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Dixie: Let's vote! There is two letters on each ballot, a Y and a N. A Y means why and and a N means why not.
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Dixie: Somebody's trying to kill me.
Detective Skinner: If they succeed, I'll come see you again.
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Tom Tom: You shouldn't smoke, 'cause people die of it and sometimes they even get cancer
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Stanley Goldkiss: What my rivals want to buy is any piece of shit they can get on me and flush me down the toilet... They don't need much: one ounce of shit, they make a shit soufflé.
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[first lines]
Tom Tom: Wow, after I jumped it occurred to me, life is perfect, life is the best. It's full of magic, beauty, opportunity, and television, and surprises, lots of surprises, yeah. And then there's that stuff that everybody longs for, but they only real feel when it's gone. All that just kinda hit me. I guess you don't really see it all clearly when you're - ya know - alive.
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Detective Skinner: No matter how strange or despicable you act, I can do one better, because I work for the government!
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Detective Skinner: I could play the violin and wipe my own ass all at the same time.
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Eloise: It's too bad you're a cop, you'd make a great pimp.
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Stanley Goldkiss: The truth is the explanation that most people want to buy.
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Tom Tom: The heart is a sleeping beauty and love the only kiss it can't resist. Even if its eyes lay open wide, there is a heart that sleeps inside. And it's to there you must be hastening. For all hearts dream, they dream only of awakening.
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Dixie: I am the walrus. God is just the middle man.
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Terence Scopey: ...because the line between art and garbage can be thin.
Terence Scopey: Sometimes even artists cannot see it.
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Dixie: Well, it's all about believing, and if we believe in something, then that's real, isn't it? And if enough people believe in the same thing, then... that's reality.
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Detective Skinner: You'll do, take me to his room
Tom Tom: who... who... who...?
Detective Skinner: What are you an owl? The dead guy, Israel Goldstein
Tom Tom: Izzy
Detective Skinner: Is he what?
Tom Tom: Izzy was he
Detective Skinner: Right, Izzy, let's go
Tom Tom: [pointing upwards] Geronimo
Detective Skinner: Geronimo, Hi-Ho, let's go
Tom Tom: [smirks] Hi-Ho
Detective Skinner: [turns to a bystander] What is he, an idiot?
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Tom Tom: Dixie was in a music band called The Beatles. Only they didn't know.
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Detective Skinner: Special Agent Skinner. I'm a detective.
Dixie: You got some Oragel? This fucking cavity's going into my brain. Morphine, Motrin, Tylenol, anything? Come on, you call yourself a dentist?
Detective Skinner: Detective. Teeth, gums, gingivitis are out of my line.
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Dixie: Where the hell have you been? I've been calling you pretty little policemen for months now.
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Dixie: I called Liverpool, Interpol, even Paul.
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Dixie: Since I wasn't officially in the band, you know how it goes, it ain't easy.
Detective Skinner: Yeah, sure. That's not exactly why I'm here. Israel Goldkiss was pushed from the roof. That makes you a suspect.
Dixie: Jesus bleeding Christ! Are you paying attention? I'm talking The Beatles, here. The Fab Four. John understood. That's why they had him killed, you know? Now they're trying to kill me, because they finally realised who's behind all those songs. But I ain't seen no royalties.
Detective Skinner: Yeah, that's tough. But either you cooperate, or I book you.
Dixie: I've been doing nothing but cooperate my whole fucking life. That's what it's all about to be in a band. I'm not saying they weren't creatively involved... but most of the time, they were off with that Maharishi. You know, India, whatever, you know. There I was, all alone in the studio with my brilliant ideas... Thank God I had George Martin. George... Oh, that album in particular, we grew together like this, me and George.
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Eloise: So, why do you like me so much anyway?
Tom Tom: I don't know.
Eloise: Tom Tom, you know... you can't always say 'yes' or 'no' or 'I don't know'... you know... There must be a reason. And it would be nice to know what it is. So why don't you think about it and I'll wait.
Tom Tom: Love can never be portrayed the same way as a tree or the sea, or any other mystery. It's the eyes, with which we see. It's the sinner in the saint. It's the light inside the paint.
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[last lines]
Tom Tom: All I ever wanted was to reach Eloise. Just to reach her. I did. And I ended up turning the world upside down along the way, even if just for a moment. Wow.
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Tom Tom: She was the love of my life, even though hadn't actually met her - yet.
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Tom Tom: Why did you call me an idiot?
Detective Skinner: Wild guess...
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Tom Tom: Is was like in the day she lived in her body, but at night she left it for others. I always want to protect her, but Izzy said, don't worry no one can hurt her, she's not even there.
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Charley Best: I don't think your psych-out routine is going to work, because they're a little more afraid of their toilets right now than they are of you.
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Tom Tom: I suppose Skinner was playing dumb too, but he was out of his league.
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Terence Scopey: ...the artist is often merely the painter, and the dealer is actually the artist.
Shorty: Yeah, a bullshit artist.
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TV Reporter: How old was Izzy?
Shorty: Uh, like Jesus, about 30... 30 years old.
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TV Reporter: Entertainment is food of the gods.
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Tom Tom: You know, a man's home is a man's castle.
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Tom Tom: And sometimes people die when they smoke, and sometimes they even get cancer.
Eloise: I can't die.
Tom Tom: Oh, you can't? You can't?
Eloise: I don't exist.
Tom Tom: So, how come?
Eloise: I'm fictional.
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Dixie: You think God sits around writing songs? I am The Walrus. God's just the middleman.
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Stanley Goldkiss: Suicide is the lowest crime to a Jew.
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Stanley Goldkiss: The truth is the explanation that most people want to buy.
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Geronimo: It's about all of the lives, the cultures, the moments, that are buried in the pavement. Lost forever, without a trace like Izzy.
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Geronimo: God is white!
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Tom Tom: The world was spinning fast that night. I just hoped I could hold on and be part of it.
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Detective Skinner: Questions tell them what we're thinking. And free answers are worthless.
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Tom Tom: Izzy always said: It's good to specialise. So they'll think of you first.
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Dixie: Like never trust politicians or parking meters.
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Tom Tom: Venice is for lovers.
Eloise: So you're a pretty smooth operator?
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Eloise: If you're not gonna play retard, I'm not gonna play whore.
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Izzy Goldkiss: You can't love something puts no value on itself.
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Tom Tom: I think it was my ego that made me do it. I didn't even know I had one until I met Eloise.
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Detective Skinner: No, don't be so fucking stupid.
Tom Tom: I am fucking stupid.
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Charley Best: You amaze me. After all that you're gonna arrest some two-bit Indian hustler for murder based on the desperate testimony of this, uh, skateboard riding halfwit.
Detective Skinner: I knew you'd catch on eventually.
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Tom Tom: Izzy had so many thoughts, he said he had to store them in my empty head where they'd be safe. If only I could let them out again.
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Geronimo: [thinking] You could see right away he was special. Even before he told you.
Detective Skinner: My name is special agent, detective J.D. Skinner of the FBI.
The Million Dollar Hotel Quotes
Extended Reading
