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Abbie: I have something to tell you.
Robert: Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Abbie: Heh, not yet.
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[Talking about Abbie and Robert's baby]
Annabelle: Of course he'll be gorgeous.
Kelly: Will he be gay?
Abbie: My God, will your kids be stupid?
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Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?
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Robert: What? Eight martinis and you're stuffed?
Abbie: Yep.
Robert: Well, it doesn't take much to crack your egg, does it?
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Sam: Daddy, are you a 'faggot'?
Robert: Where did you hear that word?
Sam: Kyle told it to me
Robert: And did Kyle tell you what it means?
Sam: Yes.
Robert: Well, what does it mean?
Sam: It's when two boys kiss and they go to the opera.
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Robert's Mother: Do you remember that gloomy old grandpa that I told you about. The one who only comes out at night?
[Sam shakes his head yes]
Robert's Mother: Well, he's here.
Sam: Smelling salts. Smelling salts.
[Pretends to faint]
Sam: Grandma, why aren't you fainting with me?
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Young Girl: I know what a faggot is. That it what my dad calls someone who cuts him off in traffic.
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Abbie: Robert, I'm offering you a choice. You can either be the baby's father or his uncle.
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Helen Whittaker: Think very carefully before you don't do it.
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Kevin Lasater: You think I give a shot what that faggot thinks about me?
The Next Best Thing Quotes
Extended Reading
