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Charlie Arglist: As Wichita falls... so falls Wichita Falls.
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Vic: He actually threatened to shoot Gladys if I didn't tell him where the money was. But I think he was counting on a level of commitment and affection between her and me that just simply wasn't there.
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Vic: Don't you want to know where the money is?
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Vic: Don't be so worried. The hard part's done already. Everything worked just like you said it would.
Charlie Arglist: Yeah. I guess.
Vic: Just act normal for a few hours and we're home free. OK?
Charlie Arglist: OK.
Vic: OK.
Charlie Arglist: Uh, you wanna take the money and not me?
Vic: You wanna take the money?
Charlie Arglist: No, I-I-I don't know. I was just...
Vic: Well, if you wanna take the money... I mean, if you think you could do a better job at guarding two-million dollars...
Charlie Arglist: No, no, no. It should be you. It should be you. It's just that we didn't discuss that.
Vic: Are we through discussing it? Or is there more to say on the subject?
Charlie Arglist: No. We're done.
Vic: Cool. OK. Shut the door.
Charlie Arglist: OK.
Vic: And Charlie? Act normal.
Charlie Arglist: Yeah.
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Vic: Well? How'd it go?
Charlie Arglist: Good. Went good.
Vic: How much?
Charlie Arglist: A lot.
Vic: Am I gonna have to slap the shit outta you? How much?
Charlie Arglist: Vic, it's a great, big, fuckin' pile of money: two-million - one-hundred - forty-seven-thousand dollars and change. My God, we're actually doing this.
Vic: No, we're not doing it. It's already done.
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Pete Van Heuten: [standing outside his home where his wife's family is waiting to have Christmas dinner] That's my chair in there. You wanna know the truth? I can't fill it.
Charlie Arglist: Neither could I, if it makes you feel any better.
Pete Van Heuten: Listen, Charlie. Before we go in, there's something I have to tell you. It's been on my conscience, and you can punch me if you want to.
Charlie Arglist: I don't think I'm gonna want to.
Pete Van Heuten: Back when you and Sarabeth were still married, that last year... she and I were fucking.
Charlie Arglist: [not surprised] No kidding?
Pete Van Heuten: Like minks. Everywhere. Kitchen table, your bed, garage.
Charlie Arglist: Wow.
Pete Van Heuten: Jesus, Charlie, we were friends! It doesn't make you angry?
Charlie Arglist: Actually, it makes me curious. It makes me wonder who she's fucking now.
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Renata: [answers phone] Hello?
Charlie Arglist: Renata?
Renata: Charlie.
Charlie Arglist: Listen. You were right. Vic and I have been skimming.
Renata: Well, duh!
Charlie Arglist: I think Roy Gelles must have found out, and I think he might have killed Vic.
Renata: That's terrible!
Charlie Arglist: So I was thinking it might be best if I left town, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.
Renata: You have the money?
Charlie Arglist: What? Which?
Renata: The money we're talking about. That you and Vic have been skimming. Try to keep up, OK?
Charlie Arglist: No. Vic had it.
Renata: So, your idea is that we should run away together and be poor?
Charlie Arglist: I thought I'd give it a shot.
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Vic: Pay no attention to the man in the trunk.
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Pete Van Heuten: [waking up in back of Charlie's car] Ugh... Where are we?
Charlie Arglist: We're in heaven, Pete.
Pete Van Heuten: Oh... They got pancakes?
Charlie Arglist: They got everything.
Pete Van Heuten: Good.
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Charlie Arglist: It's Christmas! Everyone's nice on Christmas!
Vic Cavanaugh: Only morons are nice on Christmas.
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Renata: Are you in love with me, Charlie?
Charlie Arglist: I've always liked you.
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Charlie Arglist: Christmas Eve. Ho ho fucking ho!
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Vic: One night, driving a Mercedes, already you're an asshole.
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Sidney: My mother's always telling me I gotta control my anger, channel my energy into something more positive. Makes me want to slap her silly.
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Charlie Arglist: Pete, I know you're not asking for my advice, but listen... you should really shut the fuck up.
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Vic: You're dead, Roy. Don't just stand there pretending you're not.
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Pete Van Heuten: Yo-ho-ho, mofo!
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Renata: To the victor go the spoils.
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Renata: It's against my religion to give out personal advice, but you should either sober up or get real drunk.
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Charlie Arglist: Did I ever tell you my father was a twin?
Pete Van Heuten: Identical?
Charlie Arglist: Fraternal. Looked a lot alike, though, him and my uncle. Different temperaments completely. My father, he's a cop. By-the-book guy. Believed in the law, wanted his only son to be a lawyer. Drank in moderation, didn't smoke. Kept up his life insurance premiums. Voted in every election, not just for president.
Pete Van Heuten: Lemme guess, uncle didn't vote?
Charlie Arglist: He said he didn't want to encourage the bastards. In and out of jail from the time he was 16... drunk all the time, fucked everything that walked. Won a fortune playing poker, lost it all the same way. Lost an eye in a fight. My father was 54 when he died of a massive embolism, right here in Wichita. My uncle died the very next day in a car wreck in California. So the point is... it is futile to regret. You do one thing, you do another... I mean, so what? What's the difference? Same result.
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Pete Van Heuten: That was unpleasant. I think I scraped my tummy.
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Vic: See, this is the whole problem with people, if you are what you do and you never do anything, then what the fuck are you? That's the way I see it anyways.
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Sidney: No no no. Shut-up you toothless old whore!
[fight breaks out]
Sidney: Ah shit, Mom I gotta go.
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Charlie Arglist: All in all, i think that went well.
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Pete Van Heuten: Take me with you, man.
Charlie Arglist: Oh, Fuck. Jesus, Pete.
Pete Van Heuten: No, I mean it. Take me with you, buddy. I can't do my life, man. I can't do it.
Charlie Arglist: Just get some rest.
Pete Van Heuten: I hate myself. I want a new life.
Charlie Arglist: You don't want mine.
Pete Van Heuten: I really do.
Charlie Arglist: I'm in trouble. I'm in big fucking trouble.
Pete Van Heuten: But that'd be great. Don't you see? We go out in a blaze of glory. Like men. Like men, Charlie No goddamn life left for men anymore. Not here. This country, all that's left for men is money and pussy.
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Charlie Arglist: Oh, Vic?
Vic: What?
Charlie Arglist: [Shows a severed thumb] Whose thumb is this?
Vic: Oh yeah, Roy. good news: Charlie brought your thumb.
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Vic: You know what, Roy? One more word out of that trunk, and I'm going to shoot it at both ends, because the truth is, I can't remember which end your head's at.
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Charlie Arglist: It's Christmas, Dennis. It's God's birthday.
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Pete Van Heuten: My friend here is a mobster. You may know that. You may not.
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Charlie Arglist: People always say there's no such thing as the perfect crime... but I don't agree with that. If you plan things carefully enough, if you think through every last detail; if you have nerves of steel, if you can remain calm no matter what happens... then there should be no problem you can't handle. It's really all a matter of a character. Of course, if I had any character, I wouldn't have stolen $2 million from my boss. Christmas Eve. Ho ho fucking ho.
The Ice Harvest Quotes
Extended Reading
