The Last House on the Left Quotes

Paige: Okay, so can we please just go now?

Francis: [holding a knife to her] Aw, Paige.

Paige: Please!

Sadie: Do you not like us, Paige?

Krug: I'm sorry ladies. We just can't risk it.

John Collingwood: We are going to get her to a hospital. Okay, we are going to do this.

Emma Collingwood: They're still here. What if they come over here?

John Collingwood: I know. You're right. Which means we gotta be ready for anything. We have to be ready to do anything. Do you hear me?

Emma Collingwood: We don't have a car. I mean the nearest house is six miles from here. How are we...?

John Collingwood: By land. Six miles by land. Okay, we are going to do this. We'll get through it. We are going to do it.

[from trailer]

John Collingwood: Are we there yet?

Mari Collingwood: We are making the turn now.

John Collingwood: It's the last house on the left if case you forgot.

Mari Collingwood: It's the only house for miles, Dad.

Morton: Praying now?

Krug: Oh Lord! Won't you grant me an empty mayonnaise jar to piss in.

Morton: You know Krug, considering the rather notorious nature of the prison you're headed to, I think I'd pray for something a little more substantial.

[car suddenly gets hit by truck]

Sadie: [referring to Morton] I think he's dying now. What do you think he's seeing?

[Krug grabs a photograph of Morton's daughters and shows it to him]

Krug: Something he'll never see again.

Justin: Can I get a pack of cigarettes?

Paige: Can I get some ID?

Justin: Can you just give me a pass?

Paige: Justin, I would if I ruled the world, but...

Justin: What if you help me, I help you?

Paige: And how are you going to help me?

Justin: Look, you know, I've got some premium grade-A shit back at the motel.

Paige: Really?

Justin: Yeah. You can see for yourself.

[upon entering motel room and finding Justin and Paige getting high]

Mari Collingwood: What the hell you guys?

Paige: Mari, Justin was not kidding. This is really good shit.

Mari Collingwood: Clearly. So, how long were you going to let me sit out there?

Paige: So Justin, my newfound friend, are you from a really big city?

Justin: Uh, no, I'm from all over.

Paige: All over?

Justin: My dad and uncle hustle around a lot, so...

Paige: What do they do?

Justin: All sorts of things. You know, I'm kind of out of the loop.

Mari Collingwood: Um, where's your mom?

Justin: [after a long pause] She's dead.

Mari Collingwood: I'm sorry.

Justin: It's alright.

Mari Collingwood: When did she... die?

Justin: It was a while ago.

Paige: Probably enough death talk. Do you want to move on to a happier subject?

Mari Collingwood: Sure.

Justin: [to Mari] Someone die?

Mari Collingwood: My brother, about a year ago.

Justin: What was his name?

Mari Collingwood: Ben.

Justin: [after long pause] Sorry.

Justin: Dad, look, I was just trying to liquidate some of the...

Krug: [interrupting] Liquidate. Wow. Is that my word or yours?

Justin: Mine... but... am I wrong?

Krug: No, Justin, you're not wrong.

Justin: Dad, what is...

[Krug punches Justin in the stomach]

Krug: [throwing newspaper at him] We made the first page, that's what's going on! We figured they'd have my face on there sooner or later. Now they got Sadie's to boot. Can you believe it, Paige? Mari?

Justin: [to Mari] Sorry, they weren't supposed to be back.

Krug: What? That's your excuse?

Justin: Sorry.

Krug: [sitting next to Justin] Justin, you gotta start putting other people's needs ahead of your own. You knew not to bring anybody back here, but you did it anyway, didn't you?

Justin: Yeah, because...

Krug: [imitating Justin] You guys weren't supposed to be here! Blah blah blah blah. But you did it. It can't be undone. Now you got to take responsibility for that action. It's as simple as that. You know how we do that?

Sadie: I don't know, Krug. I think Mari here has some potential you should consider. Krug, what do you think?

Krug: I think she's been a cool customer, ever since the motel.

Paige: You're pathetic!

Krug: What'd you say Paige? Where did that come from all of a sudden?

Krug: You ready to be a man?

Justin: What?

Krug: [referring to the girls] Pick one. Or both.

Emma Collingwood: Justin, sweetie, would you like some hot chocolate?

Krug: Well if he doesn't, it'd be a first. What do you say, Justin?

Emma Collingwood: Yeah?

Justin: [reluctantly] Yes, please.

Krug: So, do you guys live here permanently?

Emma Collingwood: Oh, no. We actually live in the city.

Sadie: How many houses do you have?

Emma Collingwood: [uncomfortable] So what are you guys doing out here anyways? This is kind of in the middle of nowhere. Are you on a family vacation? Or...

Krug: Well it's kind of embarrassing, actually. My dad used to take Francis and me to this lake every summer; do some fishing, go camping. Now that he's gone, those memories are all I really have left of him. Basically I'm just trying to do the same thing for Justin here.

Emma Collingwood: I think that's important. It's nice making memories.

Krug: [laughing] Don't know if I want to remember today.

Emma Collingwood: You might. You never know. You're all safe. You're together. That's what counts.

Krug: Amen, Emma. Amen.

Francis: [while John stitches his nose] Aw, that fucking hurts!

Krug: Oh man up, Frank.

John Collingwood: You know, you should probably just sleep here tonight.

Krug: Oh, well, no. We couldn't do that.

John Collingwood: I don't think you have much choice.

Krug: We just don't want to impose, is all.

Emma Collingwood: Well it's really not a problem. We have a guest house, so...

Krug: [putting his arm around Justin] Well whatever you think. Whatever's easiest.

Francis: Yeah, we're very easy.

Emma Collingwood: John.

John Collingwood: What?

Emma Collingwood: [holding Mari's necklace] This was in the kitchen.

John Collingwood: Okay. What?

Emma Collingwood: The kid... the kid put it there. John, Mari was wearing this when she left. She was wearing this when she left today.

Krug: Do you want to hear what I did to Mari? I bet you do. Pervert. You want to hear how tight your little homecoming queen was?

John Collingwood: No. I want to hear you beg for your fucking life.

Krug: [upon seeing Justin aiming a gun at him] What are you doing?

Justin: Ending this.

Krug: Well you sure picked a hell of a time to grow some balls. Glad to see you too. Now, look. I'm not mad, alright? Just don't do anything stupid.

[Justin pulls the trigger, but the gun is out of bullets]

Krug: [knocking gun away] My son. I loved you. I took care of you!

[stabs Justin in stomach with fire poker]

Justin: [hurt] Loved?

Krug: [covering Justin's mouth] You don't get to talk now!

Justin: Fuck you!

[last lines]

John Collingwood: Hi.

Krug: What is this? I can't move.

John Collingwood: You're paralyzed from the neck down.

[shows knife]

John Collingwood: I didn't have any rope, or duct tape.

Krug: Hey, what are you doing? Doc?

[John puts Krug's head in microwave]

Krug: What the fuck are you doing?

John Collingwood: [calmly] You're going to be fine.

[John turns on microwave and walks away]

Krug: [weakly] Wait... hey... wait.

[first lines]

Morton: [telling joke to Giles] So the next week, he's even hornier. And this time, he's got twenty bucks instead of ten. He goes back to the whorehouse, he slaps down the twenty, and tells the madam he needs to get off, but he ain't going to screw no goddamn chicken this time. She says it still ain't much, but she can help. She tells him to go to the room at the top of the stairs. This time there's just a bunch of guys jerking off, but one of the jerk off guys assures him "oh hey, it's cool, it's cool" and he waves him over to this whole toilet they're all looking through...

Krug: Oh, can we stop please? I really gotta take a piss.

Morton: Fuck you.