Welcome to the Dollhouse Quotes

[Dawn offers Steve something to eat while he waits for Mark to come home]

Dawn Weiner: Ring Dings, Pop Tarts, whatever! I can make Jell-O.

[Looking at pictures of Steve]

Dawn Weiner: Oh, Steve, they're all so beautiful.

Steve: I'm thinking of using this one on my first album cover.

Dawn Weiner: You're gonna have a record?

Steve Rodgers: Special people?

Dawn Weiner: Yeah.

Steve Rodgers: Do you know what "special people" means?

Dawn Weiner: What?

Steve Rodgers: Special people equals retarded. Your club is for retards.

Dawn Weiner: I was fighting back.

Mrs. Weiner: Who told you to fight back?

Dawn Weiner: Why do you hate me?

Lolita: Because you're ugly.

Dawn Weiner: Do you think about girls?

Mark Weiner: Are you kidding? I want to get into a good school.

Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.

Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.

Brandon: Why do you hang out with that faggot?

Dawn Weiner: Just because Ralphie's a faggot doesn't mean he's an asshole.

Dawn Weiner: [opening lines]

[walks up to Lolita]

Dawn Weiner: Can I sit here?

Lolita: If you feel like it.

[looks at Dawn eating her lunch]

Lolita: Someone barfed there fourth period.

Cookie: [walks up with cheerleaders] Hi, Dawn, sorry to bother you, but we were just wondering... Are you a lesbian?

[camera cuts to Dawn]

Cookie: Well, are you?

Dawn Weiner: No.

Lolita: Liar. She made a pass at me.

Cookie: [with group] Lesbo, Lesbo, Lesbo.

Dawn Weiner: [after Troy gets punched] Troy, are you okay?

Troy: Leave me alone, Wienerdog!

Ralphie: [after Brandon leaves Dawn's backyard] Don't worry, Dawn. Brandon's just a retard.

Dawn Weiner: FAGGOT!

[after seeing Dawn about to enter a school bathroom stall, then going over to the sink]

Lolita: You didn't come in here to wash your hands.

Dawn Weiner: Y - yes, I did.

Lolita: You came in here to take a shit.

Dawn Weiner: No, really. I don't have to go. My hands were just dirty, that's all.

Lolita: Liar. I can smell you from here.

Dawn Weiner: [looking at beefcake photos of Steve] Who took them?

Steve: Valerie Mondello. She's the photo editor of the yearbook.

Dawn Weiner: Was she your girlfriend?

Steve: For a few days. It was worth it, though, don't you think?

Missy Wiener: [to Dawn] Were you playing with my dolls?

Dawn Weiner: [defiantly] No!

[Missy stares at Dawn, unconvinced]

Missy Wiener: We're having a party!

Dawn Weiner: What for?

Mark Weiner: Mom and Dad's 20th, dinghead.

Mary Ellen Moriarty: [Applause] Thank you. I am here to talk to you today... about the dangers of talking to strangers. For I, Mary Ellen Moriarty, once talked to strangers. And that is how I became the innocent victim of a brutal kidnapping. Almost 1 year ago on that day... a day I will never forget... I was a carefree teenager memorizing my lines for Hello, Dolly, I was supposed to play Dolly. I was walking home from rehearsals, I'd missed my carpool. I was standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change... when all of a sudden... a dark car pulled up beside me. And a big man stepped out. And he was older... and good-looking... and, um... he had a tattoo on his chest. And then the next thing I know he, um... So, students, what im trying to say is...

[Teacher screams]

Ralphie: Dawn? Do you think I'll get into the Hummingbirds next year?

Dawn Weiner: Boys always get in.

Ralphie: Do you think they'll go on a trip to Disney World next year also?

Dawn Weiner: I don't know! Maybe. Depends.

Ralphie: On what?

Brandon: Hey, dog-face!

Dawn Weiner: Drop dead!

Ralphie: Let's go.

Brandon: What's the matter, faggot? In a hurry to run home to Mommy?

Dawn Weiner: Shut up!

Brandon: Make me, lesbo!

Dawn Weiner: You think you're so cool!

Ralphie: You think you're hot shit but you're really just cold diarrhea.

Brandon: Hoo-HOO! Listen to this faggot!

Dawn Weiner: Shut up, you asshole!

Ralphie: Yeah, shut up!

Brandon: Man, if I were you, faggot, I'd be shittin' in my pants, 'cause when you go to junior high, man, I'm gonna smash that little fairy face of yours into a mushy pulp!

Dawn Weiner: Yeah, well, at least he won't stay back a year!

[Brandon knocks her soda out of her hand and laughs]

Dawn Weiner: Retard!