Arnold: I don't want to hear what you have to say, because believe me, you don't want to hear what I have to say.
Ma: You haven't heard one word I've said!

Arnold: I KNOW YOU WOULD RATHER I WAS STRAIGHT, I'M NOT! Would you also rather I lie to you? My friend Ed, who'd never dream of telling his parents, instead he cut his parents out of his life. And they wonder 'why? Why is my child so distant?' Is that what you'd rather?

Ma: No. But it doesn't have to be on every conversation, either.

Arnold: You want to be a part of my life, I'm not editing out the things you don't like!
Ed: Care to talk about it?

Arnold: I am upset, I am uptight, I am up to my nipples in Southern Comfort, and you're trying to take advantage of me.

[He sprawls in Ed's lap]

Arnold: Fine!
Ma: After all, a problem is never as permanent as a solution!
Arnold: I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful. It's my biggest problem because I've never been young and beautiful. Oh, I've been beautiful, and God knows I've been young, but never the twain have met.
Arnold: A ugly person who goes after a pretty person gets nothing but trouble. But a pretty person who goes after a ugly person gets at least cab fare.
Arnold: A thing of beauty is a joy 'till sunrise.
Bertha: In order to be a real dame you've got to kneel before a queen!
Arnold: I know you'll find this hard to comprehend, but I want more out of life than meeting a pretty face and sitting down on it.

Murray: Graphically put!
Bertha: Personally, I never enjoy sex with someone I know.

Arnold: Our Lady of High Standards!
Ed: Oh, you are really draggin' me over the coals!

Arnold: Well why should I be the only one around here with a barbecued ass?
Ed: Why don't you ask Arnold? I'm sure he has lots to say on the subject.

Alan: He says you're a boring, self-centered, insensitive old fool who wouldn't know love if it wore wings, diaper, and shot heart-shaped arrows at your butt.
Laurel: Just because I said that's what I wanted doesn't mean that's what I wanted. I mean, it may be what I wanted, but that doesn't mean I'm necessarily ready for it.
Ma: Friend-friend, or euphemism-friend?

David: He used to be a euphemism, now he's just a friend.
Ed: Did anyone every tell you you have a really sexy voice? Is that natural or do you have a cold?
Arnold: At 13 I knew everything. Senility set in sometime after that.
Ed: Whoops.

Arnold: Whoops? Ed, did you say "whoops"? No, Ed. "Whoops" is when you fall down an elevator shaft. "Whoops" is when you skinny-dip in a school of piranha. "Whoops" is when you accidentally douche with Drano! No, Ed. This was no "whoops." This was an AAAAAAAAAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HA!
Ma: You want meaningful conversation? Do what I do, talk to yourself. It's the only way.
Ed: 'Casual'? We've known each other for nine years!

Arnold: Seven of which you spent with another woman.
Arnold: [to the unconscious Alan] If you have an I.Q. of over 30, then there is no God.
Alan: Why are all the mirrors covered?

Arnold: So we don't see the pain in our faces.

Alan: Why is everyone sitting on boxes?

Arnold: To make sure there's pain in our faces.

Ma: [in an undertone] You told me he was Jewish!

Arnold: Out-of-town Jewish.
Bertha Vanation: You have a high voice for a lesbian!
Bertha Vanation: Did your mother have any children that lived?
Bertha Vanation: Just wait until you see my act: Bertha Vanation and her Dance of the Virgin.

Murray: Which she does COMPLETELY from memory.

Bertha Vanation: Bitch!
Ed: I can't believe you're STILL mad.

Arnold: I ain't STILL mad... this here is BRAND NEW!
Arnold: Do you EVER think before you speak?

Alan: No. Why? Do you?

Arnold: Frequently. It helps to pass the time while you're speaking.
Ed: You know, I'm not sure the sex we had was always as good for me as it was for you. Sometimes it was a little wild, out of control.

Arnold: And that's... bad?

Ed: It's not what I want.

Arnold: Funny. It's what I pray for.
Arnold: What am I gonna do... with the beer can?
Arnold: Isn't that a kick in the rubber parts?
Alan: I have a question.

Arnold: The answer is yes.

Alan: You don't even know what I was going to ask.

Arnold: Whatever it is, the answer is yes. I'm too tired to argue.

Alan: ...Good. Because I love you, too.
Laurel: [attempting to make polite conversation] So, Arnold, Ed tells me you're a transsexual?
Bertha Vanation: I swear, that queen gives me gas!
Murray: [to Arnold, who has shut himself off from any intimate contact after the death of his lover] Alan died, honey - not you.
Arnold: Ma... I miss him.

Ma: Give yourself time, Arnold. It gets better... But, Arnold, it never goes away. You can work longer hours, adopt a son, fight with me, whatever... it'll still be there. But that's all right, it becomes a part of you, like learning to wear a ring or a pair of eyeglasses. You get used to it. And that's good. It's good, because it makes sure you don't forget. You don't want to forget him, do you?
Arnold: Let's get one thing straight first. A: I want children and B: if anyone asks: I'm the pretty one.
Arnold: [about his parents] It kills me to know that they look at me and all they can think is, "Where did we go wrong?"
Ma: Arnold, think about the boy. The way you live is bound to affect himmmmmm!

Arnold: Ma, David is gay!

Ma: He hasn't even been here a year!

Arnold: He came that way!

Ma: Nobody COMES that way!

Arnold: What an opening!
Bar Patron: Can I buy you a drink?

Arnold: Oh, fuck off!

Arnold: [later, after coming out of the back room] At least I don't have to cook him breakfast.
Arnold: There's one more thing you better understand. I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture - I can even pat myself on the back when necessary - all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life.
Arnold: It's easier to love someone who's dead. They make so few mistakes.
Arnold: You can't expect me to sit around all the time waiting for you to call.

Ed: Oh, I never asked you to. I told you to go out, have a good time, meet other people.

Arnold: I can't. I'm not built that way.

Ed: Well, I'm just not ready to make that kind of commitment.

Arnold: I'm not asking you to. But if I have to accept you going out, then you have to accept that I'm not.
Ma: You cheated me out of your life and then blamed me for not being there.
Arnold: [Ed's trying to make a case to get back together] Ed, do you remember why we broke up in the first place? Do you really think you can bring your friends here? Do you think you could introduce me to your parents as your lover, and David as our son? Ed, Angel, I just threw my mother, my mother! Out of the house, all she wanted was to not talk about it. Do you really think I'm gonna ask less from you?
Murray: Now if only that idiot Ed will settle down.

Arnold: You must be begging for a slap, Ed's the last thing I need right now.

Murray: Exactly my point. Ed is the last thing you need. You have everything else: looks, a career, money enough to keep your figure, and someone who depends on you. Now all you need is someone on whom you can depend.
Ed: I want another chance with you, Arnold.

[Arnold reacts]

Ed: Arnold, I'm forty years old. You know what that means? It's time for me to stop screwing around. This time I've spent with you and David is the closest thing to whatever it is I want.
Arnold: There's another group you need to watch your food stamps around: the hopeless. They break down into three major categories. Married, *just in for the weekend*, terminally straight. Those affairs are the worst! You go into a relationship with someone who's hopeless, knowing the limitations, and accepting them maturely. Then wham-bam you're burning black candles at midnight and writing letters to Dear Abby. And you ask yourself *what happened*?
Arnold: Try and imagine the world the other way around. Imagine every book, every magazine, every TV show, every movie was telling you you should be homosexual. You know you're not, but...

Ma: Stop already, you're talking crazy.

Arnold: You wanna know what's crazy? After all these years I'm still sitting here trying to justify my life. THIS is crazy!
Arnold: [Approaching his mother's bedroom] Round two.

Torch Song Trilogy Quotes

Extended Reading

Torch Song Trilogy short comments

Asha 2022-04-21 09:03:17

The first half is a queer movie, and the second half is a family movie, and the connection is not bad. The mother-son rivalry scene at the end has obvious traces of stage play, but it is also the most touching passage in the film: "Your husband died in a clean hospital, but my lover was beaten to death in a dirty street, A bunch of people who think like you — queer people don’t deserve love.”
Moshe 2022-04-22 07:01:49

very good! Love & Respect ~