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Otis: For half a dozen guys unloading on you so you look like a melted candle today we will gladly pay you on Tuesday. I don't know who's gonna go for that one...
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Otis: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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Andy Sargentee: [commenting on the screenplay for the porn] And then here, this is my favourite, 99: "Interior office day; Boris gives it to Bianka in the butt, as she defuses the bomb."
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Otis: I'm in. Except for no money, it's a no-brainer for me. First off, making a stag film *has* to be a good time. Number two, my hat's off to you. Good job. We can do this. Wha-what are we talking about here? Making a dirty movie - film, whatever, whatever. What does that require? Pointing a camera at a he and a she... he'in and a-she'in.
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Otis: Who wants to get laid?
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Andy Sargentee: I don't do, Ok, I try. And I'm trying to make a porno because it's something I might be able to do. Because it's killing me I haven't done anything. You know, people who do, they have extra time, not us trying people, we're busy trying all the time. Nothing takes up more time than trying.
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V: It's so good to see you.
Otis: [responding to V rubbing him between the legs at the strip club] 'Bout time they got rid of shakin' hands.
V: [still rubbing Otis between his legs] Do you mind?
Otis: Do I mind if you rub my dick? No. Saves me the trouble. I'm trying to think of the last time I was asked a question that stupid.
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Some Idiot: These are your penises? Andy, I can't work with this!
The Amateurs Quotes
Extended Reading
