The Babysitter Quotes

Bee: I know it was you, Fredo. I know it was you.

Allison: Was that Lord of the Rings?

Max: Did you just blow up Sonya?

[Cole looks behind at the crawlspace where Sonya got blown up]

Cole: [hesitantly] No.

Cole: [after he locks Melanie in the room they hid in] I'm really excited we kissed.

Melanie: Me too. Let's make out next time.

Cole: [pauses] Okay, bye.

Allison: [Cole fumbles for a knife, but Allison finds it first] Yoo-hoo! Looking for this? You still think I'm pretty?

[She corners Cole and he gets out a lighter to defend himself]

Allison: Oh, you think I'm scared of a little fire, huh? You are dying. You are dying! You ruined my life. And now I'm gonna ruin yours!

[Screams and lunges toward Cole, but at that moment Bee blows her head off with her gun splattering blood all over Cole]

Bee: Holy shit!

John: [walking into Cole's room while Cole is pretending to be asleep] Boy, this kid's hobby must be getting bullied. He's reading The Secret? He's like 10 years old.

Sonya: [talking to Bee about Cole] Won't he hear us?

Bee: With the amount of drugs I gave him? Hell, no.

Sonya: [while petting Cole's hair] Good boy, pretty boy.

Bee: Do you have the needle?

[Cole's eyes open in horror]

Sonya: Course I have the needle.

Sonya: [having been alerted to Cole's presence by a spider falling into a mouse trap] Hi, Cole.

Cole: [to himself] Oh, god.

Melanie: [having just kissed Cole, who has a look of shock on his face] What?

Cole: The last guy I saw get kissed got stabbed in the head with two knives.

Melanie: [smiles] Just because she's a psychopath doesn't mean all women are evil.

[last lines]

Cole: [to his parents] I don't need a babysitter anymore.

Sonya: [Cole has escaped her and she is coming after him] I'm gonna make sure you hurt before you die, Cole! Cut your fingers off, every single one!

[Cole sprays bug spray into the crawlspace, igniting the flames of the firework and causing an explosion that blows Cole back]

Sonya: I'm still alive, motherfu-

[second explosion kills her completely]

Bee: You never told me your intergalactic dream team.

Cole: You didn't ask.

Bee: I should have. I'm usually really good at that stuff.

Cole: Admiral Adama to lead. Data for his intelligence and cool head. Predator to fight. And me and you.

Bee: You didn't say we could add ourselves.

Cole: It's science fiction you can do anything.

Bee: Well, I guess that's true. But don't you get it yet? I am the big bad.

Cole: I loved you. I don't care about your dumb book or your stupid cult. I'm an adult, because when I realized you were the big bad and you were going to hurt other kids, I drove a stolen car through you.

Allison: Look at this shit. That would go viral so hard. I mean nobody's done human sacrifice.

Sonya: People have always done human sacrifice.

Allison: Yeah but like, not in America with hot people.

Cole: Why is he shirtless?

John: That's your first question?

Bee: You know what, you're Don Draper, from Mad Men. How he's all cool, and handsome, and everybody loves him, and then he goes home and you find out he has a wife this whole time. He's such a piece of shit!

Bee: Did you just ruin Mad Men for me?

Sonya: Do you even know what an orgy is?

Cole: I'm guessing it's something sad people do cause they want other sad people to like them and they can forget for one minute how sad they are in general.

Max: That's actually a pretty good answer.