The Escort Quotes

Natalie: I thought it was poor form to bring your work home with you.

Mitch: Well, you're a presentable piece of work.

Mitch: Okay, look, my family thinks that I'm kind of like, a big fuck-up, and, well, you're smart and pretty and personable. And if I were to bring someone like you home, they'd, you know, think I'm getting my shit together.

Natalie: You think I'm pretty?

Natalie: I read your article, and, well, I think you misquoted me.

Mitch: Nobody even knows it's you, just like you asked.

Natalie: But there are some lines in here I would have never said.

Mitch: Like what?

Natalie: 'You see enough unfaithful husbands and you start to get sickened by the whole notion of love. How can you trust men when you see them call their wives in front of you and say they love them after they just paid for sex? I don't think you can be in my industry and still believe in love. It's like being a scientist and believing in God.'

Mitch: Yeah, you definitely said all of that.

Natalie: I'd really like you to publish a retraction of that statement and revise it to say; 'You see enough unfaithful husbands and you start to question the notion of love and then when you finally experience it for yourself you see what all the fuss is about and you can't imagine not having that person in your life and you feel like the luckiest person in the world and you would do anything to make them feel the same way about you.'

Natalie: Sure, you can buy me a drink.

Mitch: Good to know.

Natalie: Is that how you treat a lady who shows interest?

Mitch: You asked for a free drink. You didn't show interest.

Natalie: Were you expecting a blow job right out of the gate?

Mitch: Offering something would indicate more interest than asking for something, so...

Natalie: You don't want to get to know each other first?

Mitch: Before I buy you a drink or before the blow job?

Mitch: You think those artificial orgasm noises is what brings them back?

Natalie: Dude, I get *rave* reviews.

Mitch: Uh! I'll be sure to check out your Yelp page when I get home.

Natalie: Yeah, you should. Five stars.

Mitch: You could say that Victoria is just a character that you play, but you like this job. You revel in it. You're comfortable in it. 'Coz you're in control. You dictate the terms. You don't have to worry about being rejected by a bunch of guys who just want to cum all over you.

Natalie: And you're just a sad person who revels in his own self-loathing. I'll end the debate for you right now, Mitch. *You're not a sex addict. You're just a emotionally crippled child with low self-esteem who uses sex to numb his feelings. Your problem isn't sex. Your problem is reality. Sex is just your pathetic fucking Band-Aid.*

[first lines]

Rick: Hold on a second. Hey, there.

Natalie: Hey.

Rick: [Rick starts to talk on the phone while Natalie undresses herself] I feel like you're not hearing me, because if you were, I wouldn't be repeating myself, that's why. No, because I told... look, I told you three times, okay? Look... We'll get going in two. No, the Nagasaki merger has to happen at 15.6. That's black and white. There's no doubt about that, okay? And then you blend the assets as I pointed out in the prospectus, okay? Trust me, we'll come out of this smelling like a rose. You don't trust me? What am I, a fool? No, you're not gonna look like an idiot. If anyone looks like an idiot, it's me. Okay? Bye. Hey! Let's fuck! Slap me. I've been naughty.

Rick: [Natalie starts to slap him very hard constantly] Wow, all right. Now tell me I'm not gonna get any dessert.

Natalie: You're not getting any dessert!

Rick: What?

Natalie: And you're banned from TV and Internet for a week!

Rick: Yeah. Yeah. Tell me I can't watch Game of Thrones.

Natalie: What?

Rick: Just tell me!

Natalie: You're banned from watching Game of Thrones, you little shit!

Rick: All right, good, good, good, good, good. Yeah, tell me... Run down the whole lineup of HBO Sunday night shows.

Natalie: You're banned from watching Girls!

Rick: No!

Natalie: And Veep! No more Bored To Death!

Rick: They canceled Bored To Death.

Natalie: Um... No more Broadwalk Empire!

Rick: [Natalie starts to ride him on a bed] Ride that shit! Ride that shit! Ride that shit like Evel Knievel! Ride it! Oh god! I am gonna cum your face baby!

Rick: [Rick cums on Natalie's face] It's Sunday night. You want to watch some HBO?

Natalie: Would you pay me more?

Rick: I wasn't planning on it.

Natalie: Fuck off.

Mitch: So why do you tutor when your pulling in over a thousand bucks a night?

Natalie: Escorts have family members that ask questions too. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy teaching.

Dana: It's dangerous world out there. You every think about getting back with Sebastian?

Natalie: Hell no, I don't want a pimp, it makes it feel way too real.

Natalie: Dana, I swear to god, I can't fucking do this anymore...

Dana: Why, what happened?

Natalie: I'm fine, I'm just like a little bit rattled... Fucking scumbag!

Dana: What, he tried to stick it in that beautiful ass again?

Natalie: No, he's just a drunk, coked-out bullshit...

Natalie: ...You still think my ass is beautiful?