-
Jackie Flaherty: I wanna go to Ohio and beat the crap out of his mom.
Mike Flaherty: Okay, come on.
Jackie Flaherty: No, I do. I want to beat the crap out of her and her stupid boyfriend.
Mike Flaherty: Okay.
Jackie Flaherty: I'm serious.
Mike Flaherty: I know you are. I just... I don't think that beating the crap out of everybody is the best solution, that's all.
Jackie Flaherty: It feels like it.
-
Stemler: Yo, what up, Pancake?
Rew: Shut the hell up, Chewbacca!
-
Abby: Where's Daddy?
Jackie Flaherty: He's running.
Abby: From what?
-
Leo Poplar: Don't take any shit from any of those guys.
Kyle: I won't.
-
[Jackie locks Kyle in the basement]
Mike Flaherty: What're you doin'?
Jackie Flaherty: We have kids, Mike. I'm not taking any chances with Eminem down there.
Mike Flaherty: There's not even a bathroom down there, Jack.
[Jackie reluctantly unlocks the door]
-
Jackie Flaherty: Does she even know you're here?
Kyle: My mom? She doesn't care about me.
Jackie Flaherty: How do you know? She's probably worried sick and doesn't know how to reach you.
Kyle: [holding up his cell phone] She could've called, right?
-
Kyle: If he's Darth Vador, you're the Secret Apprentice.
-
Jackie Flaherty: You're gonna talk to her, right?
Mike Flaherty: Yes, I intend to, if you don't punch her out first.
-
Mike Flaherty: [to the wrestling team] Now, did you all see what Kyle did the other day? He exploded up, right? Kyle, show the guys what you did.
Kyle: It's kind of my own thing.
Mike Flaherty: Well, can you share it with us?
Kyle: But it's not even a move or anything.
Mike Flaherty: It's okay.
Kyle: All right. Well, I just tell myself that the guy on top's tryin' to take my head and shove it under water and kill me, and if I don't wanna die on bottom, I have to do whatever the fuck it takes to get out.
Stephen Vigman: [breaking a stunned silence] Okay. So the move is "Whatever the fuck it takes." Let's go. Let's work on it.
Terry Delfino: [chiming in forcefully as if knowledgeable] WHATEVER THE FUCK IT TAKES! LET'S GO, GENTLEMEN. UP!
-
Kyle: If I wanna smoke, should I go outside?
Jackie Flaherty: You shouldn't be smoking.
Kyle: I know. But if I do.
Jackie Flaherty: Then you should go outside.
Win Win Quotes
Extended Reading
