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Phil Philips: If shit gets crazy I'm gonna go crazy as shit.
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Bubbles: [Connie tries to kick down a door and recoils in pain] God, are you alright?
Connie Edwards: I ruptured my hymen.
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Agent Campbell: I'll have your badge for this! I'm in the fuckin' FBI!
Phil Philips: Oh yeah what's that stand for, "fuckin' big idiot?"
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Phil Philips: Hey, look! It's the NRA!
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Connie Edwards: Yeah! I unsew your mother, and made a jacket out of her!
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Connie Edwards: Holy shit cakes!
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Connie Edwards: I guess we know the purple carpet doesn't match the drapes.
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Phil Philips: Do you have the latest issue of Puppet Pussy Party?
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Sandra: Clean up on aisle Phil.
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Sandra: He won't shoot me! He's a blue loser puppet with a tiny felt cock!
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Phil Philips: I never knocked a guy out with his own balls before.
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Ronovan Scargle: I don't take compliments well; but I get them all the time.
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Dominatrix Dalmatian: I'm gonna piss on you like a fire hydrant
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Connie Edwards: You better get checked 'cause that shit tasted like salt.
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[on his friends, two siblings who inbred and had deformed children]
Detective Connie Edwards: This is why you don't go fishing in your own gene pool!
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Lt. Banning: Is Phil in?
Bubbles: He's servicing a client.
[noises of Phil and Sandra having sex are heard]
The Happytime Murders Quotes
Extended Reading
