The Ant Bully Quotes

Hova: Cross my heart, I will not eat you.

Lucas Nickle: Cross your heart, not your butt!

[from trailer]

Lucas Nickle: He's come to wipe out the entire colony! We can work together to stop him.

Zoc: [glares at crystal in hand] Kraznoks! You... rock. Curse upon your children.

Hova: Hmm. I don't think rocks have children.

Zoc: [throws crystal to the ground] They won't now.

Hova: Okay. What's the matter?

Zoc: Hova, the potion is supposed to change color. It's not changing color. It's not changing color.

[grabs two more rocks]

Zoc: I call upon the elements: Wind, rain, et cetera. Transform my potion and clacktiel.

[beats the crystals together. Nothing happens. He gets frustrated]

Zoc: Clackteil, clackteil...

[beats the crystals violently together]

Lucas Nickle: [running] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fugax: Does anybody know what an "AHHHHHHHH!" is?

Fugax: [Frog lands behind him and he turns around] I think I just figured it out

Hova: [entering Lucas' house] Do all of your guests pass under this door?

Lucas Nickle: Well, actually, you guys are the first friends I've had over.

Hova: We are the first ones? Kreela! We're the first ones to pass under the door!

Kreela: Great...

Fugax: And to think, all of this is made from your own POOP!

[sniffs]

Fugax: Nice...

Zoc: But - But who will teach him our ways?

Hova: I will.

Zoc: Hova?

Queen Ant: It is done. Let us continue our work.

Lucas Nickle: That's it? How long am I gonna be like this? I want to go home! Wait! It's inhuman!

Head of Council: Yes. It is.

Head of Council: War with the humans? That's impossible.

Zoc: A wizard knows no such word.

Drone Ant: He's so soft. His skeleton is on the inside.

Ant #4: So he's inside out?

Drone Ant, Ant #4: Eww!

Doreen Nickle: Where's your brother?

Tiffany Nickle: Still locked in his room, hiding from society.

Fly: [inside the frog, responding to Glow Worm's negativity] Why can't you be more like, hey Lenny!

[squeezes a smiling floating head]

Fly: This is what I'm talkin' about!

[pulls "Lenny" up, he is just a head]

Fly: Lenny always has a smile on his face...

[Lenny's eye droops, fly looks, then throws him]

Fly: AHHHHHHH! Let me out! Let me out! I don't wanna be a toadstool!

[repeated line]

Zoc: Clacktiel!

Zoc: You know what this is? This is the potion that will make you big again. I just wanted you to take a good, long look at it. Because this is the last time you will ever see it.

Lucas Nickle: What do you mean?

Zoc: I mean there is no way I'm ever going to make you big again.

[chuckles]

Zoc: Ever. You are a threat to every ant in this colony. Especially to Hova.

Lucas Nickle: But I would never do anything to hurt Hova. I just - I - I just wanna go home.

Zoc: Well, then, if I were you, I'd try to find help somewhere else, because there is nothing for you here. Nothing.

Mommo: [seeing Lucas through her binoculars] What are you doing out of bed, tiny Lucas?

[screams]

Tiffany Nickle: [on the phone] This is Tiff. Hi, Mom. Yeah, everything's fine. Lucas is being a pest. He's in his room playing his stupid video games.

Lucas Nickle: [to Fugax rolling a purple jelly bean] No, no!

[Hova and Kreela also try to get Fugax to hide. Fugax waves to them like everything's fine]

Tiffany Nickle: I will. I will. Okay, Mom. Yes. I'm hugging the phone too. Uh-huh. Bye

[hangs up]

Hova: [to Lucas] Hello. We mean you no harm.

[seconds later]

Hova: Please. Go in peace.

Zoc: Look out!

[grabs Hova before Lucas was about to crush her with is foot]

Stan Beals: Hello.

[Lucas screams and turns around. Stan laughs]

Stan Beals: Yep. I was about your age when I flooded my first colony.

[chuckles]

Stan Beals: Brother, those were good times. Good times!

Lucas Nickle: Uh, who are you?

Stan Beals: Stan Beals is the name.

[throws magnet to Lucas]

Stan Beals: Beals-A-Bug Pest Control. Exterminator, eradicator, solver of problems.

[laughs]

Stan Beals: Hey, you must be the Nickle boy, right? Now, your dad ordered my services, but he forgot to sign the contract before he left. Busy Man. Lot on his mind. It happens. So he just told me to talk to you... er...

Lucas Nickle: Lucas.

Stan Beals: Yeah, Lucas. He said "You have my son Lucas sign the contract for me if I happen to forget to before I leave. He's a grown man now." His exact words

[hands contract and pen to Lucas]

Lucas Nickle: Hmm. I don't know. Do you have any references?

Stan Beals: References?

[kills fly from his cigar]

Stan Beals: There's one.

[laughs and slaps a fly on his face]

Lucas Nickle: I don't think I should.

Stan Beals: You don't think you should. You don't think? So who does your thinking for you? Your mommy? Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what do I do? I'm just a little baby that can't think for myself. Please wipe my little bottom for me. Wipe me. Oh, oh, please, wipe me. Wah wah wah wah wah.

Lucas Nickle: Give me that stupid contract.

[snatches contract from Beals' hands]

Stan Beals: Yes, sir. A very mature decision. "Enjoy a world that's entirely bug free/Just sign right here and leave the killing to me". I wrote that.

Lucas Nickle: [as Lucas and the ants fly around the house with rose petals] This is Hawaii. We went there last summer. It's got volcanoes and hula dancers and Don Ho and surfboards. And I caught a fish. And these are the pyramids. And these are the pyramids. Well, not the real pyramids. The real ones are lots bigger. Mommo says aliens built them. She's my grandma.

[they fly over to the next fan towards the family picture]

Hova: Oh, are these your nest mates?

Lucas Nickle: Yeah, that's my family.

Hova: Ooh. Which one's the queen?

Lucas Nickle: My sister thinks she is.

[sighs]

Hova: What's wrong?

Lucas Nickle: Nothing, it's just, well... I should have told my mom goodbye. That's all. I can be a real jerk sometimes.

[he cries]

Hova: Lucas, your face is leaking.

Lucas Nickle: Leaking? Oh, no, it's okay.

Hova: Is that what humans do when they're sad? They leak from the face? When ants are sad, we do this:

[shows sad face with big eyes]

Hova: Where's Lucas?

Zoc: Isn't he with you?

Hova: No.

Zoc: Lucas? Lucas? Huh. That's weird. Well, he's probably off destroying some other poor, unfortunate colony. You know how they are. Destroyers.

Hova: Zoc, what have you done?

Zoc: Me? What did I do?

Hova: Where is he?

Zoc: He's gone.

[Hova worried about Lucas was about to rush out]

Zoc: He led you into a trap, Hova.

Hova: There was no trap. He led us to food. He was trying to protect us from...

Zoc: From what? What, Hova?

Hova: From something.

Zoc: Oh, something!

[laughs]

Zoc: And I was worried it was from nothing. He's blinded you, Hova.

Hova: No, you are the one who's blind. You are so consumed by your hatred for the humans, you see only what you want to see

Zoc: Oh, come on.

Hova: Zoc, I see a young pupa, a human learning our ways becoming part of this colony, becoming an ant.

Zoc: Impossible.

Hova: Listen to yourself, Zoc. A wizard knows no such word. So, what are you now? Certainly not the ant I love.

[walks away]

Zoc: Hova! I did it for you, for the colony.

Hova: You did it for yourself.

Zoc: Hova, I...

Fugax: The pain, the pain! Oh. It's unbearable. Just put me out of my misery!

Kreela: Oh, hold still, you big pupa. I haven't even touched you yet.

Fugax: Be gentle with me. Ruff.

Queen Ant: Greetings, my children... and to our unusual guest. A human that threatens the very existence of our colony.

Lucas Nickle: Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. How was I supposed to know ants have feelings or families or trials? You're just a bunch of stupid ants.

Queen Ant: Be still, be still. Tonight we have a choice. We could destroy this human and make safe this day. Or we could change the nature of his human and perhaps create a brighter future for all ants. I therefore the human to live and work in the colony to learn our ways. He must become an ant.

Lucas Nickle, Zoc: What?

Zoc: No. No, my queen. What if he does not become an ant? Okay, I mean, come on.

Queen Ant: That would be regrettable.

Fred Nickle: Adios, mi famiglia.

Tiffany Nickle: Whatever.

Doreen Nickle: Bye, Tiff. Bye, Lucas. I love you.

Fred Nickle: You kids mind your grandma.

Mommo: Okay, goodbye. Have fun. Don't worry, everything's under control.

[her teeth suddenly slips out of her mouth. She tries to catch them but they fell into the grass]

Mommo: A little help, please.

Tiffany Nickle: [to Lucas] I think it's your turn.

Mommo: Teeth in the grass.

Kreela: What are you doing? Why aren't you taking the red ones?

Fugax: Well, it's actually quite simple, sugar lips. I hate the red ones.

Kreela: Well, I love the red ones.

Fugax: Hate them.

Kreela: I love them!

Fugax: Hate, hate, hate.

Kreela: Love, love.

Fugax: Admit it, you find me attractive.

Kreela: What?

Fugax: Oh, how you tease me with your sweet talk.

Kreela: Oh, you want some sweet talk? Because I'll give you some sweet talk.

[grabs antennas]

Kreela: Now grab a red one before I pull these off.

Fugax: Whoa, I need those.

Lucas Nickle: Come on, man. I'm running out of underwear.

Mullet Boy: Well, what are you gonna do about it, huh? Nothing. Because I'm big and you're small.

Nicky: Yeah. Because he's big and you're small.

Mullet Boy: [Mullet Boy hits Nicky at the back of the head] Hey.

Mullet Boy: Quit repeating everything I say.

Nicky: I was just adding emphasis, dude.

[Mullet boy flicks Nicky's ear]

Nicky: Ow. Man, why you gotta be hating?

Lucas Nickle: It's funny. The sky looks exactly the same. Everything else is so different but it's the same sky, the same stars.

[he yawns]

Zoc: Why must you keep doing that? Are you ill?

Lucas Nickle: What? Oh, you mean yawning. I'm just tired.

Zoc: Please stop. It's disgusting.

Lucas Nickle: Ants don't yawn?

Zoc: Uh, definitely not, thank you.

Lucas Nickle: [Yawns]

Zoc: [Disgusted sighs] So this city of yours, it's like a nest?

Lucas Nickle: Well, yeah. Kind of.

Zoc: And the humans that live there are all brothers working together for the greatness of their colony?

Lucas Nickle: Well, not exactly. It's a little more like, you know, every man for himself.

Zoc: But that's so primitive. How does anything get done?

Lucas Nickle: Some people work together.

Zoc: Some. Why not all?

Lucas Nickle: I suppose it's because of their differences.

Zoc: But it's the differences that make a colony strong. Foragers, scouts, drones, nurses, regurgitators all are different but an essential part of the whole. This is where we ants draw our strength.

Lucas Nickle: My differences just get me beat up.

Zoc: And why is that?

Lucas Nickle: I don't know. Some humans prefer to clobber people they don't understand.

Zoc: Like you prefer to clobber ants.

Lucas Nickle: I guess I didn't think about what I was doing. Seems to happen a lot.

[he yawns]

Zoc: Zoc: I suppose sometimes I, too, can act without thinking. Heh. Perhaps in this way, we are alike.

[he yawns widely as he drifted off to sleep]

Zoc: Good night, Lucas.

Lucas Nickle: Good night, Zoc.

Doreen Nickle: [an engrossed Lucas is sitting behind the chair alone playing a game] Lucas, what are you doing back there? Why didn't you answer? Are you all right, sweetie?

Lucas Nickle: I'm fine, Mom. I was just playing with my friends.

Doreen Nickle: I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't go on vacation.

Fred Nickle: Come on, it's our big wedding anniversary. We're going to Puerco Vallarta. And I gotta spend a little quality time with the mamacita.

Lucas Nickle: Don't cancel your vacation just because of me. I can solve my own problems.

Doreen Nickle: Problems? What problems? Does it have to do anything with why I can't find your underwear?

Lucas Nickle: [Grumpier] No!

Doreen Nickle: Bed-wetting is nothing to be ashamed of, Peanut.

Lucas Nickle: What? Just stop it, Mom! I don't have any problems except for you treating me like a baby!

Doreen Nickle: [Gasps] Peanut?

Lucas Nickle: Stop calling me that! Just go away and leave me alone.

Hova: Peanut, you need to...

Lucas Nickle: My name is Lucas, not Peanut! Lu--cas!