Two Swords Quotes

Alliser Thorne: You always know when a man is telling a lie. How did you acquire this magical power?

Maester Aemon: I grew up in King's Landing.

Jon Snow: Have you ever been beyond the Wall, sir?

Janos Slynt: I commanded the City Watch of King's Landing, boy.

Jon Snow: And now you're here. Must not have been very good at your job.

Oberyn Martell: And what are you? His hired killer?

Bronn: Started that way, aye. Now I'm a knight.

Oberyn Martell: How did that come to pass?

Bronn: Killed the right people, I suppose.

Arya Stark: When am I going to get a horse of my own?

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Little lady wants a pony.

Arya Stark: Little lady wants away from your stench.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Horses aren't easy to come by. Even if they were, think I'm gonna put you on your own horse? Watch the only thing of value I've got in the world ride away?

Arya Stark: Why don't you have any money? Didn't you steal anything from Joffrey before you left?

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: No.

Arya Stark: You're not very smart, are you?

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: I'm not a thief.

Arya Stark: You're fine with murdering little boys, but thieving is beneath you.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Man's got to have a code.

Arya Stark: You think I'm gonna escape. Where would I go? I'd be dead by nightfall without you, my family's gone, I've got no one.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: You've got an aunt in the Vale. Your rich aunt Lysa. After I sell you to her, maybe she'll have enough left over to buy you that pony you want so much.

[Arya and the Hound watch an inn from the bushes]

Arya Stark: I'm hungry. YOU'RE hungry.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Five horses, five men. More than I feel like killing on an empty stomach.

[a door opens and two men walk out; Arya recognizes one of them]

Arya Stark: I know him. The small one. His name is Polliver. He captured us and took us to Harrenhal. He killed Lommy.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: What the fuck's a Lommy?

Arya Stark: He was my friend. Polliver stole my sword and put it right through his neck. He's still got it.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Got what?

Arya Stark: My sword. Needle.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: [derisively] Needle. Of course you named your sword.

Arya Stark: Lots of people name their swords.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Lots of cunts.

Polliver: You know what? You should come with us.

[Polliver points at the innkeeper]

Polliver: His kind, they've always got something hidden away somewhere. Gold, silver, more daughters, always something if you know how to make 'em talk. And there's plenty of in-between here and King's Landing. You could do well for yourself. We certainly have been.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: I'm not going to King's Landing.

Polliver: Think about it. We could do whatever we like, wherever we go.

[Polliver taps his surcoat]

Polliver: These are the king's colors. No one's standing in his way now, which means no one's standing in ours.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: [leaning forward] Fuck the king.

[long, uncomfortable silence]

Polliver: When I heard that Joffrey's dog had tucked tail and run from the Battle of the Blackwater, I didn't believe it. But here you are.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Here I am. Bring me one of those chickens.

Polliver: You got money to pay for it?

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: YOU paid for it?

Polliver: [chuckles] No. But we're the king's men. So, you got money?

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Not a penny. I'll still take that chicken.

Polliver: Tell you what: we'll trade you. One of our little chickens for one of yours.

[Polliver turns to look at Arya]

Polliver: Give us a go at your friend.

[Polliver turns and motions to one of his men at another table]

Polliver: Lowell there likes them a bit broken in.

[pause]

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: You're a talker. Listening to talkers makes me thirsty.

[the Hound reaches across the table, grabs Polliver's drink, and drains it]

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: And hungry. Think I'll take two chickens.

[Polliver turns and looks at his men, then turns back to the Hound]

Polliver: You don't seem to understand the situation.

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: I understand that if any more words come pouring out your cunt mouth, I'm gonna have to eat every fucking chicken in this room.

Polliver: You lived your life for the king. You gonna die for some chickens?

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: Someone is.

[another long pause, then everybody draws their weapons and a fight breaks out]

[after stabbing a Lannister soldier in Littlefinger's brothel, Oberyn Martell leaves with Tyrion]

Oberyn Martell: Seems I visited the Lannister brothel by mistake.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh, they take all kinds.

Oberyn Martell: [sarcastically] Even Dornishmen.

Tyrion Lannister: The king is very grateful that you traveled all this way for his wedding.

Oberyn Martell: Now let us speak truth here, Joffrey is insulted. I am only the second son, after all.

Tyrion Lannister: Well, speaking as a fellow second son, I've grown rather used to being the family insult.

[Oberyn laughs]

Tyrion Lannister: Why did you come to King's Landing, Prince Oberyn?

Oberyn Martell: I was invited to the royal wedding.

Tyrion Lannister: I thought we were speaking truth.

[pause]

Oberyn Martell: The last time I was in the capital was many years ago. Another wedding. My sister Elia and Rhaegar Targaryen, the Last Dragon. My sister loved him. She bore his children. Swaddled them, rocked them, fed them at her own breast. Elia wouldn't let the wet nurse touch them. And beautiful, noble Rhaegar Targaryen... left her for another woman. That started a war, and the war ended right here, when your father's army took the city.

Tyrion Lannister: It wasn't actually...

Oberyn Martell: They butchered those children. My nephew and niece. Carved them up and wrapped them in Lannister cloaks. And my sister. You know what they did to her?

[Tyrion has been staring at the ground uncomfortably for some time; Oberyn lifts his chin with a finger]

Oberyn Martell: I'm asking you a question.

Tyrion Lannister: I've heard rumors.

Oberyn Martell: [chuckles] So have I. The one I keep hearing is that Gregor Clegane, the Mountain, raped Elia and split her in half with his great sword.

Tyrion Lannister: I wasn't there. I don't know what...

Oberyn Martell: If the Mountain killed my sister, your father gave the order.

[pause]

Oberyn Martell: Tell your father I'm here. And tell him the Lannisters aren't the only ones who pay their debts.

[Oberyn walks away]

[Tyrion, Bronn and Pod wait for the Dornish nobles. Bronn is bored. A peasant passes by, leading two goats]

Bronn: How many Dornishmen does it take to fuck a goat?

Tyrion Lannister: Please don't.

[Arya has just retaken her sword, Needle, from Polliver. She repeats back to Polliver the words with which he taunted Lommy before killing him]

Arya Stark: Something wrong with your leg, boy?

Polliver: What? What, what do you mean?

Arya Stark: Can you walk?

[pause]

Arya Stark: I've got to carry you?

Polliver: [confused] Carry me?

Arya Stark: Fine little blade. Maybe I'll pick my teeth with it.

[Polliver's eyes widen in recognition. Arya runs him through the neck]

Qyburn: [about Jaime's steel hand] A work of art. The craftsmanship is excellent.

Jaime Lannister: You like it so much, you're welcome to chop off your own hand and take it.

Cersei Lannister: You're such an ingrate. I spent days with the goldsmith getting the details just right.

Jaime Lannister: Days?

[pause]

Cersei Lannister: Better part of an afternoon.

[Jaime and Brienne are watching Sansa]

Brienne of Tarth: There she is.

Jaime Lannister: Yes, there she is. And?

Brienne of Tarth: You made a promise.

Jaime Lannister: To return the Stark girls to their mother who is now dead.

Brienne of Tarth: [sharply] To keep them safe!

Jaime Lannister: Well, Arya Stark hasn't been seen since her father was killed. Where do you think she is? My money's on dead. There's a certain safety in death, wouldn't you say? And Sansa Stark is now Sansa Lannister. Bit of a complication.

Brienne of Tarth: A "complication" does not release you from a vow.

Jaime Lannister: What do you want me to do? Kidnap my sister-in-law? And take her where? Where would she be safer than here?

Brienne of Tarth: Look me in the eye and tell me that you think she'll be safe in King's Landing.

Jaime Lannister: [winces] Are you sure we're not related? Ever since I've returned, every Lannister I've seen has been a miserable pain in my ass. Maybe you're a Lannister, too. You've got the hair for it if not the looks.

[Jaime walks away. Brienne pauses for a moment, then follows him]

Jaime Lannister: [sword made of Valyrian steel] You've wanted one of these in the family for a long time.

Tywin Lannister: And now we have two.

Jaime Lannister: Two?

Tywin Lannister: The original weapon was absurdly large. Plenty of steel for two swords.

Oberyn Martell: [perusing trio of prostitutes] Look at this one. How lovely is she?

Ellaria Sand: Beautiful. But pale.

Oberyn Martell: We like them pale in the capital.

[slips off the girl's robe]

Oberyn Martell: Shows they don't work the fields.

Ellaria Sand: [to the young girl] Do I frighten you?

[the girl shakes her head]

Oberyn Martell: [to Ellaria] You like?

Ellaria Sand: Timid. Timid bores me.

Oberyn Martell: Mm.

[moves on to the next, a redhead]

Oberyn Martell: You're a bit of mischief, aren't you?

[to Ellaria:]

Oberyn Martell: I think she likes you.

[slips this girl's robe off as well]

Ellaria Sand: She's got good taste.

Oberyn Martell: [to the redhead] You're not timid, are you?

Ellaria Sand: [laughs merrily as the agile girl places her bare foot on the back of her own head] Not timid.

Oberyn Martell: Do you like women?

Whore #1: When they look like her, my lord.

Ellaria Sand: This one will do nicely.

Olyvar: Very good, my lady.

Ellaria Sand: Oh, I'm not a lady.

Olyvar: A term of courtesy in this establishment.

Ellaria Sand: A lie anywhere. Why not use the right words? I'm a bastard. She is a whore. And you're what?

Olyvar: A procurer. Any of the others?

Oberyn Martell: [sighs] The two girls can leave.

[Olyvar snaps his fingers to shoo away the two girls not chosen]

Oberyn Martell: You stay.

Jaime Lannister: You drink more than you used to.

Cersei Lannister: Yes.

Jaime Lannister: Why?

Cersei Lannister: Hmm. Let's see. You started a brawl in the streets with Ned Stark and disappeared from the capital. My husband died in a tragic hunting accident.

Jaime Lannister: [patronizing] It must have been traumatic for you.

Cersei Lannister: My only daughter was shipped off to Dorne. We suffered through a siege.

Jaime Lannister: A rather short siege.

Cersei Lannister: Rather a short siege that I didn't expect to survive. And now I'm marrying my eldest son to a wicked little bitch from Highgarden, while I'm supposed to marry her brother, a renowned pillow-biter. So...

Tormund Giantsbane: You plan on killing all the Crows yourself?

Ygritte: You plan on sitting here scratching your balls till winter?

Olenna Tyrell: [after rejecting one oversized necklace after the other] The Margaery Tyrell who walks into the Sept a fortnight from now, will inspire a thousand songs. How sad it will be if she's wearing rubbish like that.

Margaery Tyrell: Perhaps I should just let Joffrey choose it for me. End up with a string of dead sparrow heads around my neck.

Olenna Tyrell: You watch that. Even here, with me.