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Kim Baker: No, you are a bad friend. You are a bad friend. In America, I would get a book deal out of this shit! You can't just do this, OK? I haven't been on the air in months! My best friend here, almost died, and I am jealous of her. And I am just... Fuck this! All of it!
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Specialist Coughlin: There's only so much any of us have any control of, good or bad. If you didn't learn that in Afghanistan, you were not paying attention.
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Kim Baker: I'm wondering if you can give me something... on background, just about the security situation here and the state of the war in general.
General Hollanek: Yeah, I can give you something... this war's like fucking a gorilla, you keep on going until the gorilla wants to stop.
Kim Baker: I think I can paraphrase that.
General Hollanek: Knock yourself out.
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General Hollanek: Jesus, you have got to be shitting me. You just shot a Javelin... at a fucking car. That's an eighty thousand dollar piece of ordnance. Can any of you geniuses tell be the Kelly Blue Book value of an 1989 Toyota pickup?
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Kim Baker: What are we talking about, Fahim?
Fahim Ahmadzai: The human body produces its own heroin. In fact, when the fight-or-flight instinct is activated in the hypothalamu, your body releases endorphins, dopamine and norepinephrine. That is heroin, cocaine and amphetamine, all at once.
Kim Baker: Okay, great. Are we having the Afghan version of this conversation, where in New York we would have gotten to the point, like, five minutes ago?
Fahim Ahmadzai: There is a reason to believe that a person can get addicted to this type of high. Soldiers, athletes...
Kim Baker: War reporters. Got it.
Fahim Ahmadzai: An addict always needs a greater and greater dosage. And then people make mistakes, people get hurt.
Kim Baker: I get it. You're a newlywed. I can probably get them to go up to $125 a day.
Fahim Ahmadzai: Let us have the American version of this conversation.
Kim Baker: Okay.
Fahim Ahmadzai: I do not want to work with you anymore.
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Specialist Coughlin: You embrace the suck and move the fuck forward
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Specialist Coughlin: I hope you got all that on film, ma'am,'cause that right there, that's what we do best. Hearts and minds: the two best places to shoot somebody.
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Kim Baker: [Putting on blue burqa] It's so pretty I don't even want to vote.
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Tall Brian: Brian Hooper. Tall Brian. I'm your shooter.
Kim Baker: So, is there another Brian around here somewhere that you're taller than?
Tall Brian: Short Brian. Works for Reuters.
Kim Baker: Couldn't one of you just be Brian?
Tall Brian: Fair enough, didn't think of that. Also, Short Brian's dead.
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General Hollanek: While you're outside the wire with my men, you will in no way distract them. Understood?
Kim Baker: Are you asking me not to sleep with your soldiers?
General Hollanek: No, not soldiers. Marines. You're not here to sleep with or perform jobs of any type on my Marines.
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Kim Baker: What inspired you to enlist originally?
Lt. Stern: I'm a big fan of the movie Predator with Arnold Schwarzenegger. We're the same height.
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Kim Baker: It's probably just a wedding somewhere nearby. They like to shoot off guns at weddings here. You get it, you're from Florida.
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Tanya Vanderpoel: Can I fuck your security guys?
Kim Baker: What?... By all means, yeah.
Tanya Vanderpoel: Yeah? I mean, I wouldn't ask. It's just that for some reason, the VBC use an American contractor and, I mean, no offense, but they're all, like goatees and "fat-strong".
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Tanya Vanderpoel: In Afghanistan, you're a serious piece of ass.
Kim Baker: Thank you. Ohh, that's nice.
Tanya Vanderpoel: Because you're what, I mean, you're like, a seven, a six, seven in New York? Here, you're a nine. Borderline ten. It's called "Kabul Cute."
Kim Baker: What are you here, like a 15?
Tanya Vanderpoel: Yeah.
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Fahim Ahmadzai: [Quoting Rumi] I ride after a deer and find myself chased by a hog. I plot to get what I want and end up in prison. I dig pits to trap others and fall in. I should be suspicious of what I want.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Quotes
Extended Reading
Director: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa
Language: English,Pashtu,Dari,French Release date: March 4, 2016