Transformers: Dark of the Moon Quotes

Black Ops NASA Technician: We are not alone after all, are we?

Buzz Aldrin: No, sir. We're not alone.

Walter Cronkite: We now have had confirmation of loss of signal from the Apollo 11. The Apollo 11 is, at the moment, on the far side of the moon.

[at Mission Control, someone turns off a transmitter to the news station]

Director of NASA: Neil, you are dark on the rock. Mission is a go. We have 21 minutes.

Sam Witwicky: [pointing a gun at Dylan Gould] Where is she? WHERE IS SHE?

Dylan: You've got some balls.

Starscream: Thought you were working for us, BOY?

[Sam fires his grapple at Starscream]

Starscream: [hit] My eye! My eye! I can't see! I can't see!

[starts flailing around]

Lennox: What the hell was that thing?

Optimus Prime: That is Shockwave.

Megatron: All hail Megatron!

Igor: [hopping around] Masssterr...

Sentinel Prime: Optimus... all I ever wanted... was the survival of our race... You must see why I had to betray you...

Optimus Prime: [picks up Megatron's gun] You didn't betray me, Sentinel. You betrayed yourself.

[takes aim at Sentinel]

Sentinel Prime: No. NO, OPTIMUS...!

[Optimus fires]

Sam Witwicky: [to Lennox] We gotta get Sentinel outta here, he is the key to all this...

Sentinel Prime: Indeed I am! What you must realize my Autobot brothers, is we were never going to win the war! For the sake of our planet's survival, a deal had to be made... with Megatron!

[blasts Ironhide]

Lennox: GET BACK!

Ironhide: [rusting away] Sentinel... what have you done?

Sentinel Prime: [to Ironhide] I hereby discharge you from duty!

[shoots Ironhide again]

Laserbeak: What... did you say... to Witwicky?

Jerry Wang: Oh, shit...

[pulls two guns on Laserbeak]

Jerry Wang: Who wants some chicken dinner now, bitch? Huh? 'Cause somebody messed with the wrong Wang today!

Dylan: You think you're a hero? YOU THINK YOU'RE A HERO?

Sam Witwicky: No, I'm just a messenger.

[knocks Dylan into the pillar]

Megatron: Now, we need a truce. All I want is to be back in charge. Besides, who would you be without me, Prime?

Optimus Prime: Time to find out!

[attacks Megatron and beheads him]

Simmons: Don't worry, I speak their language.

[doorman opens sliding hatch]

Simmons: Do svidaniya.

Russian Bouncer: That means goodbye!

[closes hatch]

Que: Ah, good, you're here. My name's Que. I do hope you have answers for him. I've never seen him so upset!

Lennox: Optimus, you remember Charlotte Mearing, our director of National Intelligence?

[Optimus stays in truck mode]

Dino: He's in a bad mood. He's not talking to anybody today.

Charlotte Mearing: What is this, the silent treatment?

Ironhide: We've seen that and this is not that.

Que: Definitely not!

Ironhide: This is worse. Prime, make something of yourself!

[bangs fist on top of Optimus's cab, Optimus transforms]

Ironhide: He's pissed.

Optimus Prime: [pounds the ground] You lied to us! Everything humans know of our planet we were told had all been shared!

[points to component]

Optimus Prime: So why was this found in human possession?

Bruce Brazos: Come to Daddy. Come on, throw down.

Bumblebee: [through radio] "Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?"

Simmons: [Wants to impress the Russians with a Russian phrase] Dutch, give me something tough.

Dutch: Eh.

[browses dictionary in panic]

Dutch: Baryshnikov.

Cosmonaut Dimitri: We do speak English.

Simmons: Dutch, you suck.

Dutch: It's a Cyrillic alphabet. It's like all the buttons you never push on a calculator! I don't suck.

[Buzz Aldrin and Optimus Prime meet]

Buzz Aldrin: From a fellow space traveller, it's an honour meeting you.

Optimus Prime: The honour is mine.

Soundwave: Soundwave reporting, Lord Megatron.

Megatron: And what news from your little assassin?

Laserbeak: Autobots have taken the bait! They've discovered the Ark, and returned with its cargo!

Megatron: You did me a great honour, tracking that ship to the moon. Your human collaborators have served their purpose, Soundwave. It's time to eliminate loose ends.

[Laserbeak flies away]

Soundwave: Laserbeak: kill them all.

Laserbeak: With pleasure!

Laserbeak: [caws] Jerry, you are my favorite.

Jerry Wang: I'll do whatever you want me to do.

Laserbeak: [strokes Wang] I know, but my superiors need me to... suicide you.

[Crankcase pulls Simmons out and throws him on the road]

Dutch: Oh, mein Gott! I'm fired!

[Ironhide smashes into Crankcase and Crowbar]

Ironhide: Is there a problem?

[Ironhide and Sideswipe vs Crankcase and Hatchet]

Sideswipe: Whoa, we got us a little Mexican standoff!

Ironhide: Weapons down!

Sideswipe: And we'll let you escape with your dignity!

[at the Lincoln Memorial]

Starscream: Oh, my master, such a brilliant scheme! So when Sentinel left Cybertron, it was to defect!

Megatron: He was meant to rendezvous with me here on Earth, before fate waylaid us both. The only way to revive him: we needed Prime and his Matrix.

[blasts the Lincoln statue]

Starscream: Excellent strategy!

Igor: [chomping Lincoln's head] Mine! Mine!

Starscream: So, he is now your partner.

Megatron: He is my greatest triumph.

Starscream: So impressive!

Sentinel Prime: You're lucky I didn't kill you. In time, you'll see.

Optimus Prime: ...it's not over.

Wheelie: Sammy, don't let them take us!

Brains: Don't let them exile us...

Wheelie: It's a Decepticon trap!

Robert Epps: I still got my NEST friends out there. I'm a round 'em up, we'll find your girlfriend and we're gonna bring this guy in.

Sam Witwicky: Why are you helping me?

Robert Epps: 'Cause that asshole killed my friends too.

Carly Miller: Do you want this to happen?

Dylan: I want to survive, I want forty more years! You think I asked for this? I inherited a client!

Carly Miller: Yeah? Well, when Cybertron's here and we're all enslaved, I guess they'll still need a human leader!

Dylan: Don't jinx me! You want to survive, you listen to me!

[a coffee cup hits Shockwave on the head. He looks up, and sees Epps in the skyscraper]

Robert Epps: This evil thing's looking at me!

Shockwave: Driller Bot is thirsty.

[Driller arrives]

Robert Epps: And it even got an uglier Decepticon with it!

Shockwave: [speaks Cybertronian] Commence.

Dylan: NOOOO!

[pulls a gun on Sam]

Sam Witwicky: Dylan, you can't do this, okay?

Dylan: There's only one future for me!

[Cybertron looms above Chicago]

Megatron: Cybertron... you are saved, at last.

[Carly approaches Megatron]

Megatron: Oh, have you come to surrender?

Carly Miller: Was it all worth it?

Megatron: Obviously!

Carly Miller: All your work to bring Sentinel back, and now clearly he has all the power! It's actually almost tragic!

Megatron: YOU DARE LECTURE ME, SLAVE?

Carly Miller: Your Decepticons finally conquering this planet, and yet their leader won't be you!

Megatron: It will be me! It will always be me!

Carly Miller: In any minute now you'll be nothing but Sentinel's bitch!

[Megatron snarls and rises]

[Bumblebee drops some sprockets]

Carly Miller: Oooh, rings!

[Bumblebee plays wedding chimes]

Carly Miller: I love this car!

Sam Witwicky: Yeah, but Bee. you gotta slow it down. You gotta slow way down, ok?

Bumblebee: [through his radio] "I'm just trying to help out."

Sam Witwicky: You love it, don't you? I'm just your American boytoy!

Carly Miller: [laughs] I love a boytoy.

Sam Witwicky: Do you know how demoralizing it is that I've saved the world twice and still be groveling for a job?

Carly Miller: People don't know that you've saved the world Sam, I mean I do, I believe you.

Sam Witwicky: Government knows, I mean they could hook me up with a job right here in DC. I should be working with the Autobots otherwise, it's not fair.

Wheelie: [coming in out of the rain] Frickin' shorting my circuits out here! It's inhumane, that's what it is! Make us live in a box on a balcony next to a beast? Like a common animal!

Sam Witwicky: Stop, okay? You and your creepy sidekick can't be in here without permission.

Wheelie: According to who? Miss Blondie Blonde?

[climbs on the dog]

Wheelie: Giddyup, little doggie! Ha!

Wheelie: You know, Sam, I don't know about moving in with this chick. What if she dumps us like the last girl?

Brains: She was mean, didn't like her.

Wheelie: Us guys gotta stick together!

Brains: [sings] We are family! fa-fa-mi-mi-family.

Sam Witwicky: No, we are not family! You're a political refugee, and I have finally found someone who appreciates me for me!

Brains: Well, you tell her that we're not your pets, and we're not your toys, all right? We're an advanced genius alien race just looking for a home!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, I think for a job interview that you should wear real pants.

Sam Witwicky: I think for life, you should wear real pants.

Judy Witwicky: [Sees Sam's new car] Oh, what happened to Bumblebee?

Sam Witwicky: He's off on his missions. I had to get this for backup.

Ron Witwicky: Your car has a job, huh?

Judy Witwicky: Stop. What does it change into?

Sam Witwicky: It doesn't change into anything. It's a collector's item, Ma. I got it for a steal. It just needs some work. Trust me.

Judy Witwicky: No, I think it's darling. It reminds me a lot of Bumblebee... if Bumblebee were a sad piece of shit.

Charlotte Mearing: CIA's up my ass about this mystery raid in the Middle East. So it's time to come clean. Was your unit involved?

Lennox: Uh, I'm not sure ma'am.

Charlotte Mearing: As director of National Intelligence, I'm a really big fan of intelligent answers.

Lennox: I really can't tell you definitively. These Autobots are like teenage kids, they like to sneak out of the house every once in a while.

Starscream: Oh, my poor master. How it pains me to see you so wounded, so weak...

Megatron: Spare me, you gaseous sycophant! You know what you are told, which is nothing!

Sam Witwicky: We got an emergency, you gotta get Colonel Lennox out here. I'm reporting Decepticons! Decepticons are back, you gotta open that gate right now!

NEST Guard: Easy sir, this is Heath and Human services.

Sam Witwicky: Right, packing M4s! What are you protecting? Colostomy bags? Bedpans? Throat lozenges? Where'd you get that hat from, nursing school? So you're nurses and foot powder protectors, fantastic!

Sam Witwicky: Come here. Come here!

Bumblebee: [through radio] "Come on, Sam!"

Sam Witwicky: What is your deal, huh? I know your Black Op stuff is important to you and i'm not trying to diminish it or guilt trip you or anything, I just never see you anymore! You can't come to the garage and hang out just one night?

Bumblebee: "Sam, that makes me feel bad."

Sam Witwicky: Well I hope you feel bad, you should feel bad - look at the jalopy I'm driving now - I feel bad every single day!

Sentinel Prime: So majestic and peaceful, this planet. Unlike the final days on Cybertron.

Optimus Prime: I've wondered what might have been, if you had fought the final battle instead of me.

Sentinel Prime: Never mourn the past, young warrior. Thanks to you, our race survives.

Optimus Prime: [offers the Matrix to Sentinel] You were our leader, Sentinel. it is your right to lead us again.

Sentinel Prime: In a world I do not know, I am no longer your teacher, Optimus, you are mine.

Simmons: We've go to beak this case down. What we have here, is an astronaut epidemic.

[Points to different photos in turn]

Simmons: MIA, dead, died in a car accident, killed, DOA, car death... it's like these guys can't drive, they can fly into outer space but they can't drive a car.

[Bumblebee is startled by Carly and crashes into the ceiling light]

Brains: Oh, that was smooth Bumblebee!

Bumblebee: Missed it by that much!

[Hides face embarrassed]

Charlotte Mearing: Mr. Witwicky, I thought I made it clear to you that I did not want you calling this phone...

Sam Witwicky: Listen, the whole thing has been a set-up since the beginning! The Decepticons wanted Optimus to find Sentinel because he was the only one who could revive him.

Charlotte Mearing: But we have the space bridge...

Sam Witwicky: Mearing, you have five pillars - I just learned that they have hundreds! You're doing exactly what they wanted you to do! What do you need me to say to you? The Decepticons are coming for Sentinel Prime!

Optimus Prime: Why, Sentinel? Why?

Sentinel Prime: For Cyberton! For our home! What war destroyed, we can rebuild - but only if we join with the Decepticons!

Optimus Prime: No, it's not the only way! This is our home, we must defend the humans!

Sentinel Prime: So lost you are, Optimus. On Cybertron we were gods, and here they call us machines! Let the humans serve us, or perish!

Optimus Prime: What your leaders say is true: this was all my fault. I told them whom to trust. I was so wrong.

Sam Witwicky: That doesn't make it your fault, it just makes you human for a change.

Optimus Prime: Remember this: you may lose your faith in us, but never in yourselves.

Sam Witwicky: I need to know how you're going to fight back. I know there's a strategy, I know you're coming back with reinforcements, something. I know there's a plan. You can tell me, no other human will ever know.

Optimus Prime: There is no plan.

Sam Witwicky: If we just do what they want, how are we ever going to live with ourselves?

Optimus Prime: You are my friend Sam, you always will be. But your leaders have spoken. From here the fight will be your own.

Simmons: Excuse me, excuse me, It doesn't make sense! Can't we get any eyes in there at all?

Charlotte Mearing: They keep shooting down our drones.

General Morshower: They want us blind. But we do have a couple of mini-drones we're going to try.

Simmons: Well, whoever's manning these UAV drones, can we try to redirect them toward Trump Tower? The kid, Witwicky, was on his way to Chicago. Said some point man, human op is there, for the Decepticons! Listen, if I know anything I know this: that kid is an alien bad news magnet!

Robert Epps: [seeing destroyed Chicago] My god. We came here to find her in the middle of all of that?

Epps Team 'Stone': Are we really going out there Epps?

Eddie: I'm not going in there!

Robert Epps: No one's going in.

Sam Witwicky: I am. With or without you, I'll find her.

Robert Epps: You're going to get yourself killed Sam! Is that what you want? Is that what you want, you came all the way out here to get yourself killed? Listen to what I'm saying!

Sam Witwicky: She's here because of me, do you understand?

Robert Epps: Listen, if you go in this building, that's if she's still alive, there's no way you're going to be able to reach her!

Sam Witwicky: What do you suggest I do?

Robert Epps: It's over. I'm sorry, but it's over.

Optimus Prime: [shoots down the ship attacking Sam and Epps] We will kill them all! Your leaders will now understand: Decepticons will never leave your planet alone. And we needed them to believe we had gone. For today, in the name of freedom, we take the battle to them!

[other Autobots appear]

Sam Witwicky: I saw your ship blow up!

Roadbuster: The ship? We were never in the ship! We designed the damn thing, didn't we?

Leadfoot: We were hidden in the first booster rocket to seperate - splashed down back in the Atlantic, just as planned.

[spits]

Leadfoot: We ain't going nowhere!

Brains: Yeah, no one's exiling us!

Wheelie: The Autobots are staying right here. We're gonna help you win this war!

Sam Witwicky: [seeing Driller coming at them] No, no, NO! MOVE! WE GOTTA MOVE!

Robert Epps: Why do the Decepticons always get the good shit? We're about to be eaten, people!

Lennox: Epps! Epps, I've been looking for your ass! How you doing?

Robert Epps: Retirement is whack. Even worse, we can't get across the river to that building and the Autobots are upstairs surrounded.

Wheelie: We're in the heart of their ship. Lets give em a little ride.

Brains: Oh we gonna screw this ship up!

Dylan: Prisoners? You're keeping prisoners?

Soundwave: Yeesss...

Dylan: You need to teach them about respect! This was all business, but now it's all personal, do you understand me?

Soundwave: [laughs] I understand. No prisoners, only trophies!

Que: Bee, I think they're going to kill us!

Optimus Prime: Get down here, Sentinel!

Sentinel Prime: [draws his lance] Optimus, you forget your place!

[jumps down to meet Optimus]

Sentinel Prime: I bring you Cybertron, your home, and still you choose humanity!

Optimus Prime: You were the one who taught me freedom is everyone's right!

Sentinel Prime: I will retrigger that pillar!

Optimus Prime: Then you'll have to go through me!

Carly Spencer: I love you.

Sam Witwicky: I love you. You're the only thing I need in this world and I'll do anything to make it up to you. I promise.

Carly Spencer: I'm going to hold you to that. Just never let me go.

Sam Witwicky: Promise.

[Sentinel Prime attacks NEST base]

Charlotte Mearing: Sentinel, stop this! What's going on? What do you think you're doing?

Sentinel Prime: I am a Prime, I do not answer to the likes of you. Return what belongs to me!

[Optimus arrives at NEST]

Charlotte Mearing: Take a good look, Optimus! This is all your fault!

Leadfoot: Wreckers, kill it!

Roadbuster: This is going to hurt, a LOT!

[the Wreckers dismember a Decepticon]

Optimus Prime: I'm coming for you!

[flies through the Driller]

Que: This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!

Ironhide: Right.

[first lines]

Optimus Prime: We were once a peaceful race of intelligent mechanical beings. But then came the war between the Autobots, who fought for freedom and the Decepticons, who dreamt of tyranny. Overmatched and outnumbered, our defeat was all but certain. But in the wars final days, one Autobot ship escaped the battle. It was carrying a secret cargo, which would have changed our planet's fate. A desperate mission, our final hope...

[the Ark flies from Cybertron into space... and is gunned down]

Optimus Prime: A hope that vanished.

[last lines]

Optimus Prime: In any war, there are calms between the storms. There will be days when we lose faith, days when our allies turn against us. But the day will never come, that we forsake this planet and its people.

Optimus Prime: They're surrounding the city to make a fortress so that no one can see what their up to inside. Our only chance is the element of surprise.

Sam Witwicky: [looks at the Decepticon airship] I think I know where to look. So you can fly this thing, right?

[Bumblebee wiggles his fingers]

Sam Witwicky: What is that... What is that? What is that? So-so? So you so-so can fly this. That feels terrible.

Bumblebee: Uh-huh!

Megatron: The city is secured. The humans cannot stop us!

Sentinel Prime: As the afternoon falls, the rest of the pillars will reach their launch position.

Megatron: This is the victory I've promised you so many years ago where we rebuild Cybertron together.

Sentinel Prime: [grabs Megatron] I have deigned to work with you that our planet may survive! I will never work FOR you! And you'll be wise to remember the difference.

Brains: This is how you treat Autobots? We're on the same team.

Wheelie: Yeah, enjoy your next job at 7-Eleven, dickhead.

Brains: That's right.

Wheelie: A-hole.

Sentinel Prime: [fighting Optimus] Always the bravest of us, but you could never make the hard decisions!

[rips off Optimus' arm]

[Wheelie and Brains sabotage the Decepticon ship]

Wheelie: We had a nice run, Brains...

[Dino transforms in front of an Eastern patrol]

Dino: [draws his blades] On the ground, per favore. And stay there!

Lennox: [looking in the Driller's claw] Why was he after this?

Optimus Prime: It's impossible... This is an engine part, from a long lost Autobot ship.

[a mother discovers her daughter playing with a pink robot...]

Laserbeak: [transforms] Hello, mom!

Cosmonaut Dimitri: Americans were the first to walk on the moon. But the Russians were the first to take images...

[presents a set of photos]

Ironhide: Decepticon punk!

[sticks Crankcase's spear through his own head and kicks him into a building]

Ironhide: Class dismissed.

Sentinel Prime: Commencing transport.

[activates the pillars]

Optimus Prime: [arriving] Stop! No, no! NO, SENTINEL!

Megatron: Be gone, insect operatives! Your work is done!

Dylan: [bows] Your Excellency.

[Dylan takes Carly away]

Dylan: [out of Megatron's earshot] He's such a dick.

Wheelie: No, no, no! Don't leave us! You never leave a Bot behind.

Brains: Aw, Shockwave's coming!

[Both run]

Optimus Prime: Shockwave can't hunt us all at once... Wreckers, we need a diversion!

Roadbuster: Let's get some!

Leadfoot: You got that right!

Starscream: You can't hide, boy!

[Sam and Carly duck into a bus, Starscream shreds the top with his buzzsaw]

Starscream: I love it when your little insect feet try to run!

Sentinel Prime: [mercilessly beating Optimus Prime] We were gods once, all of us! But here...

Optimus Prime: Please...!

Sentinel Prime: ...there can only be ONE!

[raises his lance...]

Megatron: [attacks Sentinel from behind] This is MY planet!

[last words]

Starscream: [a boomstick stuck in his eye] I'm going to kick you. I am going to kill y...

[boomstick explodes, blowing up Starscream's head]

Dylan: Sam, do as I said, she won't be harmed, you have my word.

Sam Witwicky: I'll kill you, you have my word.

Carly Miller: They said... they were shipping resources, to rebuild their planet.

Dylan: Yes. But they need one resource in particular, one native to our planet.

Carly Miller: ...Us?

Dylan: You're very smart. You see, they can't rebuild without a slave labour force. How many rocks out there offer six billion workers?

Carly Miller: What are you talking about? We can't transport people!

Dylan: They're not shipping people. They're shipping their planet here!

Mailroom Worker: [fiddles with a printer] This is exceedingly Japanese. They never make it easy, do they...?

[Laserbeak transforms and hurls him into the wall]

Charlotte Mearing: I don't care who you are. If you breathe a word of what you see in here, you will do time for treason. Do you understand me?

Sam Witwicky: I'll take my orders from the Autobots. I know them. I don't know you.

Charlotte Mearing: You will.

Simmons: Well, well, well. Charlotte Mearing.

Charlotte Mearing: Agent Simmons. Former Agent Simmons. So I see you survived Washington.

Simmons: Washington, Egypt, heartbreak. I survive. I will survive.

Robert Epps: Where are Sam and Carly?

Eddie: Um...

Robert Epps: I give you one thing to do, one thing to do, and you drop the ball on that?

Eddie: I ain't signed up for all this! Got aliens blasting at me, running around, chasing me! I'm ducking through churches and buildings and all that kind of crap! This is bullshit! I ain't signed up for this, Epps. I'm trying to keep it together.

Brains: [watching Carly and Sam make out] Wow!

[snarls]

Brains: Get lucky!

Carly Miller: [shrieks] Get him out of here!

Brains: [is grabbed by Sam and is kicked] Wait. No, no, no, no!

Carly Miller: Oh, he's gross!

Brains: She's good.

Sam Witwicky: Sorry. They're stranded here. Somebody's got to watch out for them.

Carly Miller: Yesterday, that one was in my underwear drawer.

Brains: Did research! Looking real good too! Ha-ha-ha...

[Sam slaps him]

Brains: Ow! No need to hit me!

[as the Autobots leave in the starship Xanthium]

Sam Witwicky: You wanted an answer, you got it.

Dylan: I always get what I want, Sam. I just had to be sure.

Sam Witwicky: Sure of what?

Dylan: That they would go without a fight.

[signals Starscream, who blows up the Xanthium]

Dylan: We all work for the Decepticons now.

[during the Chicago massacre]

Carly Miller: I guess they didn't tell you about this part, did they?

Dylan: You think I'm at every meeting?... Look, I'm safe. They said I'm safe.

[the Autobots and NEST gather around to reawaken Sentinel Prime]

Lennox: [to Mearing] That's the Matrix of Leadership, the only thing in the Universe that can repower a Transformer's spark.

Optimus Prime: Let us begin... Sentinel Prime, we bid you return.

[drives the Matrix into Sentinel's chest, reviving him... Sentinel grabs Optimus in a deadlock]

Lennox: Hold your fire!

Optimus Prime: Stop! Sentinel, it is I, Optimus Prime!

Ironhide: You are home, Sentinel.

Ratchet: There is nothing to fear.

Soundwave: [grabs Que] You! Your time is up!

Que: Wait! We surrendered! We're your prisoners! Can't we talk this out? We're all a bunch of good chaps! We mean you no...

[Barricade shoots Que]

Que: What'd you do that for...?

[Soundwave shoots Que, killing him]

Bumblebee: Goodbye, my oldest friend.

[watching Star Trek]

Wheelie: Aw, shit, I seen this one. This the one where Spock goes nuts.

[feeding energon to his hatchlings]

Megatron: Oh, don't be greedy, my fragile ones...

Robert Epps: Bee, let's do this!

Roadbuster: Bring that pillar down!

[Bumblebee tackles the pillar]

[Wheelie and Brains end up in the Decepticon mothership]

Wheelie, Brains: Ohhh...

Brains: This is a total clusterf...

Simmons: [about Carly] She lives here? Wow!

[to Dutch]

Simmons: You had your chance to frisk her.

Dutch: I have a girlfriend.

Simmons: Really, what's her name?

Dutch: India...

Buzz Aldrin: Go ahead, Mr. President.

President Nixon: Hello, Neil and Buzz. I'm talking to you by telephone from the Oval Room at the White House. And this certainly has to be the most historic telephone call ever made. I just can't tell you how proud we all are of you. For every American, this has to be the proudest day of our lives. Because of what you have done...

Director of NASA: [Depicting the astronauts as they land on the water] We have splashdown.

President Nixon: ...the heavens have become a part of man's world. For one priceless moment in the whole history of man, all the people on this Earth are truly one. One in their pride for what you have done. It inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and tranquility to Earth.

Optimus Prime: The ship's name was the Ark. I watched it escape Cybertron myself. It was carrying an Autobot technology that would have won us the war. And its captain...

Charlotte Mearing: Who was its captain?

Optimus Prime: The great Sentinel Prime, the technology's inventor. He was commander of the Autobots before me. It's imperative that I find it before the Decepticons learn of its location. Our Autobot spacecraft has the ability to get there. And... you must pray it's in time.

Sentinel Prime: The war... the war?

Optimus Prime: The war was lost. Cybertron is but a barren wasteland. We have taken refuge here on planet Earth. Its human race is our ally.

Sideswipe: Autobots, attack!

Ratchet: Mortar that bridge!

Bob: What're you doing in my house?

Laserbeak: [shoots him] Just visiting.

Dylan: [Sam spits on him] They will slaughter her. Do you understand me? In the time it takes you to blink, they will do it to her, and then they will do it to me!

[hits Sam]

Sam Witwicky: It's funny. I was just thinking on the way over here, I could really use some advice from Dylan. And there he is.

[to Carly]

Sam Witwicky: Can I speak to you?

Dylan: Welcome. Please, sit down. Have a drink.

Sam Witwicky: You know what? I don't need a drink. Or a car or a job. I just need to speak to my girlfriend alone. Is that okay with you, Mr. Inappropriate?

Dylan: I really think I could help you, Sam. I remember a talk I had with my dad once about tough choices.

Sam Witwicky: Yeah, now's not the time. We'll set something up, though.

Dylan: Of course, that was way back when my dad's firm was in charge of budget review and accounting for NASA. You see, the thing that he taught me was, when it's not your war, you join the side that's going to win.

Dylan: You really think you're the first man ever asked to join the noble alien cause?

Sam Witwicky: Who are you?

Dylan: Do you know why we've not been back to the moon since 1972? Because these two... they came to my dad and they told him to do some creative accounting. Make it way too expensive to ever go back. So he and others shut down the American and Russian space programs, and they've been our clients ever since.

Sam Witwicky: You help them kill people?

Dylan: You think they'd give you a choice? Besides, it's not like I personally participated.

Judy Witwicky: [learning Sam and Carly broke up] Okay, you gotta read this. "She Comes First." There's some killer shit in this.

Sam Witwicky: No, no, no...

Ron Witwicky: Oh, that's it, I'm going...

Sam Witwicky: No, no. No, no.

Judy Witwicky: Sit down! Sit down! Back me up.

Ron Witwicky: Happy wife, happy life.

Judy Witwicky: Fuck, yeah.

Ron Witwicky: Unhappy wife, stone-cold misery for the rest of your...

Judy Witwicky: [hitting him] Stop it.

Ron Witwicky: It's true.

Judy Witwicky: All I'm saying is, do you love this girl?

Sam Witwicky: She's the one.

Judy Witwicky: Then you gotta go get her. I mean, your dad and I, when we had troubles, he... he moved heaven and earth to find me. Guess what he... say what you said. Say it.

Ron Witwicky: "I will follow you to the end of time." Does that suck or what? I mean, it's like a bad sci-fi film.

Judy Witwicky: No, it was sweet.

Carly Miller: You think I could sleep last night? And then it hit me: no, Sam wants to be in danger. He doesn't know who he is without it.

Sam Witwicky: I just want to matter.

Carly Miller: You matter to me.

Sam Witwicky: I know you're worried, but I promise you, I can... I can handle this.

Carly Miller: Can you? You can promise it?

Sam Witwicky: I promise.

Carly Miller: Sam, I don't want to lose you, and I know where this leads. I'm not ready for this. Are you coming with me?

Sam Witwicky: I can't.

Wheelie: Ah, this blows. That lady officially kicked us out.

Brains: Yeah. Witness protection program sucks.

Wheelie: Yeah, but we're a whole lot safer with Big Yellow and his cannons. 'Cause that dog can't protect crap.

Sam Witwicky: That woman, she called me a messenger. You believe that? After everything I've done, I'm a messenger.

Wheelie: Oh, I believe it. I tell you, Sammy, we feel the same way. The disrespect on this rock is criminal.

Charlotte Mearing: "Total Nightmare" file. So the investigation is open. We've sent agents to your office. And for the time being, we're gonna send you home with Autobot protection.

Sam Witwicky: Who-who do I need to speak to get you guys to understand that I can help? That I can contribute?

Brains: Hey, we can all help. Want me to tell you what I know? I could tell you about the solar system, all the gun planets to hang out in.

Charlotte Mearing: [taking out and putting her gun on the desk] Get off my desk, please.

Brains: Oh, you pulling out guns? I can't help you out now. She angry.

Charlotte Mearing: Oh, my god.

Sam Witwicky: What do you envision for me? I go home now? I go back to work? I make copies? I mean...

Charlotte Mearing: This is a unit for veteran intelligence officers and Special Forces, not for boys who once owned special cars.

Lennox: Director Mearing, this is Sam Witwicky, the civilian...

Charlotte Mearing: I know his name, Colonel. I want to know who gave him clearance.

Sam Witwicky: Who gave me clearance? How about Optimus Prime when he touched down in suburbia looking for my house?

Lennox: This is the National Intelligence Director, in case you...

Sam Witwicky: [awkwardly] Hi.

Charlotte Mearing: Disrespecting a federal officer? Huh. Maybe that'll get you somewhere. Who's she?

Sam Witwicky: She's my girlfriend.

Charlotte Mearing: What is this, like, a date?

Lennox: She knows all about the Autobots, okay? She knows Bumblebee. And she comes from a military family. I can vouch for her.

Sam Witwicky: Hey, I-I have an idea. How about we get back to the important topics, like the fact that I almost had my face cut off by a Decepticon? As a taxpayer, I'd like to lodge a complaint, a-as a matter of fact.

Sam Witwicky: [after meeting Dylan] Oh, here we go. Here we go. See that? Judgment. Judge a man by his car? And you're gonna wave at him while he's judging me?

Carly Miller: What's with you? He's my boss. This job pays for our food, our rent.

Sam Witwicky: No, I totally understand. I'm totally fine. I get it. I'm well-fed. And guess what? I'm not your boy toy anymore. I got my big-boy pants on. You see 'em?

[she laughs]

Sam Witwicky: In the car, Duchess.

Carly Miller: Oh, my god. Are you threatened by him?

Sam Witwicky: [fake, forced laugh] Threatened? What am I threatened by? His money? His power? His good looks? None of the above. Check!

Carly Miller: [sarcastic] God, your temper tantrums are so sexy.