The Rickshank Rickdemption Quotes

Rick Sanchez: Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty - just you and me - and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me.

Morty Smith: Okay, take it easy, Rick. T-T-That's dark.

Rick Sanchez: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different - no more Dad, Morty.

Morty Smith: Oh, geez.

Rick Sanchez: He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away. I've replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home. without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty, and if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I'll deny it, You're gonna deny it. and they'll take my side because I'm a hero, Morty. And now you're gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty, forever! And I'll, I'll go out and I'll find some more of that Mulan Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty.

Morty Smith: What are you talking about?

Rick Sanchez: Because that's what this is all about, Morty.

Morty Smith: Szechuan?

Rick Sanchez: That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was fake. I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce.

Morty Smith: McNuggets?

Rick Sanchez: I want that Mulan McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty.

Morty Smith: What the hell?

Rick Sanchez: If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty.

Morty Smith: What are you talking about, Rick?

Rick Sanchez: That's what's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty. Season - Nine more seasons, Morty. Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce. What is that? For 97 more years, Morty! I want that McNugget sauce, Morty.

Citadel Commander-in-chief: D-99, this is the commander in chief of the Citadel's militia.

Rick Sanchez: Good enough.

[Rick transfers his consciousness to commander in chief's body]

Citadel Commander-in-chief: He's a spy. Blow him up. I'm gonna go take a shit.

Rick Sanchez: [as Leader of the Citadel of Ricks] Operating an unregistered portal gun, radicalizing a Summer, conspiring with a traitorous Rick. How do you plead?

Morty Smith: How is this a fair trial? O-Our lawyer is a Morty.

[Lawyer Morty is goofing around]

Rick Sanchez: [as Leader of the Citadel of Ricks] It's not fair, you have no rights, and he's not a lawyer. We just keep him here because he's fun. Look at him go.

Morty Smith: [as Lawyer Morty; mindlessly] Ha ha! Yeah!

Rick Sanchez: [as Leader of the Citadel of Ricks; to Summer and Morty] We'll be lenient on you if you renounce your Rick. What say you, Summer?

Summer Smith: I say fuck you! My grandpa was my hero. You killed him because you were jealous of him. That's pretty obvious from the haircuts. So do what you want to me, but let my brother go. He already renounced Rick.

Rick Sanchez: [as Leader of the Citadel of Ricks] Morty?

Morty Smith: [Morty is being bothered by Lawyer Morty] What? N-No, I don't want to see your Pog collection.

[to the Leader of the Citadel of Ricks]

Morty Smith: I don't renounce Rick, and I never have. I was just trying to protect my sister.

[to Summer]

Morty Smith: I wanted you to have a normal life. That's something you can't have when Rick shows up. Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong. All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything. And, well -- well, he's not a villain, Summer, but he shouldn't be your hero. He's more like a demon or a super fucked-up god.

Rick Sanchez: [as Leader of the Citadel of Ricks] Let's not suck the ghost of his dick too hard. He was a terrorist and now he's dead.

Morty Smith: [now confident and angry] Oh, yeah? If you think my Rick's dead, he's alive! And if you think you're safe, he's coming for you!

Summer Smith: I'll rescue Grandpa myself.

Morty Smith: And how are you gonna do that?

Summer Smith: I don't know yet. I'll make it up as I go. That's what Grandpa Rick does. That's what heroes do.

[repeated line]

Rick Sanchez: I gotta take a shit. I'm gonna go take a shit.

[Just as they are about to be attacked by the Cronenberg-world Smiths, Morty and Summer are saved by a SWAT team of Ricks]

Morty Smith: Hold your fire! Hold your fire! I'm Morty C-137!

Rick Sanchez: [as SWAT Leader] We detected a compromised portal gun. Where is your Rick?

Summer Smith: He's in prison.

Morty Smith: [irritated] Summer!

Summer Smith: He got captured by the Federation and we were going to rescue him.

Rick Sanchez: [as SWAT Leader] Very troubling. We can't risk Citadel secrets falling into the Federation's hands. We'll dispatch S.E.A.L. Team Ricks immediately to break into the prison holding C-137.

Summer Smith: Boo-yah!

Rick Sanchez: [as SWAT Leader] And assassinate him.

Summer Smith: [confused] Boo... nah?