Lewis Barnavelt: But, Uncle Jonathan, don't I have to have dinner before I'm allowed to have cookies?

Jonathan Barnavelt: Well, why not just eat cookies for dinner? They're far more delicious.

Lewis Barnavelt: I know. It's just, we had these house rules.

Jonathan Barnavelt: Well, not in this house. There's no bedtime, bath-time or meal-time. You can eat cookies till you throw up for all I care. You'll see. Things are quite different here.
Mrs. Zimmerman: [talking to Lewis, about Isaac Izard] All he said was he was lost in the Black Forest. Now, that is a very old place with very old magic. It's where the Brothers Grimm wrote their histories.
Mrs. Zimmerman: So, you told Lewis everything?

Jonathan Barnavelt: Well, not everything.
Jonathan Barnavelt: There's a clock in the walls. We don't know what it does, except... something horrible.
Jonathan Barnavelt: Have a look around, it's perfectly safe...

[a tentacled monster opens a door, Jonathan shoves it back]

Lewis Barnavelt: THAT's safe?

Jonathan Barnavelt: As long as it's fed.
[the clock strikes]

Jonathan Barnavelt: Three gongs... last time it was four. What happens when it gets down to one?

Mrs. Zimmerman: Nothing good, that's for certain.
Jonathan Barnavelt: [to Lewis] I can give you the right books, teach you the right spells, but that last 1%, that's up to you.
[a host of pumpkin monstes appear]

Mrs. Zimmerman: God, I hate pumpkins.

[blasts them]
[last lines, when the Griffin's topiary waste splat onto the Chair with The End card]

Jonathan Barnavelt: Bad kitty! Use the litter box!
[while Jonathan is playing the saxophone]

Mrs. Zimmerman: [to Lewis] Be a dear - fetch a knife and stab me in the ears.
Jonathan Barnavelt: Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
[first lines]

Jonathan Barnavelt: [writing letter] Dear Lewis: Enclosed, please find one bus ticket and two silver dollars for your trip to Michigan. I'm really sorry about the loss of your parents. Your mom was my sister, so that makes you family. And I'll do my best to make you feel right at home. As Einstein said, life is like a bicycle. To stay balanced, you got to keep moving forward. And so will we. I look forward to meeting you. Your Uncle Jonathan. PS Sorry for the stain on the letter. That's chocolate.
Jonathan Barnavelt: We don't know where the clock is or what it does, except something horrible. No, we gotta do the responsible thing: lie to the kid.
Mrs. Hanchett: [early one night] You've been playing your saxophone again.

Jonathan Barnavelt: Madame, not everyone can appreciate the intricacies of a free-form jazz odyssey.

Mrs. Hanchett: I don't care what you play. But you're playing at 3:00 in the morning, so I'm begging you.

Jonathan Barnavelt: I'll try to keep it down around 3:00 a.m. But, uh -- them's my best jammin' hours!
Lewis Barnavelt: This all feels weird.

Florence Zimmerman: What's wrong with weird? Weird's like the nuts in my cookies. It's the nuts that make things interesting.
Lewis Barnavelt: So, how long have you lived next door to Uncle Jonathan?

Florence Zimmerman: Oh, we've been friends forever, ever since I came here. Ran here, actually. From Paris. After the War.

Florence Zimmerman: [notices Lewis giving her a sly grin] And NO, to answer that look you're giving me, your uncle and I aren't anything kissy-faced.

Jonathan Barnavelt: [in another room, but he overheard that] Gross!
Lewis Barnavelt: [after preparing for Issac Izzard to come] Uncle Jonathan. This is my fault.

Jonathan Barnavelt: Lewis, you helped us. You're the one who decoded the blueprints.

Lewis Barnavelt: No. I mean I'm the one who brought Isaac back.

Mrs. Zimmerman: Lewis?

Jonathan Barnavelt: What are you talking about?

Lewis Barnavelt: I opened the cabinet. I used your book. I-I'm so, so, so sorry.

Jonathan Barnavelt: No, you couldn't have. You don't know enough magic to pull off a spell like that.

Lewis Barnavelt: I just followed the directions. I bled onto the book.

Mrs. Zimmerman: Oh, Lewis. Blood magic?

Jonathan Barnavelt: That was my one rule.

Lewis Barnavelt: I-I know. I'm sorry.

Jonathan Barnavelt: And you broke it?

Lewis Barnavelt: I didn't mean to.

Jonathan Barnavelt: So you opened a forbidden cabinet and performed an unholy ritual on accident?

Lewis Barnavelt: I didn't know Isaac was evil. You never told me.

Jonathan Barnavelt: Oh, so this is my fault?

Lewis Barnavelt: I didn't say that.

Jonathan Barnavelt: [furious now] Then what are you saying? What the hell were you thinking?

Lewis Barnavelt: [sobbing now] I just wanted Tarby to be my friend again. And I want my parents back. And I figured, if it worked here, I could go home and try it on them. I just want my mom.

Jonathan Barnavelt: [more calmly] I'm sorry. It was a mistake. You coming here.

The House with a Clock in Its Walls Quotes

Extended Reading

The House with a Clock in Its Walls short comments

Kaitlyn 2022-03-27 09:01:12

Together with my colleagues, I yawned almost 200 times. I wanted to rush to the screen and slap to death the little boy who knew how to scream. Eliros is a real mountain cannon, and white pigeons can fly out of the secret road. How the hell do you think of yourself as John Woo?
Elda 2022-03-25 09:01:13

This is an anti-war horror film adapted from a children's book and aimed at children but not at all suitable for children.