Steve: Do you ever think about that night at the park?

Mary: What?

Steve: I barely know you. I don't know your dad's first name, I don't know if you ever wore braces, or contacts, or glasses and I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. I know that the night at the park was the best time I've ever had. Pl-please say something.

Mary: I'm a magnet for unavailable men, and I'm sick of it. It's simple, I love Fran, I respect her, and she loves you. So besides your tux measurements, that's all I need to know. Please go away.
Salvatore: But Massimo said you announced your engagement.

Mary: I never said that.

Burt: See, I told you Miss Mo was full of crap.

Salvatore: Not Miss Mo. Massimo. Massimo.
Massimo: Love can't always be perfect. Love is just love.
Massimo: You long for him the way I long for you
Massimo: Mary, I know I never done the right thing, say the right thing. I know I act like a fool. I know say we'd be buddy-buddy friends, but that would not be true to my heart so I'll ask this one question, and if you answer "no" I'll leave you alone once and for all. Be my wife, Mary Fiore. If you answer yes I'll take care of you, be true to you, and like this house I built for your dolls, I'll make sure you have a strong roof over your head. If you answer yes than no one will love you as much as I love you. If you answer yes than you will make me the happiest man on earth.
Mary: You smell like sweet red plums and grilled chesse sandwiches.
Steve: Why did Steve go to the movies with you? Well, first of all, Steve likes the movies. Steve had the night off. Steve said, 'Hey, a movie sounds good,' plus he got an invitation.

Mary: Why is Steve referring to himself in the third person?

Steve: What are you talking about?
Mary: Where's Fran?

Steve: She's in Tahiti, on our honeymoon.
Mary: Y'know, "those who can't do, teach"? Well those who can't wed, plan.
Mary: [to Eddie after he rescues her from the runaway dumpster] You saved... my shoe. I mean, my life.
Steve: Why you only eating the brown ones?

Mary: Because someone once said they have less artificial colouring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me.

Steve: You kind of stayed with me.
Mrs. Kitty Donolly: Well, somebody stole my lucky mike. I can't sing without my lucky mike.

[Mary winks at Fran]
Mary: I can treat that jackass like any other faceless groom! And that's just what I'm gonna do! Why? Because he's nothing... because I love a challenge! And because I am a goddamn professional!
Mary: [after picking up the statue, looks to the ground] You castrated him!
Mary: Oh my God, you castrated him!
Steve: Fran is great. But... what if what I think is great really is great, but not as great as something greater?
Steve: [while taking dance lessons] If you're thinking what I'm thinking...

Mary: What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers!
Burt: [Mary asks Steve to dance and Steve says no] A girl asks you to dance, you dance
Burt: A girl asks you to dance: you dance.
Steve: [taking off Mary's neck brace] Woah, you've got a big neck.

Mary: I have a big neck?

Steve: No, don't get me wrong it's a fine neck, it's just that i haven't had a patient over the age of 6 in the past 5 years.
Penny: Oh no, darnit... I just remembered that I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her change her fax cartridge because she's going out of town tomorrow... on an African safari.
Massimo: [to Steve] Look, planning a wedding isn't for men. We stick together and do the manly bonding.
Salvatore: [during Mary's marriage ceremony to Massimo, he objects] No. No!

Dottie: Oh, thank God!

Burt: Oh, hell, I object too!
Geri: Uh uh, Pierre, I love you but if you use another carnation in my bouquet I *will* deport you, mk? Muah.
[about Massimo]

Mary: For an entire summer he followed me around asking me if I had a vagina!

Penny: [pause] I think that's adorable!
Best Man: May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, enough friends to give you comfort, enough determination to make each day a better day then yesterday. Congratulations, guys, I love you both. WOO!

The Wedding Planner Quotes

Extended Reading

The Wedding Planner short comments

Daija 2022-03-24 09:01:55

Perfect for drinking Coke and watching movies while eating potato chips. Knowing the ending from the beginning, just to get rid of the "little three" argument and let the bride "voluntarily" cancel the wedding, it is a bit of a joke or even uncomfortable.
Tamara 2022-04-23 07:02:12

love love love this movie! so funny and romantic. Love Matthew and Jennifer's performance