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Ella Spencer: It's just something I really need to do with your father.
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Will Spencer: So you know what happened, when was it, last year? I opened their bedroom door and she was on the bed and he was kneeling in front of her and... I can't even say it.
Jane Spencer: Dad was muff diving? Yodelling in the canyon?
Will Spencer: I wanted to vomit.
Jane Spencer: Why? I hope it happens to me when I'm their age.
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Ella Spencer: [on phone] Go to Lillian and tell her something.
Jane Spencer: [turns toward Lillian, sitting on sofa] Mom, Lillian's...
Ella Spencer: Tell her she's the dirtiest whore on earth.
Jane Spencer: What did you say?
Ella Spencer: No, in the universe. The biggest whore in the whole universe.
[hangs up]
Will Spencer: So what's happening?
Jane Spencer: Nothing. Everything's fine.
Lillian: But where are they?
Jane Spencer: I have no idea, but Mom seems very... energized. And she sends her love to you, Lillian.
Lillian: Isn't that sweet...
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[repeated line]
John Spencer: I want a burguer.
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John Spencer: Is that really you, Ella?
Ella Spencer: Of course it's me! Who are you?
John Spencer: I'm me! John.
Ella Spencer: No, you're not. My John is a young teacher. It's charming. Very handsome. Educated. I want him back. You stole him from me and want you to give him back.
John Spencer: Oh boy, if I could I would. He was stolen from me, and was stolen from you too.
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Jane Spencer: You know, I start a sentence, and by the time I get to the end of it...
Ella Spencer: You can't remember how it started?
Jane Spencer: I can remember things I remember... But I can't remember things I...
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John Spencer: Traveling's important. Broadening your horizons, broadens your mind.
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John Spencer: Do you wear boxers or briefs?
Dan Coleman: I wear diapers, white boy, and now get out of here.
The Leisure Seeker Quotes
Extended Reading
