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Artie: I've got nibbles.
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Artie: Hands up if you like sheep muck. Hands up if you like cow pee. Hands up if you like dog fart. Hands up if you like me.
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Katy: Will you do one more thing for me, Joe?
Joe Warr: Anything.
Katy: Buy that convertible.
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[first lines]
Joe Warr: [narrating] I don't know whether you've ever seen a map of a person's mind. Doctors sometimes draw maps of other parts of you, and your own map can become intensely interesting. But catch them trying to draw a map of a child's mind, which is not only confused, but keeps going round all the time. There is zig-zag lines on it, just like your temperature on a card. And these are probably roads in the island, for the Neverland is always, more or less, an island.
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Artie: Daddy.
Joe Warr: What is it, sweet heart?
Artie: I want to die.
Joe Warr: Do you? Why?
Artie: So I can be with mommy.
Artie: Don't worry daddy, I'll stay down here with you for now.
Joe Warr: Thanks.
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Laura: Do you want to say something about the cat?
Artie: Cat food looks better than it tastes.
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Harry: [opening the car door] Wow, it's boiling!
Joe Warr: Oh, this is nothing. It's not proper summer here until the steering wheel's too hot to hold.
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Joe Warr: I run a pretty loose ship. Basically I've found that the more rules there are, the more crimes are created. So, fewer rules. Fewer, but bigger rules. No interrupting adults...
Harry: Why not?
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Joe Warr: I *did* love your mother very much, you know.
Harry: Then why did you leave?
Joe Warr: Married couples in my mother and father's generation stayed together for the sake of the children. We divorced for the same reason.
Harry: So you divorced for my sake?
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Joe Warr: Seems like the right thing to do. Maybe.
Laura: What do you want me to say?
Joe Warr: Personally, I find nothing is often best.
The Boys Are Back Quotes
Extended Reading
