The Tourist Quotes

Frank Taylor: Fuck! You're ravenous.

Elise: Do you mean 'ravishing'?

Frank Taylor: I do.

Elise: You're ravenous.

Frank Taylor: I am

Elise: I'm sorry I got you involved in all this.

Frank Taylor: Why are you involved?

Italian policeman 2: You wish to report a murder.

Frank Taylor: Attempted murder.

Italian policeman 2: That's not so serious.

Frank Taylor: Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.

[last lines]

Elise: [on a boat with Frank/Alexander] 20 million dollars worth of plastic surgery... and that's the face you choose.

Frank Taylor: You don't like it?

Elise: It will do.

Hotel Waiter Guido: Bongiorno!

Frank Taylor: Bon Jovi!

Elise: Invite me to dinner, Frank?

Frank Taylor: What?

[Elise gives Frank a look]

Frank Taylor: Would you like to have dinner?

Elise: Women don't like questions.

Frank Taylor: Join me for dinner.

Elise: Too demanding.

Frank Taylor: Join me for dinner?

Elise: Another question.

Frank Taylor: [thinks for a moment] I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.

[Elise smiles at Frank]

Elise: It's the um... the Roman god, Janus. My mother gave it to me when I was little. She wanted to teach me that people have two sides. A good side, a bad side, a past, a future. And that we must embrace both in someone we love. And I tried...

Frank Taylor: What's he like?

Elise: He's... different, from anybody I know...

Frank Taylor: Different's good. Where I come from, the highest compliment they can offer a person is to say that they're down to earth, grounded. I hate it. It drives me nuts!

Frank Taylor: My name's Frank.

Elise: That's a terrible name.

Frank Taylor: [shrugs] It's the only one I've got.

Elise: Perhaps we can find you a new one.

Chief Inspector Jones: Agent Ward, your suspension's lifted.

Elise: Thank you, sir.

Chief Inspector Jones: And your employment is terminated, effective immediately.

Elise: Thank you, sir.

Frank Taylor: I'm sorry!

Elise: What for?

Frank Taylor: Aha! Oh do you mind me smoking, it's not a real cigarette, look! It delivers the same amount of nicotine, but the smoke is water vapor.

Elise: That's somewhat disappointing.

Frank Taylor: Would you rather have me smoking?

Elise: I'd rather you be a man who does exactly as he pleases.

Reginald Shaw: [walking forward, slowly] Alexander, is it you? Truly?

Frank Taylor: Truly.

Reginald Shaw: Show me your teeth.

[Frank opens his mouth, only showing his teeth]

Reginald Shaw: Aleaxander has crooked teeth, stained from excessive smoking.

Frank Taylor: Braces and electronic cigarettes.

Reginald Shaw: He had a high forehead.

Frank Taylor: I had a migraine for two weeks after the remodel.

Reginald Shaw: You sound different.

Frank Taylor: Voice chip implant.

Reginald Shaw: No, no. I mean the way you speak.

Elise: Yes, that's right. Alexander was English. This man is American.

Frank Taylor: [with a slight British accent] I've actually gotten so used to the American accent, I find it a tad difficult to go back.

Elise: [scoffingly] That's pathetic. This man is not Alexander Pierce! He's a tourist.

Reginald Shaw: A tourist?

Elise: Someone I happen to sit next to on a train.

Frank Taylor: [pointedly to Shaw] How would a tourist know that you kill every man your wife has ever slept with?

Elise: Because I told him that.

Reginald Shaw: [to Elise] You... told a tourist?

Frank Taylor: Why would she do that? It's absurd.

The Englishman: [as he is restrained] I'm just a tourist. Just a tourist. He said I might get arrested at some point

Acheson: [taking the passport] What?

The Englishman: But then you'd have to let me go because you have nothing on me.

Chief Inspector Jones: Who?

The Englishman: The man that's been sending me these texts

[holding out his phone]

Acheson: [taking the phone] Texts?

The Englishman: And the money, of course.

Acheson: [looking through the texts in the phone] Let me get this straight, because I'm a little confused. You received money from a man you've never met before, who sends you text messages telling you just to show up somewhere?

The Englishman: [wistfully looking around Venice] Well, not just anywhere.

Elise: So, what are you doing in the city of lovers? Is there no one in your life?

Frank Taylor: [quietly] There was.

Elise: What happened?

Frank Taylor: She left me.

Elise: [looking down] I'm sorry to hear that, Frank.

[two thugs enter the hotel room. Frank locks himself in the bathroom and calls the reception]

Frank Taylor: Hello? please help!

Hotel Concierge Alessio: [answers the phone] Buongiorno, signore.

Frank Taylor: Buongiorno... I, I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door...

Hotel Concierge Alessio: I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?

Frank Taylor: No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in!

[caught in panic, Frank tries to explain the situation in Spanish instead of Italian]

Frank Taylor: Dos hombres, con... con pistolas!

Hotel Concierge Alessio: [amused] Your Spanish is excellent, sir.

Frank Taylor: Thank you...

[the thugs shoot at the door. The bullets nearly hit Frank]

Frank Taylor: Ah, I gotta go!

[Frank drops the phone and exits through the window]

Hotel Concierge Alessio: Sir?

[the concierge replaces the receiver]

Hotel Concierge Alessio: American!