-
Stewart: It's a joke. You can take it.
-
Jason: [Gunnar is lying on the ground with an iron bar buried in his forhead] He looks like a fucking giant ice lolly!
-
Leon: [only word he says] No.
-
Priest: Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?
Leon: [looks up from his newspaper] No.
Audience: [groans]
-
Jason: Game over, fucking shitface!
-
Saki: Ey Sten, why are your sheets wet?
-
[singing]
Jason: I can't believe I've never seen/I can, like, not understand it/this is the first fucking time I see you
[oooh oooh]
Jason: /you're an awesome way to pass the time/yeah, you're the bitch in my life/like lightning, what's wrong with me?
[woooh oooh oooh]
Jason: I think I've been blind until today/when you suddenly looked at me and said/Fuck off and die - you're too ugly for me, and your mother goes for $100/you said it straight to my face/
[woooh ooh]
Jason: what do you want?/babe, I'm standing here like a nerd in a cloud of confusion/I want to be in your space/it feels so fucking wild/think of all the time I've wasted/you're all I want, I think I've been converted
[ooh ooh]
Jason: /and suddenly here I stand/now I can see how fine you are/and I'll get really pissed if you have a boyfriend
[oooh oooh oooh]
Jason: /I can only hope that you will be my girl/ and you are motherfucking fresh on it, who came and said to me/Fuck off and die - you're too ugly for me, and your mother goes for $100/you said it straight to my face/
[woooh ooh]
Jason: what do you want?/babe, I'm standing here like a nerd in a cloud of confusion/I want to be in your space/Fuck off and die - you're too ugly for me, and your mother goes for $100/you said it straight to my face/
[woooh ooh]
Jason: what do you want?/babe, I'm standing here like a nerd in a cloud of confusion/I want to be in your space...
-
[after Doris has jumped out of a fourth story window]
Caretaker: Thank god that fat cow didn't land on anyone!
-
Jason: Are you lame or something? I don't have the fucking energy to explain it. You never know when you need a good windpipe!
-
[about Gunnar, the new teacher]
Jason: He was more than a little fucked up, wasn't he?
-
Sigge: When I was looking through my uncle's music lexicon I stumbled upon a certain word I had never heard before - "funky" - what does it mean?
-
Saki: Ey Torkel, what was it that you called fat Doris yesterday?
Terkel: Er... fat cow?
Saki: Oh right! Haha! Fucking awesome!
-
Terkel: My teacher got run over by a bus...
Terkel's Mum: Well, you've had a full week then!
-
Terkel's Mum: Torkel, you're not on the ramp are you?
Terkel: No, mum, I...
Terkel's Mum: Well if you are then come home this instant! You know wet wood spreads SARS!
-
Stewart: Surpise motherfucker!
-
Terkel: [on the phone, after Stewart's long song about all the childen he has helped out, nearly crying] But can't I just get a little bit of help?
Stewart: That's right Terkel, that's just what you're going to say if your weenie suddenly catches on fire one day...
Terkel: But...
Stewart: ...So long, and tell your dad I'll drop in and crush his face in a few days.
The Trouble with Terkel Quotes
Extended Reading
