there's also peeling involved.

[Girl looks at him]

Guy: I saw it on Discovery Health. You know if more people knew about the whole peeling part, they might think twice before going under the knife.

Girl: It's a laser. They use a laser.

[pause]

Girl: I'm having corrective eye surgery over the break.

Guy: Why?

Girl: Because I hate wearing my glasses, okay?

Guy: But they look so good on you.

Girl: How would you know? I never wear them outside my dorm.

Guy: Hey, here's your gas station.

Girl: [after having been locked in the gas station bathroom and unable to get out or be heard by anyone] Hey, didn't you just hear me banging in there?

Guy: [bewildered laugh] When?

Girl: Oh, that's funny to you? Me locked in, you think that's funny?

Guy: What are you talking about? Locked in where?

Girl: You're telling me you didn't just hear me banging on the door? I could hear you.

Guy: Listen, I don't know what you're talking about.

Girl: [pauses] Forget it, it doesn't matter, let's just get back on the road.

Clerk: Remember the highway's your best bet.

Guy: Don't worry about it man, I got it all covered.

Girl: Are we lost or something?

Guy: No, I've done this drive a million times.

Guy: So, did your parents do the whole traditional family Christmas?

Girl: Yeah.

[pause]

Girl: You?

Guy: No, my grandparents are Dutch. So I was raised on salted licorice and Sinterklaus.

Girl: How is that different from regular Santa Claus?

Guy: Well, instead of the North Pole, he lives in Spain and instead of elves, he's got this enforcer named Black Pete. So he's basically like your Santa Claus, only scarier.

[drops voice on "scarier"]

Girl: That's charming.

Guy: Okay, so let me get this straight, you think I intentionally arranged for us to get stranded out here?

Girl: I don't know!

Guy: It was an accident, goddammit! You saw the other guy! You think he was in on it too?

Girl: Maybe!

Guy: You're crazy!

Girl: I'm crazy?

Guy: Yes!

Girl: You know what, while you were supposedly unconscious, I got through to a friend's voice mail and I'm sure she's called the cops.

Guy: Would you listen to yourself? What kind of a psycho do you think I am?

Girl: Exactly!

Guy: [after they get stranded] I think I remember losing a candy bar down the seat cushions the other day. God, I'm starving.

[gets pulled down]

Guy: Ahhhh!

Girl: What? What is it?

Guy: Ahhhh!

Girl: What?

Guy: [gets up grinning] It's a candy bar.

Girl: You're an asshole.