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Gilbert: [Discovering most of the spring breakers have been devoured] No way, this is fucking bullshit! This is a fucking joke!
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Beach Patrol Alex: This is worse than the woman with the horseshoe crab up her ass.
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Beach Patrol Alex: It's pulling me... IT'S PULLING ME!
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Gilbert: What the hell happened to Mitch?
[last lines]
Mitch: Help! I can't move I can't... can't!
Gilbert: MITCH, SAY SOMETHING MAN!
[Sees Mitch being devoured]
Gilbert: I don't want to die with a dick on my face!
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Gilbert: I think it's over...
[the can starts shaking]
Gilbert: OH FUCK... IT'S GOT ME!
[Gets sucked down through the barrel]
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Kaylee: [Pours fuel over the beach] THIRSTY? You son of a bitch!
[Drops lighter]
Kaylee: Burn you MOTHERFUCKER!
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Beach Patrol Alex: Why's Fat Albert in the can?
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Jonah: That's bullshit! Oil does not do that. Or the fucking Quickie Lube guy would earn more than fucking minimum wage!
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Gilbert: My mother told me not to bring my black ass to this motherfucking Beach!
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Beach Patrol Alex: He's not my boyfriend! What are you? 12? Oh, I'm sorry, I was talking to the guy that you are shacking up with in a life guard stand. What do you call it now? Tender connections? What, did he poke you on Facebook?
The Sand Quotes
Extended Reading
