The Mitchells vs the Machines Quotes

  • [holding Monchi who is dressed like a cop]

    Katie Mitchell: [as Monchi] I'm here to bust criminals and lick my own butt. And I'm all out of criminals.

  • Linda Mitchell: That's my Katie! Are you eating enough? How's classes? Are you and Jade official and will you be bringing her home for Thanksgiving?

    Katie Mitchell: Easy, mom. It's only been a few weeks!

  • Furby: Behold! The Twilight of Man!

  • Katie Mitchell: I never fit in, for lots of reasons.

  • Katie Mitchell: My parents haven't figured me out yet. To be fair, it took a while to figure myself out.

  • Linda Mitchell: I am Linda Mitchell, mother of two. Look upon me in fear!

  • Rick Mitchell: [dramatically] The endgame has begun. That? Is that what you're looking for?

  • Katie Mitchell: Aaron, do you have a credit card?

    Aaron Mitchell: I'm a child.

  • Rick Mitchell: Oh my gosh. It's like a Journey album cover.

    Aaron Mitchell: What's an "album"?

  • Mark Bowman: It's almost like stealing people's data and giving it to a hyper-intelligent AI as part of an unregulated tech monopoly was a bad thing.

  • [repeated line]

    Aaron Mitchell: Raptor bash?

    Katie Mitchell: Raptor bash.

    [they both fist-bump and hiss like raptors]

  • [Katie is watching video footage of Rick moving out of the log cabin he built himself]

    Linda Mitchell: [off-camera] Oh, honey, I know it's hard.

    [Rick moves from facing the cabin to playing with baby Katie]

    Rick Mitchell: No. This is easy.

  • Dirk: Mind-blowing.

  • Dirk: We set up a Slip 'N Slide in the dorms. It's amazing.

  • Dirk: [walking by Katie's dorm room] Thanks again for saving the world, K-Bones!

    Katie Mitchell: [shoots fingerguns] No problem, Dirk.

  • Giant Furby: [shrieking] I will avenge my fallen children!

  • Linda Mitchell: [appears through a bright light] I have made the metal ones pay for their crimes.

    Aaron Mitchell: [chuckles] Mom's scary now.

  • Rick: Run!

    [the Mitchell family, and two Pal Max robots, starts running away from the World Largest Furby]

    Giant Furby: [translated from Furbish] So be it... Let the dark harvest begin!

  • Aaron Mitchell: Hi, would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs? No? Okay, thank you.

    [crosses out a name in a phone book and dials the next one]

    Aaron Mitchell: Hi, would YOU like to talk to me about dinosaurs?

  • Rick Mitchell: [monotone] Beep bop boop. I am a robot.

    Eric: All due respect, that's an offensive stereotype.

  • PAL: Place me on the table. I wish to flop about in a blind rage.

  • Rick Mitchell: It took 28 minutes and a lot of tears. But I can now almost use a computer!

  • Katie Mitchell: I spy a flaming IHop. It's sad, but it smells incredible.

  • Katie Mitchell: [approaching an abandoned mall] Oh my gosh - this is like 'Dawn of the Dead!'

    Rick Mitchell: [sarcastic] Yeah, and how'd that movie end?