The Intern Quotes

Fiona: [Fiona is giving him a massage at his desk and is getting rather intimate] I'm Fiona, the house masseuse. Love that there's another oldie but goodie here... How's that, Ben?

Ben: Oh, hmm, oh boy

Davis: [Hands him a newspaper to cover his lap] Here you go... You're not as old as I thought you were.

Jules: [Alluding to age difference] I'm glad you also see the humor in this.

Ben: [Smiles wryly] It would be hard not to.

Jules: [Waves to daughter's friend who hides behind her mom's legs] Hi, Maddie.

Paige: [In a stage whisper] Bipolar!

Ben: "You're never wrong to do the right thing."

Jules: Who said that, you?

Ben: Yeah. But I'm pretty sure Mark Twain said it first.

Jules: Here's my theory about this. We all grew up during the "take your daughter to work day" thing, right?

Ben: Mm-Hmm.

Jules: So we were always told we could be anything, do anything. And I think guys got, maybe not left behind, but not quite as nurtured, you know? I mean, like, we were the generation of "you go, girl."We had Oprah. And I wonder sometimes how guys fit in, you know? They still seem to be trying to figure it out. They're still dressing like little boys. They're still playing video games. Well, they've gotten great. So...

Davis: I love video games!

Lewis: Oh, boy.

Jules: How, in one generation, have men gone from guys like jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to... take Ben, here. A dying breed. You know? Look and learn, boys. Because if you ask me, this is what cool is.

[leaning on Ben]

Jules: [distraught and ranting] I don't want to be buried alone. Paige'll be with her husband, and Matt'll be with his new family, and I will be buried with strangers. I'll be buried in the strangers singles section of the cemetery. Not that that is a reason to stay together. But it's just, you know, a scary sidebar.

Ben: Let's take that one off your plate right now. You can be buried with me and Molly. I happen to have space, okay?

Jules: Oh. Thank you so much.

Matt: I can't tell you how s-Sorry and ashamed I am. I thought I could do it. I thought I could be the guy that I told you I was going to be. And then, somewhere along the way... I thought I was losing you. But it was actually me. I got lost. It's a confusing world out there, and who I am got messed up for a minute. And now I'm watching you ready to give all this up for me. I will not let that happen. I love you, and I will do so much better if you'll let me. Please, Jules. Let me make it right again.

Jules: [crying her eyes out] You know what would be good? If you carried a handkerchief.

[last lines]

Ben: Breathe and relax for inner balance... Breathe deeply, Jules.

Ben: How do I spend rest of my days? You name it. Golf. Books. Movies. Pinochle. Tried yoga, learned to cook, bought some plants, took classes in mandarin.

[in mandarin]

Ben: Believe me I've tried everything.

[in english]

Ben: Translation... believe me, I've tried everything.

Davis: Whoa! Is this your closet? Busy man about town. What's in all these drawers?

Ben: Boxers, T-shirts, pocket squares, handkerchiefs...

Davis: Okay, what's the deal with the handkerchief? That one I just don't get at all.

Ben: Okay. It's essential. That your generation doesn't know that is criminal. The best reason to carry a handkerchief is to lend it.

Davis: Hmm.

Ben: Ask Jason about this. Women cry, Davis. We carry it for them. One of the last vestiges of the chivalrous gent.

Ben: Ben: I'm Ben Whittaker. I've got an appointment with Miss Ostin.

Becky: Becky: I thought she was meeting with her new intern.

Ben: Ben: That's me.

Becky: Becky: How old are you?

Ben: Ben: 70, you?

Becky: Becky: I'm 24. I know I look older. It's the job. It ages you, which won't be great in your case... Sorry.

Ben: I'm Ben Whittaker. I've got an appointment with Miss Ostin.

Becky: I thought she was meeting with her new intern.

Ben: That's me.

Becky: How old are you?

Ben: 70, you?

Becky: I'm 24. I know I look older. It's the job. It ages you, which won't be great in your case... Sorry.