Trick Quotes

Katherine: Oh my god, I have to tell you about this reall artsy party this French-Canadian girl in my acting class threw. Like everyone there they wrote like poems or novellas or something. So this one college guy, he was asian, he gets up with his little leather portfolio with a satin ribbon to tie it shut and he's gonna read his poetry. But before he starts reading, he tells us about his fascinations with the human body and he says what fascinates him even more is what comes out of the human body.

[sighs to her french fries]

Katherine: I know I'm really lactose intolerant but I really wish these had cheese on them. Anyway, evidentally he's tasted everything that's come out of his body except shit and he says he'll probably taste that one day too. And then he reads a poem about "shit" so I'm thinking, "Okay, this guy really likes shit," right? And then he keeps reading and he reads 17 poems all about shit. 17! I'm not kidding. And he's talking about the smells and the colors and the farting... Gabe, can you pass me the ketchup? Thanks. Anyway, I was so relieved when he got tired of reading. Then this ethnic woman stands up, she was like Native American or Pilipino, I can never really tell the difference, she didn't have a poem to read so she tells us about a problem that she's having. A sex problem. She says that there's like some force that's making her screw around all the time. All these guys are after her and I mean, she's not what I would call sexy. Well, not that I'm into women that way, but I can tell when a woman's sexy. I mean, she's not what I would call a skank or anything, she's just not what I would call sexy, that's all. So, anyway, this is really funny

[chuckles]

Katherine: , I drank soo much homemade ice tea that I really had to pee right in the middle of her story, right? So I get up, I go to the bathroom, but the bathroom door's locked. So I'm kind of standing there looking at the wallpaper, which is really kind of giving me a headache. Then all of a sudden the toilet flushes, the door opens and the "shit guy" walks out and he's smiling. And not one of those like polite acknowledgement smiles, but he's like SMILING like he's happy about something and all of a sudden I didn't have to pee anymore.

Gabriel: I left because of what the drag queen in the bathroom told me.

Judy: There was a drag queen in the bathroom?

Katherine: Did you find a rhyme for the lyric in the second "A?"

Gabriel: I'm working on it.

Ex Go-Go Boy: See, you work for tips. Sometimes you make a hundred, and if they like you, you make a hundred and fifty. And... If you do the other stuff...

[puts a dollar in Mark's g-string]

Ex Go-Go Boy: [to Mark] Shove off baby, that's all you're getting from me tonight.

Gabriel: Do you do the other stuff?

Ex Go-Go Boy: No, not since I found Jesus.

Gabriel: [realizing the missing verse of his song after kissing Mark - sung] Enter you / In less than no time /

[beat]

Gabriel: this ugly drama has become pretty.

Mark: You know, I think it's good how this turned out.

Gabriel: You do?

Mark: Yeah. We got the hard part over with.

Gabriel: Oh, what about the sex?

Mark: What kind of a girl do you think I am?

Mark: [to Perry's ex] Yeah, but we discovered we're both out-and-out tops... so we're makin' the rounds tonight... lookin' for a couple of hot bottoms.

[Pointing to Gabriel]

Mark: We got one.

Gabriel: Hi.

Mark: [to Gabriel] Did I say you could talk?

Gabriel: No...

Mark: No, what?

Gabriel: [Confused] No, thank you?

Mark: No, sir!

Gabriel: No, sir.

Mark: [to Perry's ex] He's still in training.

Gabriel: Hi. I'm - I'm Gabriel.

Mark: Mark. I'm Mark.

[Silence]

Gabriel: Wow, this is really awkward.

[Train passes in the background]

Mark: Huh?

Gabriel: [shouts] I said this is awkward.

Mark: [Deadpan] Which way?