Superman vs. The Elite Quotes

Lois Lane: [watching a cartoon of Superman] Wow, okay. Ha-ha. That's uh... Wow. It never occurred to me that the S stood for "silly."

Clark Kent: It wasn't that bad.

Lois Lane: When have you ever said "crime doesn't pay"?

Lois Lane: It's a given that I am getting the scoop on these newbies, right?

Clark Kent: Not unless you can type 5,000 words a minute.

Lois Lane: Do not make me unleash my feminine wiles on you, Clark Kent.

Superman: Sorry there's no movie.

Lois Lane: Don't try to be cute. You're lucky I'm letting you fly me there. Once we hit the ground, it's every reporter for herself.

Superman: Unless I get something really juicy.

Lois Lane: Ah. Learning.

Lois Lane: If she knows anything, I'm the Martian Manhunter.

Superman: There go all of my fantasies.

Superman: Let's start with your name.

Manchester Black: Manchester Black. Aspiring do-gooder and all-around pain in the ass at your service.

Superman: Sorry. I heard your telepathic shout before. But my mind is protected from anything deeper by a series of psychic blocks.

Manchester Black: Best I've seen too. Got a few skeletons rattling around up there you don't want out? I'm not looking for you deepest, darkest. Showing is faster than telling. And I hate to hear my own voice, believe it or not.

Coldcast: Don't believe him. Only thing shuts him up is a soccer game.

Manchester Black: Football, you uneducated Yank.

Lois Lane: [watches Superman being kissed by Menagerie] So was it the trashy outfit, or should I start gluing slugs to my face? Maybe an iguana.

Clark Kent: It was a moment. Pam was overexcited.

Lois Lane: Pam? One team up and she's Pam?

Clark Kent: We saved a few hundred people, Lois. What can I say? They're new and... excitable.

Lois Lane: That excitability better stay one-sided... though you don't exactly sound like a fan.

Clark Kent: Not sure I am.

Robot: The metahumans designated the Elite are not anywhere within the range of our scanners, Kal-El. Their message was downloaded through a post-dimensional probability channel.

Lois Lane: I think my phone has an app for that.

Superman: It means they're hiding between dimensions. Impossible to track.

Robot: Though we are currently processing 3,500,405 Internet hits on the Elite.

Superman: How many of them are informational?

Robot: Zero.

Lois Lane: How many of them contain the phrase: "These guys rock"?

Robot: 2,800,000.

Menagerie: You got terrorist on you.

The Hat: Ick.

[flicks blood off his coat]

Menagerie: [looking at Superman] Even with his ass kicked, it's still a fine ass.

Coldcast: Remember who kicked it, baby.

Pa Kent: Been a lot of talk. Not much it good. Had to put a slap on Ben Farnsworth on account of he said you looked the fool.

Clark Kent: I did, Pa.

Pa Kent: They sucker-punched you.

Clark Kent: Sucker-teleported, technically. So even Smallville's rooting for the Elite.

Pa Kent: Well, just the loud, angry and stupid.

Clark Kent: Come on, it's not that simple. I don't think that I make them feel safe anymore. The way I do things.

Pa Kent: Clark, when people are scared, they have a tendency to hop on a bandwagon before they see who's driving it. But when they wise up, and believe me, they will, what matters is that you'll be there for them. Leading by examples just like always. Truth, justice and the American way. It ain't broke, so don't fix it.

Clark Kent: Thanks, Pa.

Pa Kent: Besides, if those knuckleheads don't quit tugging on your cape, you can always kick their self-righteous asses to kingdom come.

Manchester Black: [to Atomic Skull] You're buggered, mate. Give my regards to Satan then.

Superman: No. He's going back to Stryker's.

Manchester Black: Back to jail? Are you daft? This is what happens. More pain, more suffering.

Superman: We are not the law. We do not...

Terrence Baxter: Kill him. Kill him.

Superman: I'm sorry.

Terrence Baxter: [to Superman] It's your fault. You beat him already. You did it you way and...

Manchester Black: And he failed. Is that the world you want? Or should monsters like this get what they deserve? Say it, kid.

Superman: No.

Terrence Baxter: Do it.

Lois Lane: Clark. Clark. I called Kansas and Ma said you're not there. So pick up your stupid hologram thing or I'll kick your butt when you get home.

Superman: Sweet-talker.

Lois Lane: Yeah, well. Not really.

Superman: I'm going to say this once. Surrender now, face judgment for your crimes or...

Manchester Black: Stop. There is no "or" in this conversation. Because you don't have the stones to do to us what we'd do to you in a heartbeat.

Menagerie: He might have the stones to do me.

Manchester Black: Pam, I'm handing out ultimatums. Please, keep it in your pants.

Manchester Black: You probably won't believe this, but I used to love superheroes. But masks are for hiding. Capes are for play. You were the first. The best. But you're a cliché and you don't fit in anymore. Mad scientists, idiots in underwear, bank robbers, knock yourself out with that lot. But the real work, fixing the world, is ours. Starting tomorrow with Bialya.

Superman: I'm shutting you down.

Manchester Black: Right.

Manchester Black: [holding a piece of Superman's cape] How is it that no matter how badly you massacre one of these thong-and-blanket types some shred of their unmentionables still survives the blast?

Coldcast: I did my best, boss. At least you got a trophy out of it.

Manchester Black: Strewth.

Manchester Black: Bunny, get ready to port again. The second he shows his S, I'm gonna flatten this whole city.

Coldcast: Chester, wait...

[Coldcast vanishes, a pile of cars and debris is sent flying at Manchester]

Manchester Black: Holy sh... Where did he go? Where did he freaking go?

Superman: Orbit. He went into orbit at Mach 7.

Manchester Black: You're not dying. I'm thinking it, but why can't I feel my power?

Superman: I scanned your brain for abnormalities. And when I found one, I cut it out.

Manchester Black: What?

Superman: Heat vision. Focused through your pupils like a scalpel. Instant lobotomy.

Manchester Black: You think that's it? It's not over, you poncy twit. If you think I'll just go to jail and rot, you're living in a dream world!

Superman: Good. Dreams save us. Dreams lift us up and transform us into something better. And on my soul, I swear that until my dream of a world where dignity, honor and justice are the reality we all share, I'll never stop fighting. Ever.

The Hat: Hang tight! Everyone knows Superman can't do magic!

[flies into the whirlwind]

The Hat: Here's a little ancient Chinese secret...

[starts to choke]

Coldcast: How? He's shielded by magic...!

Manchester Black: Mate, that wind is clocking in at five hundred miles a minute! His body may not be taking any hits, but his lungs've collapsed from the vacuum!

Superman: I finally get it. Thank you... I made the mistake of treating you people like, people. Now, I understand better... I understand now what the world wants, what it NEEDS. The world needs people in charge, willing to put the animals DOWN!

[raises a whirlwind on the Elite]

[Superman is going to kill Manchester Black]

Manchester Black: [weeping with fear] This isn't you... you don't do this!

Superman: I do, now.

Lois Lane: When...?

Clark Kent: Dawn, I guess.

Lois Lane: Why did you have to do this? Why can't you call someone else?

Clark Kent: The Elite didn't take the fight to anyone else. They chose me.

Lois Lane: No, you went after them!

Clark Kent: They're slaughtering people and laughing about it.

Lois Lane: Black can punch a hole through a mountain by thinking! The Hat tosses around demons like trained birds, and Pam...

Clark Kent: They have to be stopped!

Lois Lane: I think they can beat you!... I'm sorry. But they're willing to go places you won't. And they're so damn strong...

Clark Kent: I heard a child say that he wanted to be in the Elite when he grows up, because it would be fun to kill bad guys. Fun to kill... People have to know that there's another way. They have to see that someone believes in humanity strongly enough to...

Lois Lane: ...to die for them?

[they kiss]

[Superman lands in front of Black]

Superman: If you had super-hearing, any second you'd hear the... pop!

[in a crowded area of Metropolis]

Manchester Black: He won't do anything here, not with the sheep around us!

The Hat: I'm getting a tight sphincter here, Chester...

Manchester Black: Shut your gob!

Menagerie: OW! Something bit me!

[sees a Superman dart]

Manchester Black: Bit you?

[Menagerie collapses, all her alien beings crawl out of her]

Coldcast: PAM! DO SOMETHING!

Manchester Black: Do what? He's poisoned her suit, the buggers want out!

The Hat: He was supposed to be dead...

[Menagerie is suddenly silent]

Coldcast: She's not breating! Damnit, Chester!

The Hat: She's dead...

Manchester Black: Bugger me! He's playing it OUR way!

Coldcast: I call kneecaps.

The Hat: Spine.

Menagerie: Other.

Superman: The grace of mankind is everywhere. You just have to open your eyes. Humanity has a limitless potential for good. My purpose is to help people reach that potential.

Bialyian Ambassador: [speaks Bialyian] Tamarev! Tamarev is under attack! What have you people done?

Pokolistani Ambassador: How dare you! Pokolistan holds to the treaty!

Bialyian Ambassador: Liar! My people are dying in the streets!

Pokolistani Ambassador: No less than they deserve.

Efrain: Limitless potential for good?

Superman: Good isn't perfect. I have to go. To be continued, professor?

[he flies off while the ambassadors of Bialyia and Pokolistan argue]

Superman: Hat, form a perimeter. Coldcast, can you absorb energy or just project it?

Coldcast: Hell's yes. If I can get that sucker before he gets me.

Manchester Black: Oi. You can't boss my team.

Lois Lane: You ever scare me like that again, I'll kill you.

Superman: If I ever scare me like that again, it's a deal.

Lois Lane: Can we go so I can kiss you now?

Vera Black: You're barking up the wrong forest. As far as MI-5 is concerned, there is no Manchester Black.

Lois Lane: And are you here to tell me differently, or am I about to get shot in the face?

Vera Black: [stepping out of the shadows] The world needs to know what they're dealing with.

Lois Lane: [she offers a flash drive] Vera?

Vera Black: Ches isn't the only one who went to work for the Queen and had his history wiped. Hope it helps.

Lois Lane: Why?

Vera Black: Because my brother is misguided and angry, but he saved my life. I'd like to save his, if I can.

Superman: You're right about me. I would never put civilians in harm's way. I won't kill. But you would. So I made sure I had backup. As for your people... they're fine. Nursing headaches I don't even wanna think about. But very much alive as they're stripped of their powers and prepped for transport to a supermax prison. That's why I had to let you knock me around for so long. I didn't have a nifty teleporter.

Manchester Black: Bunny, you rotten clod, get me out of...

Superman: But I do now. You'd be surprised how fast Bunny agreed to help me when one of the super-bots promised to return her to her home dimension.

Manchester Black: [on the surface of the Moon] Here's a nice slice of pitch to play on. Thank Bunny for the oxygen. Not that you need it, but we mere mortals... Figure you got a speech prepped.

Superman: I've tried to reason with you. I've tried to show you there's another way. I'm begging you to help me end this without further bloodshed. Stand down and be judged for your crimes. And maybe we can all get out of this in one piece.

Manchester Black: [sighing] You're an inconceivable wanker.

Lois Lane: Well, you can take the kid out of the cornfield...

Clark Kent: The producer said it would be inspirational.

Lois Lane: And who's profiting from all this so-called inspiration?

Clark Kent: Proceeds from the cartoon go to charity, Lois. And yes, I've got someone watching. And yes, we have an iron-clad contract.

Lois Lane: And do you get creative input?

Clark Kent: [dodging] Did I mention it all goes to charity?

Lois Lane: You have to protect your "S". The world is always watching Superman.

Clark Kent: Well, not always.

Lois Lane: Ooh. Smooth one, farm boy.

[he leans down to kiss her when they hear an explosion nearby]

Lois Lane: So close.

Superman: You've gone too far this time, Skull.

Atomic Skull: They were just lawyers. Come closer and we'll talk about it.

Superman: You've gotten bigger.

Atomic Skull: That genebomb that created me... it's still going off.

Superman: Why did you attack those people?

Atomic Skull: To draw out the main course, of course.

Superman: You used them for bait?

Atomic Skull: Give me a break. I do what I do, you do what you do.

Efrain: So was this justice, Superman? Millions in property damage, helpless bystanders killed by a repeat metahuman felon who's now enjoying three square meals a day as a guest of the State. You had the power to end Atomic Skull's criminal career right there permanently. Why didn't you?

Superman: I'm not anyone's judge and jury, Professor Baxter. Definitely not an executioner. My powers don't put me above the law.

Efrain: A noble sentiment. But are you the Superman that the 21st century needs? Why not use your power to fix the world? Let me reiterate that I'm playing devil's advocate. I'm a huge fan.

[laughter as he shows off his Superman wristwatch]

Terrence Baxter: Not embarrassing at all.

Lois Lane: Your dad?

[he nods]

Lois Lane: Could do worse.

Perry White: "Telekinetic. Conjured a dragon out of thin air." Outstanding, Kent. Been on the phone with your super-source?

Clark Kent: Tweeting, actually, sir.

Perry White: Take point on this. Book a flight wherever you need to go. Take Lane if she's still talking to you.

Lois Lane: Hope you like cold showers, Smallville.

Manchester Black: Quite the looker. Your reporter friend. I'm not into the golden oldies. Subspace teleport pods. All the cool HQs have 'em. So are you stalking me or are you here for the lovely scenery?

Superman: You never gave me your cell. Had to start somewhere.

Manchester Black: Quite the detective. Following the guy with the Union Jack tattooed to his chest to England? Heh. Come on, I'm just breaking your boots, Superman. The truth is I ramble when I get nervous, and I'm... I'm in a bit of a twist having a jaw with Superman.

Manchester Black: This is low-level stuff, Supes. Promise. Like telly in HD.

Superman: All right.

Manchester Black: Apologies in advance for the graphic nature of what you're about to see. Some of us had it rough in the origin department.

Superman: You killed them! Murdered the Pokolistani soldiers!

Manchester Black: No offense, but someone had to do something while you were playing spastic on the floor.

[Sees Hat discard an empty wine bottle]

Manchester Black: Oh, Hat! Every time we win a battle, he gets knackered and pukes all over the place.

[Hat gags then vomits offscreen]

Superman: This isn't a joke. You can't murder people and call yourselves heroes.

Manchester Black: Why not? Your government does it all the time. Look, Supes, when we take down the baddies, they stay down. Isn't that better for everyone?

Superman: We are not above the law. We have to show the world that there's a better way. That people can be better.

Manchester Black: But that's the problem. They can't. The world's overflowing with sick puppies. Original sin in 36 flavors.

Superman: I'm not an idiot. I know there are bad men in power. It's not a perfect world, but we can't just throw morality in the garbage.

Manchester Black: You don't have a clue what it means to live in fear, do you? To wonder why no one can stop the bogeyman who knock down skyscrapers or blow up schools. Well, we do. Human beings do. We understand fear all too well. So now we're wiping the Earth free of scum, and they love us for it.

Superman: It can't be this way. You know that. I can't allow it.

MI-5 Agent: As has been repeatedly stated, Ms. Lane, MI-5 does not confirm or deny...

Lois Lane: Forget it. I got the message loud and clear, Double-0 Useless.

Dockworker: Listen, I like Superman, sure. But the Elite will kill these murderers and terrorists. What's not to like?

Pokolistani Ambassador: The Elite are terrorists.They have allied themselves with Bialya and perpetrated acts of war against our nation.This will not be tolerated.

Civilian: I've lived in Metropolis my entire life. Superman has always been there for us. But so have those criminals he's put away so many times. Maybe his way doesn't work.

Bialyian Ambassador: Acts of aggression will no longer be tolerated and not a Superman nor a Manchester Black will stop us from defending our borders.

Civilian: Kill them all and let God sort it out. Superman's done. This is the age of the Elite.