Thelma & Louise Quotes

J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean, God gives you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.

Thelma: Well, Darryl, that's my husband...

J.D.: Darryl?

Thelma: Yeah. He says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.

Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.

Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.

Louise: That's putting it mildly.

Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.

Louise: I know he's a pig.

Thelma: Hey Louise, better slow down. I'd just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket.

Louise: You know, for the first time in my life I wish this car wasn't green.

Thelma: Are you sure we should be driving like this? I mean, in broad daylight and everything?

Louise: No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and

[shouts]

Louise: the scene of our last goddamn crime!

[they both laugh and scream with joy]

Thelma: Oh, man! You wouldn't have believed it. It was like I'd been doin' it all my life. I mean, nobody would believe it.

Louise: Think you found your callin'?

Thelma: Maybe. Maybe. The call of the wild!

[gets up in her seat as both scream and laugh]

Louise: You are disturbed!

Thelma: Yeah, I believe I am.

Louise: Besides, what're we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that. There's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Thelma: All right, Louise!

[sees a white cowboy hat in the backseat]

Thelma: Where'd you get this?

Louise: Stole it.

Max: You know, the one thing I can't figure out is whether these girls are real smart or just real, real lucky?

Hal: Don't matter. Brains'll only get you so far and luck always runs out.

Thelma: You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?

J.D.: Well, I may be an outlaw, darlin', but, uh, you're the one stealin' my heart.

Louise: [as Harlan is starting to rape Thelma, Louise puts a gun to the back of his head] You let her go, you fuckin' asshole, or I'm gonna splatter your ugly face all over this nice car!

Harlan: [letting Thelma go, as Louise presses the gun harder into his neck] All right, hey, hey, hey, just calm down. We were just having a little fun, that's all.

Louise: Looks like you got a real fucked-up idea of fun.

[the two women back away several steps]

Louise: Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!

Harlan: [the women turn and walk away] Bitch! I shoulda gone ahead and fucked her!

Louise: What did you say?

Harlan: I said suck my cock.

Louise: [Louise shoots him]

Thelma: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Louise: Get the car.

Thelma: Oh, Jesus Christ. Louise, you shot him. Oh, my God.

Louise: Get the car.

Louise: [looking down at Harlan, in a soft but angry voice] You watch your mouth, buddy!

Louise: [talking about their cabin vacation in the mountains later in the day] You mean you haven't asked him, yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake! Is he your husband or your father? It is just two days, for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're going with me.

[grins mischieviously]

Louise: Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Thelma: That don't carry much weight with Darryl. He already thinks you're out of your mind.

Darryl: [answers phone again] Yep?

Louise: Darryl, this is Louise. Let me talk to the police.

Darryl: Hey Louise!

Louise: [sour tone of voice] Hi. Let me talk to the police.

Darryl: [stuttering] What do you mean? There's no police here.

[Hal and Max both scoff and roll their eyes]

Thelma: [shouting wildly as she runs back to the car] Driiive, Louise! Drive! Drive the car! Come on. Go! Go! Go go go go go!

Louise: What happened?

[Thelma holds up money]

Louise: You robbed the store? You robbed the goddamn store?

Thelma: Well, we needed the money.

Louise: Oh!

Thelma: It's not like I killed anybody, for God's sake!

Louise: Thelma!

Thelma: I'm sorry, we needed the money, now we have it.

Louise: Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit, Thelma!

Thelma: Louise. Louise.

Louise: Oh, shit!

Thelma: Come on, get a grip. Drive us to goddamn Mexico, will you?

Louise: Okay. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Well, how... How'd you... I mean, what'd you say?

Thelma: Well, I just waltzed on in there and I said...

[cut to surveillance video of Thelma robbing the store as watched by Hal, Max, and Darryl]

Thelma: But, umm, I don't know, you know, something's, like, crossed over in me... and I can't go back. I mean, I just couldn't live.

Louise: I know. I know what you mean. Anyway, we don't wanna end up on the damn Geraldo show.

[last lines]

[with a cliff in front of them and cops behind them]

Thelma: OK, then, listen. Let's not get caught.

Louise: What are you talkin' about?

Thelma: Let's keep goin'!

Louise: What d'you mean?

Thelma: Go.

[Thelma nods ahead of them]

Louise: You sure?

Thelma: Yeah. Yeah.

[they hug and kiss, then Louise steps on the gas; Arkansas State Police Investigator Hal Slocumb starts to chase their car on foot]

Max: Hey!

Louise: Thelma, listen up, now. If you even think he knows, I mean, even if you're not sure, I want you to hang up, you understand?

Thelma: [dials the number]

Darryl: [exchanges looks with police, then answers phone] Hello.

Thelma: Darryl, it's me.

Darryl: [with forced cheer] Thelma, hello!

Thelma: [hangs up] He knows.

Thelma: I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this shit.

Louise: I believe you do.

[about the money]

Jimmy: It's a place called the Vagabond Motel. It's at 1921 North East 23rd. It's under "Peaches".

Louise: What?

Jimmy: That's the code word. I miss you, Peaches.

Jimmy: Did I hear somebody say "Peaches"?

Louise: Oh my God. Jimmy.

Jimmy: That's the secret word. Show the lady what she's won, Don.

Jimmy: I want to give you something.

Louise: Give it to me here.

[Jimmy pulls out an engagement ring]

Jimmy: Why don't you try it on? You didn't see that one coming, did you?

Louise: Why, Jimmy? Why now?

Jimmy: Try not to get too excited, Louise. I just flew across two states with that ring in my fuckin' hand, and uh... You know I hate to fly.

Louise: You remember when we first met?

Jimmy: Yeah.

Louise: What happened? Tell me what you said.

Jimmy: I said you had a nice pair of eyes.

Louise: And what did I say? Do you remember?

Jimmy: Yeah, you shut 'em. Asked me if I knew what color they were.

Louise: And what'd you say?

Jimmy: I didn't know.

Louise: [she covers his eyes] Jimmy, what color are my eyes?

Jimmy: They're brown.

State Trooper: [sobbing] Please! I have a wife and kids. Please!

Thelma: You do? Well, you're lucky. You be sweet to 'em, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out.

Thelma: Louise, shoot the radio.

Louise: Right.

[she fires at the AM/FM radio]

Thelma: The *police* radio, Louise!

Louise: Damn, Jimmy. What'd you do, take some kinda pill that makes you say all the right stuff?

Jimmy: Yeah. I'm chokin' on it.

Thelma: [seen on surveillance video of Thelma robbing the store as watched by Hal, Max, and Darryl] Good mornin' ladies and gentlemen. This is a robbery. Now, if nobody loses their head, nobody will lose their head. Simon says y'all lie down on the floor, please, right away. Thank you. Ma'am, would you get down? Not you, sir. Let's see who'll win a prize for keepin' their cool. Sir, will you do the honors? Take all the cash out of the drawer, put it in a paper bag.

Store clerk: Yes ma'am.

Thelma: You're gonna have an amazing story to tell your friends. If not, you'll have a tag on your toe. You decide. Hurry up. Let's go. Ma'am, would you be quiet? Sir, get down, please. Thank you. Just stay there. Just get real comfortable. Hey, uh, throw in some bottles of Wild Turkey, too, will you?

Store clerk: Yes ma'am.

Thelma: Thank you. Now, you get down, too.

Store clerk: Yes ma'am.

Thelma: Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you all for your cooperation. Now, stay down on the floor 'til I'm gone and have a good day.

Louise: I think I fucked up. I think I got us in a situation where we both could get killed. Damn, I don't know why I just didn't go to the police right away.

Thelma: You know why. You already said.

Louise: What'd I say again?

Thelma: Nobody'd believe us. We'd still get in trouble, we'd still have our lives ruined. You know what else?

Louise: What?

Thelma: That guy was hurting me. If you hadn't come out when you did, he would've hurt me a lot worse. And probably nothing would've happened to him 'cause everybody did see me dancin' with him all night. They would've made out like I'd asked for it. My life would've been ruined a whole lot worse than it is now. At least now I'm havin' some fun. And I'm not sorry that son of a bitch is dead. I'm just sorry it was you that did it and not me.

Thelma: You awake?

Louise: Guess you could call it that, my eyes are open.

Thelma: Me too. I feel awake!

Louise: Good.

Thelma: Wide awake. I don't remember ever feeling this awake. You know what I mean? Everything looks different. You feel like that, too, like you got something to look forward to?

Louise: We'll be drinking margaritas by the sea, mamacita.

Thelma: Hey, we could change our names.

Louise: We could live in a hacienda.

Thelma: I gonna get a job. I'm gonna work at Club Med.

Louise: Yeah. Now what kind of deal is that cop gonna have to come up with to beat that?

Thelma: Have to be pretty good.

Louise: Have to be pretty damn good.

Thelma: [Louise tells her the police probably tapped Darryl's phone] Tapped the phones? What're you talking about?

Louise: Come on, Thelma, Murder One and Armed Robbery.

Thelma: Murder One? We can't even say it was self defense?

Louise: Well, it wasn't. We were walkin' away. We got away.

Thelma: Yeah, but they don't know that. It was just you and me there. I'll say he raped me and you had to shoot him. That's almost the truth.

Louise: Won't work.

Thelma: Why not?

Louise: There's no physical evidence. We can't prove he did it. We can't even probably prove by now that he touched you.

Thelma: God. The law is some tricky shit, isn't it? Hey, how do you know about all this stuff, anyway?

Louise: Besides, what're we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that. There's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Thelma: All right, Louise!

[sees a white cowboy hat in the backseat]

Thelma: Where'd you get this?

Louise: Stole it.

Thelma: I had a suggestion that we go to the police, but you didn't like that, so frankly, Louise, I'm out of ideas.

Louise: Well, what's the big rush, Thelma? I mean, if we give 'em enough time, they'll come to us.

Louise: Tell him you're having a wonderful time and you'll be home tomorrow night.

Thelma: Will I be?

Louise: I don't know. I won't.

Thelma: [stopping suddenly at the edge of a cliff] What in the hell is this?

Louise: I don't know. I think... I think it's the goddamn Grand Canyon.

Thelma: Isn't it beautiful?

Louise: Yeah. It's something else, all right.

Thelma: [to Louise] I told you to slow down. Officer, I told her to slow down.

Louise: She did.

[gives the state trooper her license]

Louise: How fast was I goin'?

State Trooper: About 110.

Louise: Oh.

Louise: [bringing two pots of coffee to a table] Decaf or regular?

Louise: Uh, regular.

Louise: You girls are kind of young to be smoking, don't ya think?

[girls roll their eyes]

Louise: Ruins your sex drive.

[cut to Louise smoking in the back room]

[the ladies are just starting off on their road trip. Thelma lifts out Darryl's pistol]

Thelma: Oh, Louise, umm, will you take care of this gun?

Louise: What in hell did you bring that for?

Thelma: Oh, come on! Psycho killers, or bears or snakes? I just don't know how to use it. Will you take care of it?

Louise: Put it away! Just, here, put it in my purse. Thelma, good lord!

Louise: [a little way into their driving trip, Louise is smoking, Thelma takes one of Louise's cigarettes and mimes smoking it, to her reflection in the side mirror. Louise looks over and grins] Thelma, what are you doin'?

Thelma: Smokin'. Hey, I'm Louise.

[they've just discovered that J.D. has stolen all of Louise's money]

Thelma: Oh! Oh, goddamn it! I don't believe it. I've never been lucky! Not one time! Shit! That son of a bitch burned me. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Louise? You okay? Louise. I'm sorry, I mean it.

Thelma: [Louise has her wrists over her face as Thelma kneels down to face her] Louise, it's okay. It's okay.

Louise: [Louise lifts her tear-streamed face] No, Thelma, it's not okay! It's definitely not okay. None of this is okay! I mean, what are we gonna do for money, huh? How we gonna get gas? I mean, trade on our good looks? I mean...

[she starts sobbing]

Louise: oh, goddamn it, Thelma, it's not okay!

Thelma: Wait. What? You wanna go to Mexico from Oklahoma, but you don't wanna go through Texas?

Louise: Thelma, you know how I feel about Texas! We're not going that way!

Thelma: Yeah, I know, Louise, but we're running for our lives. I mean, can't you make an exception? I mean, look at the map! The only thing between Oklahoma and Mexico is Texas! Look.

Louise: What did Darryl have to say?

Thelma: Oh, he said,

[in a mocking tone of voice]

Thelma: "Okay, Thelma, I just wanted to make sure you was all right. I sure hope you're havin' fun. You deserve it after all you've put up with me. I love you, honey."

[she swigs from a mini-bottle of bourbon]

Thelma: So, how long before we're in goddamn Mexico?

[realizing that Thelma has committed to journeying with her, Louise grins]

[they are being pursued by about a dozen police cars]

Thelma: I guess everything from here on in is going to be pretty shitty.

Louise: Unbearable, I'd imagine.

Thelma: Well, look, everything that we got to lose is gone anyway!

Louise: Oh, God, how do you stay so positive?

Thelma: I guess I always thought the worst thing that could happen would be to end up old and alone in some crummy apartment with one of those little dogs.

Louise: What little dogs?

Thelma: You know those little dogs you see people with?

Louise: Like a Chihuahua?

Thelma: Those, too, but you know those little hairy ones? Those flat-faced little fuckers with those ugly goddamned teeth?

Louise: Oh yeah. You mean Peek-a-boos?

Thelma: Yeah. Those. That always put the fear of God in me. What about you? .

[seeing Darryl across the room]

J.D.: Hey, who's that?

Hal: That's Ms. Dickinson's husband.

J.D.: Well, shit twice and fall back in.

J.D.: Hey.

Darryl: What?

J.D.: [tauntingly] I *liked* your wife.

[does a mock sexual body thrust in front of Darryl]

Darryl: [livid] *YOU MOTHERFUCKIN'......!*

[charges at Darryl but gets restrained by the police]