The Scorpion King Quotes

[after rescuing Jesup from certain death]

Mathayus: You're lucky we have the same mother.

Jesup: Live free.

Mathayus: Die well.

Mathayus: Live free.

Balthazar: Rule well.

Arpid: So, where are we going?

Mathayus: The Valley of the Dead.

Arpid: The Valley of the Dead? Nobody goes to the Valley of the Dead. That's why they call it the Valley of the Dead!

[the Scorpion King & the sorceress ride away on the camel]

Arpid: Wait for me, please!

[Memnon's Guards can be heard heading towards Mathayus and his young guide]

Mathayus: Get ready! I'll kill half, you kill half!

[the boy stares at him quizically]

Mathayus: All right. I'll kill them all!

Urchin: [Tugs on Mathayus' arm] How about we go around 'em and not kill anybody?

[Mathayus revives an unconscious Arpid]

Arpid: What happened?

Mathayus: You got us in! I knew you could do it. A jug of your finest wine for my road-weary friend here.

Arpid: Wait a minute... the last thing that, that I remember was this huge Akkadian fist coming straight into my...

The Sorceress: Rivers of blood can never bring peace.

Memnon: But they can bring obedience. That will suffice for now.

[about the catapult in his laboratory]

Philos: It was meant to be a quick means of transportation, but there was a little problem with the landings.

Balthazar: Watch yourself, Akkadian

Mathayus: No need for concern, Miss.

Balthazar: Ohh, he's gonna pay for that.

[Mathayus, Arpid, and the Sorceress have stopped at a pond]

The Sorceress: What do you think? Is it safe to drink?

Arpid: Woo hoo!

[Arpid jumps into the pond]

Mathayus: Not any more.

[Mathayus enters a room where Philos is working]

Philos: Good lord. Are you going to kill me?

Mathayus: Maybe later.

Philos: Like ALL of my inventions, Memnon will try to use it for war.

Mathayus: Where is Memnon?

Philos: Ay, you mean to kill him, do you?

Mathayus: [raises his sword to Philos' throat] Yes.

The Sorceress: If you face Memnon, you'll die! That is your destiny.

Mathayus: I make my own destiny.

[they kiss]

Queen Isis: Your judgment is clouded!

Balthazar: My judgment keeps all of you alive!

Mathayus: [after catching their fee] As long as one of us still breathes, the Sorcerer will die.

[they turn to leave. Balthazar pulls Mathayus's kama out of a pole]

Balthazar: Assassin!

[Mathayus turns, Balthazar throws the kama. Mathayus catches it]

Mathayus: Him... we'll kill for free.

Jesup: Horses are faster.

Mathayus: But camels are smarter.

Mathayus: How is it you see this? Don't the legends say you'll lose your powers if you...?

[arches brow, suggestively]

The Sorceress: Can you think of a better way to keep a king from taking advantage?

[Mathayus smiles]

The Sorceress: Well, neither could my ancestors.

Mathayus: You! You betrayed your own father?

Takmet: Yes. He was very shocked.

[holds up his father's head]

Takmet: You could tell by the look on his face.

Arpid: [tied upside down over a fire] Stop! Stop, listen to me! I am a high priest of Set! Spare me, and I shall bless thee in five different languages!

Torturer: You'll scream in five different languages, horse thief.

[first lines]

[the barbarian chieftain is holding up a skull]

Barbarian Chieftain: We have killed Babylonians!

[the barbarians cheer, he holds up another]

Barbarian Chieftain: We have killed Mesopotamians!

[the barbarians cheer]

Barbarian Chieftain: But we have never had the pleasure of killing... an Akkadian.

Jesup: [Tied up] May the gods have pity on you, for my brother will not.

[Mathayas storms in and kills the Barbarians]

Mathayus: I may be a king, but I'm a wrestler first.

[piledrives guard]

[Mathayus and Arpid are buried up to their necks in sand. Around them, the guard drops burning scraps of cloth into the ant mounds]

Arpid: Fascinating, isn't it? The smoke, it causes the fire ants to abandon their homes, you see?

[the fire ants swarm out of the mounds, towards them]

Arpid: All the sooner to feast on our naked heads.

[laughs]

Mathayus: You think this is funny?

Arpid: It's a little bit funny, yes. You see, I am about to escape, while you on the other hand are about to die a horrible death, for leaving me to die last night!

[after getting inside the city gates]

Mathayus: All right, that was the easy part. Everybody know what to do?

Balthazar: Cripple the guards.

Philos: Ignite the powder.

Arpid: And try not to get killed.

[after getting inside the city, the Urchin pokes his head out of the wagon]

Mathayus: What are you doing here? You could get hurt!

Urchin: So could you!

Balthazar: Where do you think you're going with my horse?

Arpid: To Gomorrah. Nothing we can say will stop him.

Balthazar: Without your sorceress?

Mathayus: She returned to save the lives of your people. I won't let her face Memnon's wrath alone. Step aside.

Balthazar: Akkadian, you're riding to your death. If I let you ride alone...

[pause. Balthazar grins]

Balthazar: what glory would there be left for me?

[walking through the desert, Mathayus, Arpid, and Cassandra hear a huge explosion and a plume of smoke rises. Philos appears, soot-covered and grinning ecstatically]

Philos: It works! It works!

[sees them]

Philos: My lady! How lovely to see you out here in this desolate place! Let me show you! It works! Ha! Come, come, come, come!

[Cassandra runs to him]

Philos: My lady sorceress... you see? I worked it out. My Chinese formula. My magic powder works! All I needed was salt - peter salt. It was here all the time! Th-th-this place is just full of it! By the way, do any of you happen to have any water?