The Fundamentals of Caring Quotes

Dot: I told you I only date assholes.

Trevor: Yes, and I'm not an asshole. And since you want an asshole, my not being an asshole makes me more of an asshole than the assholes that you normally date, because they're giving you exactly what you want, whereas I, by not being an asshole, am not. Which makes me an asshole.

Dot: I can't believe I actually understood that.

Dot: Trev, what would you do in that situation?

Trevor: Oh, I'd most likely shit myself.

Ben: And I most likely would have to clean it up.

Dot: Don't worry about them. They're idiots.

Peaches: Oh, okay.

Ben: I have to clean him up when he shits himself.

Dot: God.

Peaches: What's it like being a parent?

Ben: Every corny thing you've heard about having a kid is completely and utterly true... It's the only reason we're here.

[first lines]

Caregiving Instructor: Caregiving is not just about feeding and clothing and cleaning. It is also about understanding how to navigate a complicated relationship between those who give care, and those who are in need of it. If you find yourself lost, frustrated, confused, you can always come back to this helpful mnemonic device: ALOHA. Ask, Listen, Observe, Help, Ask again.

Caregiving Instructor: The fundamentals of caregiving are to give care... but not care too much. If you truly want a lasting career in caregiving, you'll need to adhere to the caregiver commandments. Write these down, they're important. I cannot take care of another unless I first take care of myself...

Ben: You think because you're in a wheelchair that gives you the right to say and do whatever you want?

Trevor: You ever considered that maybe I'm just a prick, with or without the wheelchair?

Ben: Well, take care of yourself in Denver. There are a lot of perverts there.

Dot: Yeah? And how would you know?

Ben: We all keep in touch.

[boht laugh and hug]

[last lines]

Ben: [typing his book] Soon after our trip, I resigned as his caregiver, but continued on as his friend. Two weeks ago, when I went to visit Trevor on his 21st birthday, I found him lying on the floor of his bedroom, finally at peace. The new caregiver, a kind woman in her 60s named Anna, was sobbing. She, like me, knew just how special he was. He was faking, of course. Anna quit the next day.

Trevor: I'd really like to take a pee standing up.

Ben: [nods] Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

[Trevor laughs]

Trevor: If I had one night with her, I swear when I was done, she won't be able to walk properly.

Ben: Oh, because you give her muscular dystrophy?

Trevor: "He died trying to see the world's deepest pit" is a really bad obituary.

Elsa: Or is it?