The Dead Don't Die Quotes

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Is our plan to inform people about the zombie danger before it gets dark?

Chief Cliff Robertson: I guess so.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Because we passed Farmer Miller's place a little while ago, do we need to inform him?

Chief Cliff Robertson: Fuck Farmer Miller.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Oh ok.

Chief Cliff Robertson: Those are some pretty good cuts. You played some minor league ball didn't you?

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Well, a little class a, it was a long time ago.

Officer Mindy Morrison: Guys, shouldn't we be telling each other that it's all gonna be okay? That this will all go away, like a bad dream? Ronnie?

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Gee, Mindy, I'm not sure I can say that.

Officer Mindy Morrison: Cliff? Please?

Chief Cliff Robertson: It's all gonna be okay, Mindy. Maybe it'll all just go away, like a bad dream.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: I doubt it.

[last lines]

Hermit Bob: What a fucked-up world.

Chief Cliff Robertson: What do you think did this?

Officer Ronnie Peterson: I'm thinking zombies.

Chief Cliff Robertson: What?

Officer Ronnie Peterson: You know, the undead. Ghouls.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: This is definitely going to end badly.

Chief Cliff Robertson: Shut up, Ronnie.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: No, you shut up.

Officer Mindy Morrison: She's strange.

Chief Cliff Robertson: She's Scottish.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: She's Scottish?

Officer Mindy Morrison: Is she alive?

Officer Ronnie Peterson: No, she is undead.

[first lines]

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Yuck.

Officer Mindy Morrison: Wow. The diner sure does the world's best coffee, doesn't it?

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Yeah, but how can you drink it to so late? Won't it keep you up?

Officer Mindy Morrison: No, I sleep like a baby. Except maybe when I know there's a corpse waiting for me at work.

Chief Cliff Robertson: Is that really Fern and Lily in there?

Officer Mindy Morrison: That WAS Fern and Lily. But now...

[repeated line]

Officer Ronnie Peterson: Oh man, this isn't gonna end well.

Zelda Winston: [when her two corpses sit up] So, the dead just don't wanna die today, is that it?

Zelda Winston: [draws her samurai sword and smoothly slices their heads off] That's a shame. I had them looking so bonny.

Officer Ronnie Peterson: [holding a head] For now they're just dead hipsters, but they haven't turned yet. It can take a while.

Chief Cliff Robertson: [serenely about zombies at the door] Well, look at all of you. So very ravenous, yet well past your expiration date.

[draws her sword]

Zelda Winston: [serenely about zombies at the door] Well, look at all of you. So very ravenous, yet well past your expiration date.

[draws her sword]