To Live and Die in L.A. Quotes

Ruth Lanier: How much do I get for the information I gave you on Waxman?

Richard Chance: No arrest, no money.

Ruth Lanier: It's my fault he's dead? It took me six months to get next to him. I got expenses, you know.

Richard Chance: Guess what? Uncle Sam don't give a shit about your expenses. You want bread, fuck a baker.

Credit Card Counterfeiter: Why are you chasing me?

John Vukovich: Why you running?

Credit Card Counterfeiter: 'Cause you're chasing me, man!

Eric 'Rick' Masters: How you making it?

Carl Cody: Like every other swinging dick in this place makes it. Day by motherfucking day.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: You have my word you won't have to do the whole nickel.

Carl Cody: What does that mean?

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Grimes is the best lawyer in the state. It'll either be an appeal bond or a sentence reduction.

Carl Cody: And the check is in the mail, and I love you, and I promise not to come in your mouth...

Richard Chance: I wanna get Rick Masters.

Carl Cody: I've taken four falls, I've never ratted anybody in my life, and I've had plenty of chances, believe me.

Richard Chance: Masters is your friend. I don't blame you, I would never hang up a friend. Anybody who would is a piece of shit. Thing is, your friend tried to have you iced.

Carl Cody: That doesn't mean I'm gonna roll over and play informer. If you're looking for a pigeon, go to the park.

[Masters enters his fancy car]

Jeff Rice: You still driving that piece of shit?

[Jim has been shot]

Jim Hart: Shitbag.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Buddy, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Terrorist: I'm ready to die!

Richard Chance: Nobody's gonna die. Look, you and I are gonna go downstairs and talk.

Terrorist: Death to Israel and America, and all the enemies of Islam!

Eric 'Rick' Masters: First you rip me off, then you set up Carl, now you want to fuck my lady?

Max Waxman: Oh, man. She came on to me, man. I swear it.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Oh, what a tragedy. I want my 600K.

Max Waxman: I didn't have anything to do with getting Cody set up...

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Do you know that your house is under surveillance? Do you know you're living like a fuckin' animal in the zoo?

[Vukovich has been given details about the prospect of testifying in court]

John Vukovich: But you can't get involved, right?

Bob Grimes: Not directly.

John Vukovich: What would it cost for your indirect involvement.

Bob Grimes: $50,000.

[pause]

Bob Grimes: I know it's a tough call, but it's one you're going to have to make rather quickly.

John Vukovich: I can't hand out my partner. I can't do it, even if I have to go to the joint.

Richard Chance: If I was one of your asshole cronies, you'd be spread-eagled on your desk to do this for me!

Judge Filo Cedillo: Don't say something you'll regret later.

Bob Grimes: I don't have a lot of time. I'm in the middle of a trial.

John Vukovich: What kind of trial?

Bob Grimes: It's a dope case. Client got busted smuggling fifty pounds of cocaine. I should be able to get him off, though. Seach warrant's weak.

John Vukovich: Weak?

Bob Grimes: Color of the house is listed as brown in the warrant, when in fact it's beige and yellow.

John Vukovich: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Bob Grimes: I don't make any apologies for being an attorney. If I didn't accept the case, somebody else would, without a doubt. Without a doubt.

[Richard Chance gets the judge's authorization to hold Carl Cody]

Judge Filo Cedillo: If this prisoner escapes from custody, I'll make you testify in open court about how he made a fool out of you.

Bianca Torres: I love the rain.

Max Waxman: Yeah, it's groovy.

Ruth Lanier: What would happen if I stopped giving you information on Masters?

Richard Chance: Why?

Ruth Lanier: I'm just curious.

[pause]

Richard Chance: I'd have your parole revoked.

Richard Chance: You know what this is?

Thomas Ling: What's the game?

Richard Chance: It's no game. Just walk.

Thomas Ling: Why?

Richard Chance: Why? Because if you don't, I'll blow your fucking heart out.

Richard Chance: Can I talk to you for a minute?

Thomas Bateman: You must be a mind-reader. I was just going to call you. I have decided to let Vukovich work with you.

Richard Chance: Do I have a choice?

Thomas Bateman: Oh, is there someone else you'd prefer? You're welcome to fill out a Form 19, and list all the reasons you'd rather not work with him. Your info would be strictly confidential.

[Richard Chance is looking at the journal he took from Max Waxman's residence]

John Vukovich: It's a crime scene, buddy. The book is evidence. What if the cop remembers it's missing?

Richard Chance: Shit. The rookie couldn't remember what he saw. He wasn't in there long enough.

Jeff Rice: Next time, there'll be no fuck-up.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: What next time?

John Vukovich: We got an FBI agent killed. You hear that?

Richard Chance: What do you want me to do about it, John?

John Vukovich: It's just a matter of time before they fuckin' identify us. They got a good look at us.

Richard Chance: A face is bullshit without a name.

John Vukovich: They got a make on the car!

Richard Chance: Look, they would have sent it out over the teletype if they had anything. They're grabbing at shit.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: A 19th Century Cameroon, yes? Your taste is in your ass!

[shoots Waxman in the face]

[last lines]

John Vukovich: [to Ruth] You're working for me now.

Richard Chance: Where's the key?

Thomas Ling: I don't have it.

Richard Chance: He doesn't have it. What a guy!

Jeff Rice: Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Hello Jeff.

Jeff Rice: What are you doing in my crib.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: You sent two assholes to do Cody and they blew it. I paid you half, I want it back.

Jeff Rice: Yeah, well uh... I'm trying to get that money back myself. I had to front the whole purchase to get my people to do their thing. So I ain't got any more.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Well, then uh... you better try and shit 40 grand, because I ain't leaving without it.

Jeff Rice: I owe you Cody. Next time there be no fuck-up.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: What next time? He's in protective custody.

Jeff Rice: Hell, protective custody don't mean shit to me! The man's dead.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: In a pig's ass!

Eric 'Rick' Masters: I want my paper, Jeff. I can't afford to have it circulating right now.

Jeff Rice: I told you I don't have it.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: Get it.

Jeff Rice: Now look, my man. I told you I don't have what you're lokking for, So why don't you make it easy on yourself...

[draws a knife on Masters]

Jeff Rice: and just shag your ass out of my crib! Now you be a printer! Go get some ink, ant start printin' some more of that shit!

Richard Chance: Who are they?

Bianca Torres: Who are you?

Eric 'Rick' Masters: This is Mr. Jessup, whose name isn't really Jessup, wo says he's from Palm Springs but doesn't have a tan. You're not wired, are you?

Ruth Lanier: I was reading about the stars. Talked about how the stars are the eyes of god. I think it's true, don't you?

Richard Chance: No, I don't.

Carl Cody: Hey, what shit they're showing tonight?

Inmate Ruben: It's that galactical warrior movie.

Carl Cody: I hate that space shit, man!

Inmate Ruben: Nothing but science fiction, man.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: I've got a friend in Palm Springs, Lenne Green. He owns the Oasis. Do you know him?

Richard Chance: I got a friend in Hollywood, Donald Duck. You know him?

John Vukovich: So now you want to commit a robbery?

Richard Chance: I wouldn't call it that.

John Vukovich: What would you call it?

Richard Chance: Taking down a douche bag who's trying to break the law.

Eric 'Rick' Masters: [to Chance, who's posing as "Mr. Jessup"] Like your work!

[laughs]