Lady Tottington: [over the phone] It's a disaster. I have the most terrible rabbit problem. The competition's only days away. You simply have to do something.

Wallace: Certainly, M'um.

Wallace: [Aside, to Gromit] I think we're about to go up in the world, lad.

Wallace: [Back on phone] Just stay right where you are, Your Ladyship, and we'll be with you in an...

[hits the control panel and gets dragged up through the ceiling]

Wallace: Ahhhh!

Lady Tottington: In an hour? But I can't wait an hour. I have a major infestation. Hello? Hello?
PC McIntosh: [the townspeople are discussing the attack on their vegetables] If you ask me, this was arson.

Townspeople: [gasp]

Mr. Caliche: Arson?

PC McIntosh: Yeah, somebody arsin' around! One of you lot!
Wallace: [sobbing] Oh, Gromit! I don't wanna be a giant rabbit!

Hutch the Rabbit: Aww. The bounce has gone from his bungee.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: You can hop, but you can't hide!
Wallace: I'm sorry, Gromit. I know you're doing this for my own good, but the fact is I'm just crackers about cheese. Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.

[Lowers the Mind Manipulation-omatic onto his head]

Wallace: It's time we tried my latest invention, the Mind Manipulation-omatic. It extracts unwanted thoughts and desires. I haven't tested it yet, but it should be perfectly safe. Just a bit of harmless brain alteration, that's all.
Wallace: Burrowing bounders! They must be breeding like... well, rabbits.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: I know your little secret, Pesto. I know exactly what's going on.

Wallace: Your Lordship...

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Oh, yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don't you? You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune?

Wallace: Who, me?

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Well, I got here first! I've spent a long time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover, and I'm not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me. Comprenez?
Reverend Clement Hedges: This was no man. Does a man have teeth the size of axe blades? Or ears like terrible tombstones? By tampering with nature, forcing vegetables to swell far beyond their natural size, we have brought a terrible judgement upon ourselves.

[Omninous organ music plays]

PC McIntosh: [to the organ player] Hey, give over!

[Organ player stops]

PC McIntosh: You're mental.

Reverend Clement Hedges: And for our sins, a hideous creature has been sent to punish us all! Repent! Repent! Lest you, too, taste the wrath of... the Were-Rabbit!
Wallace: Veg bad. Veg bad. Veg bad. Say no to carrots, cabbage and cauliflower.
[Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up in the Bunvacc]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: I want...

[lowers voice]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: ... toupée, please.

Wallace: Oh, grand. We take cheques or cash.

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Toupée, you idiot! My hair is in your machine.

Wallace: Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there. The hare, I think you'll find, is a much larger mammal.
Reverend Clement Hedges: Hello? Is anyone there?

[Were-Rabbit lets out an enormous belch]

Reverend Clement Hedges: Mrs. Mulch?
Lady Campanula Tottington: Please, Wallace, call me "Totty".
[Wallace is holding a carrot and has fluffy rabbit-ears]

Wallace: [to Gromit] What's up, Dog?
[last lines]

Hutch the Rabbit: Cheeeeeeeese!
Wallace: It's a veritable vegetable paradise!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: How on earth would those tiny-minded buffoons ever catch such a big rabbit?

Lady Tottington: Mr. Wallace?

Wallace: Um... with a big trap!

[Gromit slaps his face]

Mr. Crock: By Jove, he... he's got it!
[the Were-Rabbit is teetering on the edge of the roof and accidentally knocks down a stone urn]

PC McIntosh: Stand back! There may be a large rabbit dropping!
[first lines]

Wallace: Oh ho ho, cracking job, Gromit!
Wallace: [Falling down bed into hole] I'm in the mood for food!

[Wallace gets stuck in the hole]

Wallace: Uh, Gromit old pal, it happened again. I'll need assistance.

[Gromit slowly walks towards a switch cleverly marked "assistance" and pulls it. Camera then shows that a giant hammer comes out of Wallace's wardrobe and hits Wallace on the head]

Wallace: Ouch!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: [after Gromit intercepts the gold carrot-bullet meant for the Were-Rabbit] Aarrghh! Potty poo!
Hutch the Rabbit: Cheese Gromit! Cheese!
Hutch the Rabbit: I'm inventing mostly.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: No nonsense with Victor Quartermaine. What you see is what you get.

[his toupee is sucked into a rabbit hole and Lady Tottington screams]
Lady Tottington: [to Wallace in were-rabbit form] Run, rabbit, run!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: [on the rooftop, preparing to shot the rabbit] This buck stops here!
Wallace: [tugging on his rabbit ears] I can't answer the door! Not like this!

Hutch the Rabbit: [going up the stairs] Charming! I'm Wallace.

Wallace: Ah! I already am!
Wallace: [referring to vegetables] Oh, lovely food! For rabbits that is!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: Spare me the sermon, vicar! Just tell me how I can kill him!... I mean, it.
Reverend Clement Hedges: I have a hunch this is going to be a night to remember!

Mr. Growbag: I just have a hunch.
Wallace: [showing the rabbit-sucking machine to Lady Tottington] Aah, the old BV6000, Ma'am, err... capable of 125 rpm - that's "rabbits per minute".
Reverend Clement Hedges: To kill such a creature will require nerves of steel and... a bullet!

[lightning strikes]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: A bullet?

[lightning strikes]

Reverend Clement Hedges: A bullet!

[lightning strikes]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: A bull...

[lightning strikes]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Oh!

[closing the window]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: What kind of bullet?

Reverend Clement Hedges: A bullet... of pure gold.

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Gold?

Reverend Clement Hedges: Yes... 24 "carrots"

[chuckles]
[Victor is dangling by his braces from a weather-vane with his bare buttocks showing]

Reverend Clement Hedges: Beware the moon!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: If I can't have your money, I'll can still bag your Bunny!
Mr. Dibber: [to Victor Quartermaine] Kiss my ar...

[produces his vegetable]

Mr. Dibber: ... tichoke!
Wallace: [strapped into the Mind Manipulation-omatic] . Their tiny bunny brains are being saturated in my veg-free mind waves.
[Victor rams a pitchfork into Lady Tottington's hair]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Hmm. I rather like your hair pinned back.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: Your loyalty's moving. Sadly, you won't be.
Reverend Clement Hedges: Protect and nourish the frail and the weak, O Lord. Let them grow big and strong under Thy loving care.

[Pull back to show him "blessing" his vegetables]

Reverend Clement Hedges: In fact, let them grow bigger and stronger than anyone else's, so that the first prize might be mine. Amen.
Lady Tottington: But Victor, didn't we agree, no more thoughtless killing?

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Quite right, my dear, so I thought this one out very carefully.

[Aims his gun at a rabbit]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: It's off to bunny heaven for you, big ears!
Lady Tottington: You see, Victor, there is hope for the vegetables yet.

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Not the ones I'm looking at.
Wallace: Ah, love, Gromit. That's the biggest trap of all. The tender trap, they call it. And that's how we'll capture this thing. A lovely lady rabbit. How could any hot-blooded rabbit beast resist?
[Gromit is manipulating a large female rabbit puppet to lure the Were-Rabbit]

Wallace: Oh, come on, Gromit. A bit more, you know... alluring.

[Gromit vamps it up]

Wallace: Oho, very cheeky.
Hutch the Rabbit: Oh, I do love a bit of gorganzola!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: Vicar! Vicar! Oh, where the devil is he?

Reverend Clement Hedges: Do you want to confess?

Lord Victor Quartermaine: I want to talk to you about... The beast.

[lightning strikes]

Reverend Clement Hedges: Everything you need to know is inside this book.

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Nun Wrestling?

Reverend Clement Hedges: No I meant this book.

[lays a book on the table]
[repeated line]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: What ho! Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother.
[Wallace and Gromit have captured a rabbit]

Reverend Clement Hedges: Bless you Anti-Pesto! With you out there protecting our veg, the most important event of the year is safe.

Mrs. Mulch: Yeah, and I hope they give them pests what's comin' to them and all.

Reverend Clement Hedges: Amen to that, Mrs. Mulch!
[after both of Victor's shots miss]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: [Grabbing the Reverend] Quick! I need another gold bullet!

Reverend Clement Hedges: They don't come cheap, you know!
Lord Victor Quartermaine: [to Lady Tottington] I'm sorry my dear but I refuse to suffer any more humiliation at the hands of these blundering nittwits. I therefore bid you good day.

[Leaves, wearing a rabbit for a toupee]
Wallace: Oh, Gromit. We've created a monster. Hutch is the beast. The lunar panels! They must've ovestimulated his primitive bunny nature. And now when the moon is out, he undergoes a hideous transformation.

[Suddenly Hutch starts twitching and growling until... he lets out a loud belch]

Wallace: This is absolutely... fantastic! Sure, we've created a veg-ravaging monster, but we have also captured it, just like we promised Lady Tottington.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: No one beats Victor Quartermain!

Lady Campanula Tottington: Is that so?

[Hits Victor over the head with her giant carrot]

Lady Campanula Tottington: Consider yourself dumped.
Reverend Clement Hedges: Beware! Beware the beast within!
Wallace: And slow down, for pity's sake! You'll buckle me trunnions!
Wallace: [as the BunVac 6000 labours] Sounds like a really big brute, this one. Give it some more welly.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: [preparing to engage Wallace in fisticuffs] And don't think that acting like a big girl's blouse will get you out of it. There's no mercy with Victor Quartermaine.
[after everyone thinks that the wererabbit is dead and everyone is celebrating]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: [whispering] I don't want to alarm anyone, but the beast isn't actually dead yet.

PC McIntosh: [shouting through his loudspeaker] *The beast isn't actually dead yet?*

[everything stops]

PC McIntosh: [into loudspeaker] Oops.
Wallace: [entering through the gates of Tottington Hall] Ho-ho! Very classy!
Wallace: Full suction.
Mr. Mulch: It's worse than the cabbage blight of '72 when there were slugs the size of pigs!
Wallace: [while Quartermaine is unintentionally being sucked by the Bunvacc 6000] Maybe I should've used a bigger nozzle.
[Wallace and Gromit have released Quartermaine from the Bunvacc 6000 after unintentionally sucking him up]

Lady Tottington: Victor! Stop fooling around in the dirt and have a look at this. The ingenious Anti-Pesto have completely dealt with my rabbit problem. Isn't it marvellous?

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Marvellous? "MARVELLOUS?"! This confounded contraption virtually suffocated me! Besides, the job's only half-done. How do you intend to finish these vermin off? Crush 'em?

[kicks the side of the Bunvacc]

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Liquidize 'em?

Lady Tottington: They're humane.

Lord Victor Quartermaine: [referring to his hairpiece] "Humane?"! Well, then, perhaps they'd be "humane" enough to give me back my *dignity*!
Lady Tottington: the gold carrot belongs in the show!

Lord Victor Quartermaine: no, the golden carrot belongs in the Were-Rabbit!

[the Were-Rabbit angrily kicks up Lady Tottington and kicks away Victor as the townspeople, villagers and citizens all run screaming in terror]

Lady Tottington: put me down you big hairy thing you!

[a citizen stops at the vegetable stand to get his vegetable and the Were-Rabbit comes upon him]

Screaming Citizen: [gets knocked over by the Were-Rabbit] AAH!

Lady Tottington: stop! stop!
Lady Tottington: the gold carrot belongs in the show!

Lord Victor Quartermaine: no, the gold carrot belongs in the Were-Rabbit!

[the Were-Rabbit angrily picks up Lady Tottington, kicks away Victor and stomps around as villagers, citizens and townspeople go running and screaming]

Villager: every man for himself!

Lady Tottington: put me down you great big, hairy thing you!

Screaming Citizen: [stops at the vegetable stand to get his vegetable and gets knocked over by the Were-Rabbit]

[Wilhelm Scream]

Screaming Citizen: AAH!

Lady Tottington: stop! stop!