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Stephanie: Know what your problem is, Shapiro? It's that you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness, ya know?
Luke Shapiro: I do?
Stephanie: All you have to do is look at me. And kiss me.
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Stephanie: You're a virgin?
Luke Shapiro: No. Naw. I just haven't officially had sex yet.
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Luke Shapiro: Do me a favor, Steph?
Stephanie: Huh?
Luke Shapiro: Don't say nothin, ok? Just stand there til I leave. I wanna remember this. I've never done it before.
Stephanie: Never done what?
Luke Shapiro: Had my heart broken.
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Dr. Squires: Don't touch my daughter.
Stephanie, Luke Shapiro: Stepdaughter!
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Dr. Squires: Sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing, and right now is one of those times.
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Dr. Squires: The city's a disaster, Luke. Its not like it used to be. It's plastic. One big fucking happy meal.
Luke Shapiro: Some people like happy meals.
Dr. Squires: Some people like the Yankees too, Luke. It doesn't mean they're right.
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Luke Shapiro: I got mad love for you shorty. That's on the real.
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Luke Shapiro: [on the phone] Peace out, forever!
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Luke Shapiro: So that was all bullshit right? All that stuff about embracing your pain, making it a part of you? You can't do this, you can't just give up. Life is hard and it's full of pain and what-not, but we take it cause there's great stuff too. And we can do it cause we have friends- because we have each other.
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Luke Shapiro: [asking his mom for a cigarette] Got another?
Mrs. Shapiro: You smoke?
Luke Shapiro: Everything.
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Dr. Squires: He doesn't appreciate you.
Elanor: How do you know that?
Dr. Squires: He couldn't possibly.
Elanor: That's a compliment, right?
Dr. Squires: [touches brim of hat] Ma'am.
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Stephanie: It doesn't matter.
Luke Shapiro: Doesn't matter? Why not?
Stephanie: Because how could anything possibly matter right now?
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Luke Shapiro: There's enough assholes in the world, Dr. Squires, don't be another one.
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Dr. Squires: Certain people you just can't trust, you know Luke?
Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan.
Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach.
Dr. Squires: Never, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs!
Dr. Squires: You meet someone who doesn't like dogs you alert the authorities IMMEDIATELY and you sure as SHIT don't MARRY THEM!
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Dr. Squires: Young men need sex, Luke. All men, actually... I- I can get you a hooker if you like.
Luke Shapiro: God, I was *this* close to respecting you.
Dr. Squires: Big mistake, Luke. Call your girl. You don't need medication, Luke. You just need to get laid.
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Dr. Squires: What're you in here for?
Prisoner: I stabbed my wife in the pussy.
Dr. Squires: Oh! Wow!
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Dr. Squires: It used to be you could lick a sheet of acid, hold up a band, fuck a whore in Times Square without anyone batting an eyelash. Now, one blunt, we're in the clink. This whole city's fucked!
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Dr. Squires: It's great, living. Get your heart broken, find yourself face down in the gutter, get your balls sucked, make a real mess of a life.
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Grandma Shapiro: Luke, have you had any more thoughts about what you're gonna be as far as a profession goes?
Mr. Shapiro: Mom, he's got time.
Grandma Shapiro: I'm just asking!
Luke Shapiro: Actually, I'm thinking about becoming a shrink.
Grandpa Shapiro: Psychology! It's not quite the shoe business, but it's a very interesting field.
Luke Shapiro: I figure I'm an expert because everyone around me is so fucking crazy, you know?
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Luke Shapiro: In June I graduate. And then I go to my safety school. And then I get a little older. And then I die.
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Dr. Squires: Life has a funny way of turning you into the one thing you don't want to be.
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Dr. Squires: The ocean. This is all I need, Luke. Forget the city. The city is wrong. I just want to wrap myself in the ocean.
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Dr. Squires: Don't jump for the quick fix. This whole fucking city wants a quick fix. Embrace your pain. Make it a part of you. You don't want to be like them. I don't want you to be like them.
The Wackness Quotes
Extended Reading
