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Hans, trolljegeren: I hope you have all the footage you need.
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Thomas: Do you think Michael Moore gave up after the first try?
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Polsk bjørnejeger: In Poland, we don't ask, we do. Why problem make when you no problem have you don't want to make?
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Thomas: In one sense, you are a true Norwegian hero.
Hans, trolljegeren: No, you're wrong about that. There's nothing heroic about what I do. It's dirty work.
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Hans, trolljegeren: Troll!
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Hans, trolljegeren: No one here believes in God or Jesus?
Thomas: Nope. None of us.
Kalle: Don't look at me. Serious? Because they can smell the blood of a Christian man?
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Kalle: So what do you do if a troll wants to have an eating contest with you?
Hans, trolljegeren: Eating contest?
Kalle: Yeah.
Hans, trolljegeren: Fairy tales usually don't match reality.
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Johanna: Question. Why doesn't anybody know about this?
Hans, trolljegeren: Because someone doesn't want people to know.
Thomas: The government? Is the government behind this? Do you work for them?
Johanna: Why show it to us now?
Hans, trolljegeren: Because I'm tired of this shitty job. I have no rights whatsoever. I get no night bonus. No overtime. No nuisance compensation. Maybe it's time for a change in troll management. So if you could get this on TV...
Thomas: That shouldn't be a problem.
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Hans, trolljegeren: A giant, 200 feet tall, has chased the Dovre trolls down here. We don't want Jotnars running around.
Malica: Give me a break. Do you all actually believe in trolls?
Hans, trolljegeren: You think a squirrel rampaged through here? If only the trolls were happy. But TSS wants to keep a lid on everything.
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Thomas: In fairy tales, trolls wear clothes and talk like people - they're just like people.
Hans, trolljegeren: Fairy tales are for kids. Trolls are animals. Predators. They eat, shit and mate. Eat anything they can.
Thomas: How old can trolls get?
Hans, trolljegeren: 1000, 1200 years.
Thomas: And their intelligence level?
Hans, trolljegeren: In the pits. They are not bright. They manage to eat. But how hard is it to survive on rocks? I once saw a troll try to eat its own tail. His head between his legs, he tried to suck down his own tail. He started gagging on it, tipped over, and rolled down a hill like a wheel.
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Kalle: Let's take these recordings, drive to Oslo, and sell them for a fortune.
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Thomas: [noticing a container in Hans' trailer] Is that what we rubbed on ourselves?
Hans, trolljegeren: Yes.
Thomas: What is it?
Hans, trolljegeren: Concentrated troll stench. A mixture of all the crap you can squeeze out of a troll.
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Hans, trolljegeren: Trolls love to gnaw on old car tires.
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Hans, trolljegeren: Those may look like normal power lines, but they're electric fences to keep the trolls at bay.
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Hans, trolljegeren: Let's go visit the clowns in charge of the power grid.
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Thomas: We are in troll territory now. You don't seem to like entering these territories. Is there some particular reason?
Hans, trolljegeren: There was a mountain troll territory up in Strynefjell. Back in the 70's they decided to build tunnels through that troll-rich area. Both the TSS and I tried to object, but to no avail. I was given the task of going in and exterminating all the trolls. Every last one. Pregnant females. Kids. Newborns that hadn't even learned to walk. It was a massacre.
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Thomas: I don't have rabies. Hello! Dogs have rabies.
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Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg: [Speaking at a televised press conference] Few people find power grids attractive. I certainly don't. Norwegians are pro-electricity but against power lines. That won't work in the long run. Norway has trolls, so more power lines are needed. That's just the way it is.
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Polsk bjørnejeger: Hello. Hello, Finn.
Finn Haugen: Hello.
Polsk bjørnejeger: How are you?
Finn Haugen: Good.
Polsk bjørnejeger: Are you good?
Finn Haugen: Good.
Polsk bjørnejeger: Are you very good?
Finn Haugen: Yes.
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Hans, trolljegeren: Anyone need some gravel?
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Thomas: Now we know that trolls also explode.
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Kalle: Do you have any more troll stench?
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Kalle: If we run into a bunch of inbred pig farmers, your ass is first.
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Hans, trolljegeren: Why the hell did you say that none of you were Christian? The way that troll sniffed around, obviously one of you believes in God.
Thomas: I don't believe in God. I sang in a church teen choir, but that's because my parents forced me to.
Trollhunter Quotes
Extended Reading