-
Anna: Do I look like I need the answers?
Roy: You look like you need a PIMP!
-
Francesca: [to Anna] You look like a slut. I like it.
-
Roy: [looking at a crow in a tree] Caw! Caw! Caw, caw, caaaaaw!
Matty: [to Kyle] You've assembled a crack team, chief.
-
Anna: Why do you smoke pot?
Roy: Something to do.
-
[Matty just insulted Francesca after Francesca insulted his relationship with his girlfriend]
Matty: I'm sorry... I didn't mean it.
Francesca: Then why did you say it?
Matty: Because she doesn't call anymore.
-
Kyle: [about stealing the answers to the SAT] It's a victimless crime.
Anna: Okay, hypothetical situation: You're driving, it's late, you get to a red light in the middle of nowhere. Do you run the light?
[pause]
Anna: You see? You don't. You wait. Because a victimless crime is still a crime. It isn't worth it.
Kyle: Maybe it is. Maybe I run it. It depends.
Anna: On what?
Kyle: Am I trying to get somewhere important?
-
Larry: [Kyle's older brother who lives above his parents garage] Hey Kyle, word of advice...
Kyle: Why not?
Larry: Never take advice from someone who lives above a garage.
-
Desmond's Mother: You're a smart boy, Roy. So why are you doing a stupid thing like drugs? Hmm?
Roy: Err... something to do.
-
Larry: I don't live at home, I live above the garage. It's a whole separate dwelling... I've got my own phone line.
-
Matty: This is never gonna work.
Kyle: It'll be okay.
Matty: [scoffs] Yeah, we're going to be great. I mean, all-state's phone is ringing off the hook here, and...
[looks behind him at Roy]
Matty: Roy's trying to smoke Larry's comforter.
-
Francesca: [after Kyle tells them about telling Anna] You told Anna Ross?
Matty: Yeah. Kyle said he had a "feeling" about her.
Francesca: Hey, was the feeling anywhere near your crotch?
[Roy laughs]
-
Desmond Rhodes: [when group explains reasons for cooperating] I'm here cuz the SAT is racist.
Matty: Well, that didn't take long, did it?
Desmond Rhodes: What, you don't think so? Who made the test? Rich white guys. Who scored the highest on the test?
Roy: [interrupts Desmond] Asian chicks. Middle-class asian girls who watch less than an hour of television a day. They can't drive, but they can kick the shit out of the SAT.
-
Roy: [introducing Desmond] Desmond Rhodes. All city. But his grades are shitty.
-
Roy: [after giving SAT answers to stoners] Next year at Harvard, SAT is gonna stand for Stoned And Toasted.
-
Roy: [going through SAT questions] You know, a lot of people would think these questions are difficult... not me.
Desmond Rhodes: No?
Roy: No. These questions all have answers.
-
Matty: Did you happen to see my dad's truck in the driveway when you drove up? It's the one with the large crapper on the top of it. It doesn't say Matthew's Septic on it Kyle. It says Matthew *and Son's* Septic. If I don't get into Maryland my life is shit... literally. And its not even my own shit!
-
Kyle: Do you even know what SAT stands for?
Matty: Suck Ass Test?
Kyle: Scholastic Aptitude Test. Then they got rid of that altogether. You know what it stands for now?
Matty: Humph.
Kyle: SAT.
Matty: What?
Kyle: SAT stands for SAT. That's it.
Matty: That's fucked up!
-
Anna: If you could do anything with your life and money was no object, what would you do?
Roy: Anything at all? Well, when I was a kid I used to play this video game for hours, Street Fighter 2. And I remember thinking "You know, people get paid to do this - to think of the game and create the characters." Like there's this one character Blanka; he's like half human and half lizard who eats his opponents. Well ya know he either zaps them with lightning or he... bites their faces off.
[pause]
Roy: It's pretty cool huh?
Anna: So you'd design video games?
Roy: Nah, I'd kinda like to be Blanka.
-
[Francesca's father introduces another young bimbo]
Francesca's Father: Francesca, Tiffany. Tiffany, this is my daughter Francesca.
Tiffany: Hi.
Francesca: Peace.
Tiffany: Peace.
[Francesca leaves the house, then turns around]
Francesca: Oh, no. P-I-E-C-E - You.
-
Francesca: Remember when you said that you were great at being Sandy's boyfriend? Well, you weren't.
Matty: That's nice, Francesca. Why don't you just rub it in a little...
[Francesca interrupts him with a surprise kiss]
Francesca: You weren't great at being some girl's boyfriend, Matty. You just found someone who would let you be OK with yourself.
-
Francesca: [everyone's explaining why they want to steal the SATs] Ok, I'll go first. I'm here to make new friends. Oh, and for the wine.
-
Francesca: [to her dad] Just because they keep getting younger doesn't mean you will.
-
Roy: In the woods?... With that big ass crow?
[has a flashback to the woods]
-
Anna: I've never done anything. I've never broken curfew, or cut class... or made out on a rooftop.
[kisses Kyle]
-
Desmond's Mother: You're a smart boy, Roy, but there's a lot of dumb dribbling out of your mouth right now.
-
Roy: I'm the ghost, man. I hear things, and I see things. But no one hears or sees me.
-
Desmond's Mother: Well, Roy, this is our dinnertime. We don't interrupt YOUR dinnertime, do we?
[Roy sniffs a piece of old pizza]
Roy: Uh... I don't have dinnertime.
-
Roy: Francesca Curtis. Talk about your forbidden fruit.
-
Desmond Rhodes: [explaining his reason to steal the SAT answers] Who created the test? Rich, white guys. Who scored highest on the test?
Roy: [interrupts] Asian chicks! Middle-class Asian girls who watch less than an hour of TV a day... they can't drive, but they kick the shit out of the SAT!
The Perfect Score Quotes
Extended Reading
