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Reporter: Say listen, is he working on a case?
Nora Charles: Yes, yes!
Reporter: What case?
Nora Charles: A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.
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Marion: I don't like crooks. And if I did like 'em, I wouldn't like crooks that are stool pigeons. And if I did like crooks that are stool pigeons, I still wouldn't like you.
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Lieutenant John Guild: You got a pistol permit?
Nick Charles: No.
Lieutenant John Guild: Ever heard of the Sullivan Act?
Nora Charles: Oh, that's all right, we're married.
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[On the motley group of guests present]
Nora Charles: Oh, Nicky, I love you because you know such lovely people.
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Nora Charles: Waiter, will you serve the nuts? I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts?
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Nick Charles: The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.
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Nick Charles: How'd you like Grant's tomb?
Nora Charles: It's lovely. I'm having a copy made for you.
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Nora Charles: Pretty girl.
Nick Charles: Yes. She's a very nice type.
Nora Charles: You got types?
Nick Charles: Only you, darling. Lanky brunettes with wicked jaws.
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Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.
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Nick Charles: Oh, it's all right, Joe. It's all right. It's my dog. And, uh, my wife.
Nora Charles: Well you might have mentioned me first on the billing.
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Nora Charles: You know, that sounds like an interesting case. Why don't you take it?
Nick Charles: I haven't the time. I'm much too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for.
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[the guests are finding their places to sit at the dinner table]
Mimi Jorgenson, the former Mrs. Wynant: I'm Mrs. Jorgenson!
Mrs. Jorgenson: Put it over there, sister. I was Mrs. Jorgenson before you were.
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Tom: [first lines]
Tom: Your daughter's here, Mr. Wynant. Mr. Wynant! Mr. Wynant!
Clyde Wynant, the thin man: Haven't you got any more sense than to shout at me like that?
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[last lines]
Nora Charles: [In their two-berth sleeping car] Nicky... Nicky, put Asta in here with me tonight.
Nick Charles: [chuckles] Oh, yeah?
[Nick throws Asta in the upper berth. Nick leans down to kiss Nora. Asta covers his eyes with his paws. Last shot you see the train traveling off into the night as the soundtrack plays, "California, Here I Come."]
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Nora Charles: Take care of yourself
Nick Charles: Why, sure I will.
Nora Charles: Don't say it like that! Say it as if you meant it!
Nick Charles: Well, I do believe the little woman cares.
Nora Charles: I don't care! It's just that I'm used to you, that's all.
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Nora Charles: All right! Go ahead! Go on! See if I care! But I thinks it's a dirty trick to bring me all the way to New York just to make a widow of me.
Nick Charles: You wouldn't be a widow long.
Nora Charles: You bet I wouldn't!
Nick Charles: Not with all your money...
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Nick Charles: Say, how did you people happen to pop in here?
Lieutenant John Guild: We hear this is getting to be sort of a meeting place for the Wynant family, so we figured we'll stick around just in case the old boy himself should show up. Then we see this bird sneak in, we decide to come up. And lucky for you we did!
Nick Charles: Yes, I might not have been shot.
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Nick Charles: Now don't make a move or that dog will tear you to shreds.
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Nora Charles: Nick? Nicky?
Nick Charles: What?
Nora Charles: You asleep?
Nick Charles: Yes!
Nora Charles: Good. I want to talk to you.
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Tommy: Say, I'm getting out of here.
Nick Charles: No, you stay here.
Tommy: If I stay, I know I'm gonna take a poke at him.
Nick Charles: Then I insist that you stay.
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Nick Charles: Hey, would you mind putting that gun away? My wife doesn't care, but I'm a very timid fellow.
Nora Charles: You idiot!
Nick Charles: [to the gunman] Alright, shoot! I mean, uh, what's on your mind?
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Nick Charles: Now my friends, if I may propose a little toast. Let us eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
Nora Charles: You give such charming parties, Mr. Charles.
Nick Charles: Thank you, Mrs. Charles.
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Nick Charles: Now how did you ever remember me?
Dorothy: Oh, you used to fascinate me. A real live detective. You used to tell me the most wonderful stories. Were they true?
Nick Charles: Probably not.
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Nora Charles: How many drinks have you had?
Nick Charles: This will make six Martinis.
Nora Charles: [to the waiter] All right. Will you bring me five more Martinis, Leo? Line them right up here.
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Gil: Could I come down and see the body? I've never seen a dead body.
Lieutenant John Guild: Why do you want to?
Gil: Well, I've been studying psychopathic criminology and I have a theory. Perhaps this was the work of a sadist or a paranoiac. If I saw it I might be able to tell.
Lieutenant John Guild: Yeah, that's a good idea. But don't you bother to come down - we'll bring the body right up to you.
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[Nick has revived Nora after knocking her out to keep her from being accidentally shot by Joe Morelli]
Nora Charles: You darn fool! You didn't have to knock me out. I knew you'd take him, but I wanted to see you do it.
Lieutenant John Guild: [laughs] There's a girl with hair on her chest.
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Reporter: Well, can't you tell us anything about the case?
Nick Charles: Yes, it's putting me way behind in my drinking.
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Nora Charles: What's that man doing in my drawers?
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Nora Charles: [suffering from a hang-over] What hit me?
Nick Charles: The last martini. How 'bout a pick-me-up?
Nora Charles: No!
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Nick Charles: The murderer is right in this room. Sitting at this table. You may serve the fish.
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Nora Charles: [to Asta, as Nick and Asta are going out on a case] If you let anything happen to him, you'll never wag that tail again.
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Morelli: What's the gag?
Marion: You know as much about it as I do.
Detective Waiter: [shouting] Have a cocktail!
Morelli: N-no, I don't care for any.
Detective Waiter: [Still shouting] I said, have a cocktail!
Marion: [Nervously] I guess he wants us to have a cocktail.
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Lieutenant John Guild: [Examining the over-sized clothes of a recently-discovered corpse] He must've weighed 250 pounds if he weighed an ounce.
Dr. Walton: [Handing Guild a cane] Here's something.
Lieutenant John Guild: Hmmm. Rubber tip. He must have been lame.
Dr. Walton: Who wouldn't be, carrying all that weight around?
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Nora Charles: [after the doorbell rings on Christmas Eve] Who's that?
Nick Charles: It's probably Santa Claus.
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Nick Charles: [inviting MacCaulay in] What are you drinking?
Herbert MacCaulay: Oh, nothing, thanks. Nothing.
Nick Charles: Oh, that's a mistake.
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Nora Charles: [after Nick gets shot at] Do you want a drink?
Nick Charles: What do you think?
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Foster: [to telephone operator] I want to speak to Ma!
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Nick Charles: Haven't you heard the news? I'm a gentleman now!
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Nora Charles: Is that my drink over there?
Nick Charles: What were you drinking?
Nora Charles: Rye.
Nick Charles: [finishes her drink in one gulp and hands her the empty glass] Yes, that's yours.
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Nick Charles: C'mon in kid, shed the chapeau.
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Nora Charles: It's the nicest dinner I ever listened to.
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Nick Charles: [carrying a tray of drinks] Here's that man again! Ammunition! Highballs and cocktails - the long and short of it.
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Gil: There's a physiological as well as psychological angle in my father's relationship with Julia Wolf that the police have overlooked, and I think it settles the whole question. You see, my father was a sexagenarian.
Reporter: He was?
Gil: Yes, he admitted it.
Reporter: A sexagenarian, eh?
Gil: [nods]
Reporter: But we can't put that in the paper.
Gil: Why not?
Reporter: You know how they are; sex?
Gil: Well, then just say he was sixty years old.
Reporter: Is that what that means?
Gil: Of course!
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Dorothy: You're not missing much. He's cuckoo!
Clyde Wynant, the thin man: Like all the rest of us.
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Clyde Wynant, the thin man: Is this fellow - has he seen the whole family?
Dorothy: Yes and he still wants to marry me.
Clyde Wynant, the thin man: He's a brave man!
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Morelli: You women sure take a lot of punishment.
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Clyde Wynant, the thin man: Who's that man?
Julia Wolf: He isn't anybody. Just a fella I used to know.
Clyde Wynant, the thin man: I thought you'd given up that sort of friend.
Julia Wolf: Why - it's the first time I've seen him in years. I didn't want him to think I was high-hatting him.
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Nora Charles: Who is she?
Nick Charles: Oh, darling, I was hoping I wouldn't have to answer that.
Nora Charles: Come on.
Nick Charles: Well, Dorothy is really my daughter. You see, it was spring in Venice and I was so young, I didn't know what I was doing. We're all like that on my father's side.
Nora Charles: By the way, how is your father's side?
Nick Charles: Oh, it's much better, thanks. And yours?
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Nora Charles: The next person who says Merry Christmas to me, I'll kill 'em.
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Gil: You have an Oedipus complex and you won't admit it.
Dorothy: Oh, please, Gilbert.
Gil: The trouble with you is you won't face facts. Now, I know I have a mother fixation - but, it's slight. It hasn't yet reached the point of where I...
Dorothy: Stop it, Gilbert! Stop it!
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Nick Charles: [singing] For tomorrow may bring sorrow, so tonight let us be - gay...
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Reporter: Why are you in town?
Nick Charles: My wife is on a bender. I'm trying to sober her up.
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Nick Charles: [Bringing out a tray full of cocktails] Ammunition! Come on, stock up.
Male Yuletide Reveler: Let-let this one ride, mate.
Nick Charles: You better! Hard times might catch you.
Female Yuletide Reveler: Nick, who are these amazing people?
Nick Charles: Oh, just a lot of old friends. Romans! Countrymen! What do you say?
Police Captain: This is like old times, Nick. Remember when we used to have 'em when we were flat broke.
Nick Charles: Oh, don't I.
Police Captain: Those were the good old days.
Nick Charles: Don't kid yourself. These are the good old days.
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Nick Charles: Can't you get to sleep?
Nora Charles: No.
Nick Charles: Well, maybe you should take a drink. It will help you.
Nora Charles: No, thanks.
Nick Charles: Well, then maybe it will help if I took it!
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Morelli: I didn't knock Julia off.
Nick Charles: All right, you didn't.
Morelli: I ain't seen her in about three months. We was all washed up.
Nick Charles: Why tell me?
Morelli: I wouldn't have any reason to hurt her. She was always on the up-and-up with me; but, that dirty little Nunheim he got sore with her cause I clicked and he didn't! And he put the finger on me!
Nick Charles: Well, this is all swell brother; but, you're peddling your fish in the wrong market. I've got nothing to do with this.
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Lieutenant John Guild: Now, look here Charles I guess we're both of us going about this thing in the wrong way. Now, I don't want to get tough with you and I'm sure you don't want to get tough with me. There's just one more question I wanna ask you. Are you willing to swear to a complaint for this guy's pluggin' ya?
Nick Charles: Now, that's another one I can't answer now. Maybe it was an accident?
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Nick Charles: Your guess is as good as mine, baby.
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Nick Charles: From now on they're going to think that every thin man with white hair is Wynant.
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Nunheim: You open your mouth and I'll pop a tooth out of it!
Marion: Oh, is that so?
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Nunheim: She's drivin' me nuts. She's been raggin' me all day.
Lieutenant John Guild: Maybe if you quit runnin' around after other women, you wouldn't have so much trouble with this one.
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Marion: I don't like crooks. And if I did like 'em, I wouldn't like crooks that are stool pigeons. And if I did like crooks that are stool pigeons, I still wouldn't like you!
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Lieutenant John Guild: Give me that phone! Give me that phone! Bill, pick up Nunheim. Tell the boys. He just left here. Went down the fire escape. Cover the Grand Central and Pennsylvania Stations. Check all airports and all steam ship terminals. What's that? No, no, no. Have Lefty radio all the cars. He was dressed in a black pair of pants. Yes. Yes. Pink unde - how should I know if his underwear's embroidered? What?
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Tanner: Julia Wolf got me a job as her bookkeeper.
Nick Charles: Well, that's a hot one. Bookkeeper. Where did you ever learn bookkeeping?
Tanner: That last time you sent me up, I learned bookkeeping in Sing Sing.
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Nora Charles: Back to California, huh?
Nick Charles: My soul woman, I give you three murders and you're still not satisfied.
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Nick Charles: Whoever killed him was counting on one thing: that skeletons all look alike.
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Nick Charles: I want to lie low until I get the whole dope. I'm not gonna go off half-cocked.
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Nick Charles: Have you got a nice evening gown?
Nora Charles: Yes, I've got a Lulu. Why?
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Nick Charles: Morelli, you knew Julia. Was she gypping Wynant?
Morelli: She don't say she is but I figure she is.
Nick Charles: Why do you say that?
Morelli: Well, once I wanted five grand. She give to me like that. Cash.
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Nora Charles: If that knife's missing, I'll look for it in your back.
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Nora Charles: Is this true?
Nick Charles: I don't know.
Nora Charles: Then, why are you saying it?
Nick Charles: Its the only way it makes sense.
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Tommy: [Toasting] Here's to you two.
Nick Charles: And here's to you two too.
[Hears the sound of a train whistle]
Nick Charles: Why the rat! He can't top us!
Dorothy: No!
Tommy, Nick Charles, Dorothy, Nora Charles: To-Toooooooo!
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Tommy: Why did your mother divorce your father? I think he's swell.
Dorothy: Well, it seems he had a secretary.
Tommy: Oh! Well, I'll do my own typing.
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Nick Charles: [replying to inquiry as to what he knows] I don't know anything, I've been in California for the last four years.
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Nora Charles: Gilbert, you've been listening on the extension again.
Gil: Of course, what else is an exension for ?
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Friend of nick: [Speaking about Nick Charles] Nice guy! He sent me up the river one time.
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Nick Charles: While serving drinks at the Christmas party Highballs and cocktails, the long and short of it. That's a pun. The punster should be punished.
The Thin Man Quotes
Extended Reading
