The Long Goodbye Quotes

  • [Repeated Line]

    Philip Marlowe: It's okay with me.

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Do you ever think about suicide, Marlboro?

    Philip Marlowe: Me, I don't believe in it.

  • Marty Augustine: Your friend was a murderer and a thief.

    Philip Marlowe: That's a lie. I know he didn't kill her.

    Marty Augustine: Let me tell you something else. It's a minor crime, to kill your wife. The major crime is that he stole my money. Your friend stole my money, and the penalty for that is capital punishment.

  • Philip Marlowe: Who were the three DiMaggio brothers?

    Terry Lennox: Vince, Dom, and, uh, Joe?

    Philip Marlowe: Joltin' Joe, yeah.

  • [Augustine has found a $5000 bill in Marlowe's pocket]

    Marty Augustine: What's that?

    Philip Marlowe: A picture of James Madison.

    Marty Augustine: It's a $5000 bill.

    Philip Marlowe: I know.

    Marty Augustine: Where'd you get this?

    Philip Marlowe: A box of crackerjacks, came as a prize.

  • Philip Marlowe: Nobody cares but me.

    Terry Lennox: Well that's you, Marlowe. You'll never learn, you're a born loser.

    Philip Marlowe: Yeah, I even lost my cat.

  • Philip Marlowe: Excuse me, I don't see any Courry Brand cat food here.

    Supermarket clerk: Some what?

    Philip Marlowe: Some Courry Brand cat...

    Supermarket clerk: Could you spell that?

    Philip Marlowe: Courry Brand, C-O-U-R-R...

    Supermarket clerk: Oh, we're all out of that. Why don't you get this. All this shit is the same anyways.

    Philip Marlowe: You don't happen to have a cat by any chance?

    Supermarket clerk: What do I need a cat for, I've got a girl.

    Philip Marlowe: Ha, ha. He's got a girl, I got a cat.

  • Colony guard: Oh. Hi, Mr. Lennox. Say, you're up kinda late.

    Terry Lennox: Come on, lay it on me.

    Colony guard: Okay. Let's see, I didn't - Barbara Stanwyck, I've been working on Barbara Stanwyck.

    [as Barbara Stanwyck]

    Colony guard: 'I don't understand. I don't understand it at all. I've never understood it, Walter. I just don't understand why I don't understand it all. I don't...

    Terry Lennox: Okay, just remember that and you'll be alright.

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: I tell you what we're gonna do, Marlboro. You're gonna take that goddamn J.C. Penney tie off and we're gonna have an old fashioned man to man drinking party.

    Philip Marlowe: Well, that's okay but I'm not taking off the tie.

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: What'll you have?

    Philip Marlowe: What are you drinking?

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: What I'm drinking is called Aquavit.

    Philip Marlowe: I'm drinking what you're drinking.

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Well God bless you. I like to hear that. People these days go, "Oh, I want a little of this. Oh, and a little of that and a twist of lemmon." Balls!

  • Det. Green: Your name Marlowe?

    Philip Marlowe: No, my name is Sidney, uh, Jenkins.

    Det. Green: Come on inside, Marlowe, we want to talk to you.

  • [Marlowe is being interrogated. Green and Farmer watch from behind the mirror]

    Det. Green: There he is, a real cutie pie.

    Det. Farmer: He's a smartass.

    Det. Green: That's what I meant.

    Det. Farmer: Why don't you learn to say what you mean?

  • Det. Dayton: Here he is, Lieutenant, a real cutie pie.

  • Det. Green: He's the cutie pie, you're the smartass, you little honky bastard.

  • Philip Marlowe: Listen Harry, in case you lose me in traffic, this is the address where I'm going. You look great.

    Harry: Thank you.

    Philip Marlowe: I'd straighten your tie a little bit. Harry, I'm proud to have you following me.

  • Det. Green: My, my, you are a pretty asshole.

    Philip Marlowe: Yeah, my mother always tells me that.

  • Marty Augustine: [to Joanne] Look at that face. Is that a face for a magazine cover? The profile. You're beautiful, and I love you. I sleep with a lot of women; I make love to you. The single most important person in my life, next to my family. Is that right, Pepe? Huh?

    [smashes a coke bottle on her face]

    Marty Augustine: Get her out of here!

    [to Marlowe]

    Marty Augustine: Now, that's someone I love! And you I don't even like! You got an assignment, cheapie: find my money!

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: You know, if I could just get you to understand that when a writer can't write, it's just like being impotent.

    Eileen Wade: I understand what that's like, too.

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Oh, you do, do you? You do? BALLS, BABY, BALLS!

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: [on Dr. Verringer to party guests as Verrigner stands before him] You know, this son of a bitch - let me tell you one thing about this bastard. He is the epitome of what's wrong - with this world - he really is actually, 'cause he pretends to cure people. Can you cure people?

  • Dr. Verringer: I apologize for this intrusion, Mrs. Wade, but your husband dislikes paying his bills. I'm sorry; in future I must refuse to accept him as a patient.

    Philip Marlowe: Well we don't accept you as a doctor, quack.

  • Eileen Wade: Listen, would you like something to eat?

    Philip Marlowe: Yeah, I guess if you've got some cold bologna, mayonnaise and bread I'll hang around for a while.

  • Detective: Listen - what are you here for, Marlowe?

    Philip Marlowe: [smearing fingerprint ink under his eyes] Well I'm here 'cause I'm gettin' ready for the big game Saturday. You know, we're playing Notre Dame and I hope I catch a touchdown pass.

  • Philip Marlowe: [Riley is playing Williams and Mercer's "The Long Goodbye" on the piano] You practicing for the Hit Parade?

    Riley: Gotta learn this goddamn thing... he thinks it'll beef up the lunch trade.

    Philip Marlowe: [surveying the empty bar] Yeah, I don't see anybody waitin' on line.

    Riley: As cheap as I work, he cannot lose.

  • Dave aka Socrates: [rambling from his prison cell] "Possession" is what you get in here now. Possession of noses, possession of gonads, possession of life. It's a weird world. Listen, some day, some day, all the pigs are gonna be in here, and the people are gonna be out there.

    Philip Marlowe: You can bet on that. Listen Dave, remember, you're not in here, it's just your body.

  • Marty Augustine: I didn't have any pubic hair until I was 15 years old.

    Philip Marlowe: Oh yeah, you must have looked like one of the Three Little Pigs.

  • Marty Augustine: You know what night this is? This is Friday night. It's Shabbas. You know where I'm supposed to be? Temple.

  • Rutanya Sweet: Thanks a lot, Mr. Marlowe. I'll save you a brownie.

    Philip Marlowe: Thanks, but they hurt my teeth.

  • Colony guard: [after Harry has roared through the gate] Hey, did you see that guy come barrelin' through here?

    Philip Marlowe: It's okay, they're with me.

  • Doctor: We had to bring ice from the hotel

    Philip Marlowe: For drinks?

    Doctor: For the body.

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: [as Dr. Verringer walks up] It's Minnie Mouse. It's the albino turd.

  • Philip Marlowe: [trying to convince his cat to eat a mixture of cottage cheese, raw egg, and salt after discovering he's out of canned cat food] Oh, yeah... can't do better than that at Chasen's.

  • Det. Dayton: We know what time Terry Lennox left the Malibu Colony and what time he got here. Your girlfriends were so busy making hash pies, they didn't notice anything.

  • Det. Dayton: Are you gainfully employed, Marlowe?

    Philip Marlowe: I don't know.

  • Riley: [singing] There's a long goodbye, And it happens every day, When some passer-by, Invites your eye, To come her way, Even as she smiles a quick hello...

    Philip Marlowe: [on the phone at the piano bar] Hello. This is Philip Marlowe.

  • Philip Marlowe: Roger Wade. Big writer.

    Eileen Wade: He's a big man too. Six foot five, weighs 220 pounds. Once you've seen his face, you'll never forget it.

    Philip Marlowe: Sounds like some kind of monster.

    Eileen Wade: Only when he drinks. Would you like a drink?

  • Philip Marlowe: Let me get this straight, now. This is different from some of the times your husband behaves this way but not different from all the times? Is that right?

  • Philip Marlowe: You put some ice on your bruise and I'll go find your husband.

  • Philip Marlowe: The Lennoxes, Terry and Sylvia, they used to live up the beach, did you know them?

    Eileen Wade: Very slightly, like one knows most people on the beach.

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: This place stinks, Doc. It's this place that's sick, not the people in it.

  • Philip Marlowe: I tell you, Mrs. Wade, if you think your husband's suicidal, he needs some Freudian analysis or primal scream - or, I need a cigarette myself - but, I'm not qualified for anything like that.

  • Marty Augustine: Let me explain something to you. You see, I got a wife and I got three beautiful children. You know where my children are? They're in a very expensive camp in Ventura. My wife is in an equally expensive health farm where she's trying to lose weight, The Golden Door. A $1,000 a week to lose six pounds. See, I got - I got chauffeurs, I got maids, I got butlers, I got cooks. I live highly. It costs me a lot of money to live the way I do. I gotta have a lot of money . I got have a lot of money so I can juice the guys I gotta juice, so I can get a lot of money so I can juice the guys I gotta juice. And you, Cheapie, you can't take my money. I want my money!

  • Harry: You know those girls who live next door to you? You know what I think? I think they're a couple of lesbians. That's what I think.

    Philip Marlowe: What makes you say that?

    Harry: Well look at them up there, doing all those contortions together and with no clothes on.

    Philip Marlowe: Oh, they're just doing yoga.

    Harry: What?

    Philip Marlowe: I don't know what it is, but, it's yoga.

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: When was the last time you made love at the lighthouse on Point Venus in Tahiti?" Or out on the lagoon, that shining lagoon with the goddamn surf booming on the Barrier Reef? Or up on Whitney that night of the blizzard in the double mummy bag?

  • Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: You know what I wish you'd do? I wish you'd take that goddamn J.C. Penny tie off and settle down with me and what you and I are gonna do is have a little old-fashioned, man-to-man drinking party.

    Philip Marlowe: That's okay with me, but I'm not gonna take my tie off.

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Alright, you leave your tie on. Now, I"ll tell you what I got. I got champagne, beer, Scotch, bourbon, aquavit, tawny port...

  • Philip Marlowe: Fifty grand. You must run into a lot of luck, Mr. Wade. Most guys lose their undies when they play for those kind of stakes.

  • Philip Marlowe: Do you know Terry Lennox?

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know Terry Lennox; but, he's the kind of guy that if I knew him I wouldn't let on I knew him.

  • Philip Marlowe: Did you know Sylvia Lennox?

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Sylvia. A beautiful broad.

  • Eileen Wade: Would you all like some fresh drinks? I'll go and get some more ice. Come on, don't let this break the party up.

    Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith: Okay, okay, okay, get out. Get out, all of you, goddammit! Get outta here!

    Eileen Wade: Well, it seems the party's come to an abrupt end. Pumpkin time again.

  • Det. Farmer: Will you do me a favor? Go back to your gumshoes and your transom peeping and let us alone.

  • Philip Marlowe: I saw that man who walk into the Pacific Ocean, gave Dr Whatever-his-name-is $5,000 for an alibi so you could keep your job. I'm gonna go and call Ronald Reagan and get you to kick your ass off. You're gonna be selling bus tickets, you son of a bitch.

  • Philip Marlowe: You motherfucker! You knew it all the time. You don't deserve to be alive, you fuckin' pig!

  • Marty Augustine: See, what we have here is a problem with communication. I knew it, from the beginning. I don't hear from you any more. I don't get a phone call. I mean, not so much as a postcard. What's the matter? Where's the money?

  • Philip Marlowe: So what do you want me to do?

    Marty Augustine: I want you to take off your clothes.

    Philip Marlowe: Well, let me tell you something, I have absolutely nothing to hide either, but I'm not gonna take my clothes off.

    Marty Augustine: I want you to get naked so you can tell me the truth about my money.

    Philip Marlowe: You wanna take your clothes off?

    Marty Augustine: Would you like me to take off my clothes?

    Philip Marlowe: It's okay with me.

    Marty Augustine: Why, it's a pleasure. As a matter of fact, *everybody*, Harry, everybody take off their clothes.

  • Marty Augustine: Harry, your father was a mohel. Cut him.

    Harry: What?

    Marty Augustine: Cut him.

    Harry: Where?

    Marty Augustine: Cut it off.

    Harry: Cut "it" off?

    Marty Augustine: That's what I said. Cut it off.

  • Philip Marlowe: Chasing after that car, I got hit by a car.

  • Yoga Girl: We're dancing in the sand and our bodies are in ecstasy. We're seeing colors, all the most beautiful colors, you can imagine. And we're holding hands because we're one, and our breasts become full and our arms become free and our bodies become free. And we are now beautiful. We are now beautiful and we are now one.