The Lego Movie Quotes

President Business: Hi, I'm President Business, president of the Octan corporation and the world. Let's take extra care to follow the instructions,

President Business: [Whispering] or you'll be put to sleep.

President Business: And don't forget Taco Tuesday's coming next week! That's the day every rule-following citizen gets a free taco and my love. Have a great day, everybody!

Emmet: You have a great day too, President Business. Man, he's such a cool guy. I always wanna hear more of what...

Emmet: [Realized about Business] Wait, did he say "put to sleep"?

Emmet: [to the Master Builders] I have no experience fighting, leading or making plans. It's going to be really hard, but I...

Metalbeard: [Gets up from his seat, yelling] Really hard?

[Looming over Emmet]

Metalbeard: WIPING YER BUM WITH A HOOK FOR A HAND IS REALLY HARD! THIS BE IMPOSSIBLE!

Robot: [At the Octan loading bay] Who are you here to see?

Batman: I'm here to see... your butt!

Robot: Is that a last name Butt, first name Your...?

Robot: [Batman throws a Batarang at the Robot decapitating him] Oh, my gosh!

[Batman and Benny laugh then Batman throws another Batarangs at the gate button but fails to hit it]

Batman: Pow!

[he throws another which still doesn't hit it]

Batman: Wham!

[he throws another and misses again]

Batman: Kezap!

[he then repeatedly throws the Batarangs until it finally hits the button making it go green]

Batman: First try!

Batman: [while under attack] To the Batmobile!

[the Bad Guys shoot at the Batmobile, blowing it up]

Batman: Dang it...

Wonder Woman: To the Invisible Jet!

[the Bad Guys shoot at an empty space next to the Batmobile, causing an explosion]

Wonder Woman: Dang it...

Green Lantern: Don't worry, Superman, I'll get you out of there!

Superman: [covered in gum] No, don't!

Green Lantern: Oh, my gosh, my hands are stuck. My legs are stuck as well.

Superman: I super hate you.

Vitruvius: We are entering your mind...

Emmet: What?

Vitruvius: To prove that you have the unlocked potential to be a Master Builder.

[Vitruvius and Wyldstyle make chanting noises around Emmet, followed by a big flash of light]

Emmet: [floating in space] Whoa, are we inside my brain right now? It's big. I must be smart.

Vitruvius: I'm not hearing a whole lot of activity in here.

Lucy: I don't think he's ever had an original thought... in his life.

Emmet: [chuckles] That's not true. For instance, one time I wanted a bunch of my friends over to watch TV, not unlike this TV that just showed up magically. And not everybody can fit on my one couch, and I thought to myself, well, what if there's such a thing as a bunkbed but as a couch? Introducing the double decker couch! So everyone could watch TV together and be buddies!

Lucy: That's literally the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Vitruvius: Please, Wyldstyle, let me handle this. That idea is just the worst.

[first lines]

Vitruvius: He's coming. Cover your butt.

[last lines]

Duplo: We are from the planet Duplo, and we're here to destroy you.

Emmet: Oh, man.

Emmet: Hey, uh, listen. Do you think you can explain to me why I'm dressed like this? And what those big words in the sky were all about? And, like, where we are... in time?

Lucy: Your home, Bricksburgh, is one of many realms in the universe. There's also this one, Pirates Cove, Knights Club, Vikings Landing, Clown Town, and a bunch of others we don't even mention. Lord Business, or as you think you know him, President Business, stole the Kragl, the most powerful object in the universe...

[in slow dreamy voice]

Lucy: ... blah, blah, blah. Proper name. Place name. Backstory stuff...

Emmet: Mmm-hmmm

Lucy: [in normal voice] ... is the Special. The Special...

[in slow dreamy voice]

Lucy: ... I'm so pretty. I like you. But I'm angry with you for some reason...

Emmet: Mmm-hmmm

Lucy: [in normal voice] ... put the Piece of Resistance onto the Kragl and disarm it forever!

Emmet: Great. I think I got it. But just in case... tell me the whole thing again, I wasn't listening.

Vitruvius: Are you ready?

Emmet: Yes, I am, I think.

Lucy: [President Business demands the Piece de Resistance which Emmet has] We'd rather he die than give it to you.

Emmet: I... would not rather he died.

Lucy: [about Batman's song] That's real music, Emmet. It's dark and brooding.

Emmet: Hey, I can be dark and brooding too - Guys, look, a rainbow!

Emmet: That's the signal, but the shield is still up.

Batman: Then I guess we'll just have to wing it.

[Beat]

Batman: That's a bat pun.

Emmet: Uh, guys? We're about to crash into the sun.

Batman: Yeah, but it's gonna look really cool.

Bad Cop: Playing dumb, Masterbuilder?

Emmet: No! I- Masterbuilder?

Bad Cop: Oh, so you've never heard of the prophecy?

Emmet: No, I...

Bad Cop: Or the Special?

Emmet: No! No, I...

Bad Cop: You're a liar!

[Starts kicking and wrestling a chair]

Emmet: Look, um... I watch a lot of cop shows on TV... isn't there supposed to be a-... Isn't there supposed to be a good cop?

Bad Cop: [Body slams chair and then throws it across the room] Oh yes, but we're not done yet.

[Face changes to the cheerful Good Cop]

Bad Cop: Hi, buddy! I'm your friendly neighborhood police officer! Would you like a glass of water?

[Sets cup of water on table]

Emmet: Yeah.

[reaches for cup]

Emmet: Yeah, actually...

Bad Cop: [face changes back to Bad Cop] Too bad.

[Knocks cup off the table]

Emmet: Isn't there a good cop?

Bad Cop: [Changes to good cop] Hi buddy! Want a cup of water?

Emmet: Yeah, actually.

Bad Cop: [Changes back to bad cop]

[Smacks water away]

Bad Cop: Too bad!

Emmet: I'm just gonna come right out, I have no idea what's going on or what this place is at all.

Unikitty: Hi! I am Princess Unikitty, and I welcome you all to Cloud Cuckoo Land!

Emmet: So there are no signs on anything. How does anyone know what not to do?

Unikitty: Here in Cloud Cuckoo Land, there are no rules: There's no government, no baby sitters, no bedtimes, no frowny faces, no bushy mustaches, and no negativity of any kind.

Lucy: You just said the word "no" like a thousand times.

Unikitty: And there's also no consistency.

Batman: [the clown and the lizard man are dancing around him] I hate this place.

Unikitty: Any idea is a good idea except the non-happy ones. Those we push down deep inside where you'll never, ever, ever, EVER find them!

Emmet: [while driving] I wanna go home!

[a house lands in the middle of the roadway and Emmet crashes into it]

Emmet: That's not what I meant!

President Business: [after putting the Kragle with the Piece of Resistance] Emmet... thank you. And I just want you to know from the bottom of my heart, from this moment forward, I solemnly promise that I will never-

[the Kragle explodes]

Benny: Disable the shield! Come on! You are undermining me!

Computer: Which phrase would you like me to underline?

Benny: Disable the shield!

Metalbeard: Let me try.

[to the computer]

Metalbeard: Be ye disabling of yond shield.

Computer: Disabling shield.

Benny: What?

The Man Upstairs: You know the rules, this isn't a toy!

Finn: Um... it kind of is.

The Man Upstairs: No, actually it's a highly sophisticated inter-locking brick system.

Finn: But we bought it at the toy store.

The Man Upstairs: We did, but the way I'm using it makes it an adult thing.

Finn: The box for this one said "Ages 8 to 14"!

The Man Upstairs: That's a suggestion. They have to put that on there.

Bad Cop: You were found at the construction site convulsing with a strange piece.

Emmet: That's disgusting!

Vitruvius: My fellow Master Builders. Including but not limited to Robin Hood, Mermaid Lady, Gandalf, Swamp Creature, 1980s Something Space Guy...

Benny: Hello.

Vitruvius: ...The 2002 NBA All Stars and Wonder Woman. You have traveled far to be here for a moment of great import. We have learned that Lord Business plans to unleash a fully-weaponized Kragle on Taco Tuesday to end the world as we know it.

[the crowd gets restless]

Vitruvius: Please calm yourselves Green Ninja, Milhouse, Nice Vampire, Michelangelo, Michelangelo, and Cleopatra. There is yet one hope. The Special has arisen.

Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.

Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.

Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!

Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.

Vitruvius: Dubbledore?

Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.

Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.

Gandalf: Vitruvius!

Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.

[to Emmet]

Vitruvius: Go ahead man, you got this.

[after Batman flies in and saves them]

Batman: Relax, everybody, I'm here.

Emmet: Batman!

[to Lucy]

Batman: What's up, babe?

Lucy: Babe!

Emmet: What?

Lucy: Oh, sorry.

[to Batman]

Lucy: Batman, this is Emmet.

[to Emmet]

Lucy: Emmet, this is my boyfriend. Batman.

Batman: I'm Batman.

Emmet: That's your boyfriend?

[Batman swerves his aircraft to avoid getting hit by Bad Cop as he chases after them]

Emmet: Batman, huh? Where did you guys meet?

Lucy: It's actually a funny story. Right, Bat...?

[she turns to see Batman has disappeared]

Bad Cop: There he is!

Batman: Police to meet you, Bad Cop.

[Bad Cop sees Batman has landed on his vehicle]

Bad Cop: Batman! The pleasure is all mine!

[Bad Cop punches Batman, then they start fighting on top of Bad Cop's vehicle]

Batman: Guess what, you big dumb baby? Your car is a baby carriage.

[Batman transforms Bad Cop's vehicle into a baby carriage and it starts plummeting to the ground]

[to Lord Business]

Vitruvius: One day, a talented lass or fellow, a special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from it's hiding refuge underground, and with a noble army at the helm, this Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm, and be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times. All this is true because it rhymes.

Unikitty: So why did you come back?

Metalbeard: This be-doubled land couch. I watched Lord Business' forces completely overlook it. Which means we need more ideas like it!

Emmet: Oh, thank you.

Metalbeard: Ideas so dumb and bad that no one would ever think they could possibly be useful.

Emmet: Oh. Thank you.

Vitruvius: Emmet, you had a vision.

Emmet: I did?

Vitruvius: MasterBuilders spend years training themselves to clear their minds enough to have even a fleeting glimpse of The Man Upstairs and yet, your mind is already so prodigiously empty that there is nothing in it to clear away in the first place. With proper training you could become a great MasterBuilder.

[repeated line]

Benny: Spaceship!

Benny: [suddenly appears] Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this.

[starts building a spaceship]

Benny: Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship!

Lucy: No! You can't. The skies are surrounded.

Benny: That's okay, I didn't really wanna build a spaceship. Anyway, that's cool.

[kicks his half built spaceship and it falls apart]

Vitruvius: My sweet Emmet, come closer. You must know something about the prophecy.

Emmet: I know. I'm doing my best but... I don't-I don't.

Vitruvius: The prophecy... I made it up.

Emmet: What?

Vitruvius: I made it up. It's not true.

Emmet: But that means I'm just... I'm not the special?

Vitruvius: You must listen. What I'm about to tell you will change the course of history...

[Dramatic pause. Then Vitruvius dies]

Vitruvius: Blargh.

Vitruvius: Emmet...

Emmet: Who said that?

Vitruvius: I did. I am Ghost Vitruvius. Oooooh. Emmet, you didn't let me finish earlier because I died. The reason I made up the prophecy was because I knew that whoever found the piece could become the special. Because the only thing anyone needs to be special is to believe that you can be. I know that sounds like a cat poster but it's true. Look at what you did when you believed you were special. You just need to believe it some more.

Emmet: But how could I just decide to believe that I'm special when I'm not?

Vitruvius: Because the world depends on it. Ooooohh.

Unikitty: Business, business, business. Numbers. Is this thing working?

Robot: Yes.

Unikitty: Yeah!

Shaq: Y'all ready for this?

Shaq: Oh no! They were ready for that.

Superman: Can't move!

Green Lantern: Don't worry, Superman! I'll get you outta there!

Superman: No! Don't...

Green Lantern: Ahh! Oh my gosh, my hands are stuck. My legs are stuck as well.

Superman: I super hate you.

Emmet: Ahhhh! I wanna go home!

Emmet: This is not what I meant!

Emmet: Unikitty, you're supposed to follow the instructions, remember?

Unikitty: Sorry.

TV Presenter: We now return to "Where Are My Pants?"

"Where are my pants?" guy: Honey? Where are my paaaaaaaants?

President Business: [after putting the Kragle with the Piece of Resistance] Emmet... thank you. And I just want you to know from the bottom of my heart, from this moment foward, I solemnly promise that I will never-

[the Kragle explodes]

Vitruvius: These mechanical birds will get our message out. They will go to an internet cafe and e-mail the remaining Master Builders, who will meet us in the secret realm of Cloud Cuckoo Land.

[haphazardly throws the birds out of the window]

Emmet: [to Metablbeard] Who are you?

Metalbeard: The name be Metalbeard. And I'll tell you my tale of woe.

Vitruvius: Oh, great, here we go again.

Superman: Can't get much worse than this.

Green Lantern: Uh, hello, neighbor.

Superman: Oh, no.

Green Lantern: It's Green Lantern. Oh my gosh, we're roommates. How crazy is that?

Superman: Does anyone have some kryptonite that they can give me?

Unikitty: [to Metalbeard] So why did you come back?

Metalbeard: This be doubled land couch. I watched Lord Business' forces completely overlook it. Which means we need more ideas like it!

Emmet: Oh, thank you.

Metalbeard: Ideas so dumb and bad that no one would ever think they could possibly be useful.

Emmet: [Disappointed] Oh. Thank you.

Bad Cop: [after he shows to have joined Emmet's side] I hope there's still some "good cop" in me.

Good Cop: [Spins his head around to where Good Cop's face was and draws a hackneyed smiley face on it] Yay!

Metalbeard: [after Benny tries to disable the shields several times with no luck] Let me try.

[to computer]

Metalbeard: Be ye disabling of yon shields?

Computer: Disabling shields.

Benny: What?

Unikitty: Your fellow Master Builders are gathered in the Dog.

Emmet: The what?

The Statue of Liberty: [in French] Bonjour.

Superman: [to the Statue] Girl, what are you doing right now?

Green Lantern: Hey, Superman!

Superman: Oh, hey. What's up?

Green Lantern: Lantern. Green Lantern.

Superman: Yeah, yeah.

Green Lantern: You wanna sit together at the meeting?

Superman: Um... I have to- I have to go back to Krypton.

[Superman flies away]

Green Lantern: [Exits] Didn't- Didn't Krypton blow up?

Lucy: And, by the way, I have a boyfriend.

Emmet: Uh, I'm not sure exactly why you'd bring that up.

Lucy: It's super serious. You do not want to mess with him.

Emmet: Okay.

Lucy: So don't get any ideas.

Emmet: I never have any ideas.

Emmet Brickowski: Whoa whoa whoa. Hey, I didn't draw that. Is that me exploding?

Vitruvius: Uh, I didn't mention that earlier? When you reunite the piece with the Kragle it might explode?

Emmet Brickowski: No, but it might not, right?

Vitruvius: [beat] Sure, sure sure. Let's go with that.

President Business: What is going on? Just stop building that stuff! Just stop it!

[as they fly over Bricksburg]