Superman Returns Quotes

Lois Lane: But millions of people will die!

Lex Luthor: Billions! Once again, the press underestimates me.

Kitty Kowalski: Wow, that's really something Lex.

Lex Luthor: Wait for it.

Kitty Kowalski: [long pause] Wow, that's really something Lex. It's freakin' Gone with the Wind.

Lex Luthor: [angrily throws coconut into the ocean]

Kitty Kowalski: Lex! We only have six of those!

Lex Luthor: Six?

[laughs maniacally]

Lex Luthor: [screaming] I would trade three hundred THOUSAND coconuts and every ounce of your blood for a QUART OF GASOLINE!

Kitty Kowalski: But what will we have to eat?

Lex Luthor: [eyes the dog in Kitty's arms maliciously]

Lois Lane: [gasps after Lex comes out of the bathroom] Lex Luthor!

Lex Luthor: [toothbrush in mouth] Lois Lane?

Jason White: You're bald!

Lex Luthor: What do you know about crystals?

Lois Lane: They make great chandeliers.

Superman: Listen; what do you hear?

Lois Lane: Nothing.

Superman: I hear everything. You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.

Lex Luthor: This ordinary crystal is a seed, and all it needs is water.

[pause]

Kitty Kowalski: Like Sea Monkeys?

Lex Luthor: [sighs] Exactly, Kitty. Like Sea Monkeys.

Jason White: Mommy, are we trespassing?

Lois Lane: No. Yes. Shh!

Lois Lane: Well you're back and everyone seems happy about it.

Superman: Not everyone.

Kitty Kowalski: [Stomps into a room and slaps Lex across the face] I was going to pretend the brakes were out. Pretend! Like we talked about!

[Screaming]

Kitty Kowalski: You didn't actually have to cut them!

Lex Luthor: Well of course I did. A man can always tell when a woman is pretending... especially Superman.

Jimmy Olsen: Look up in the sky, see?

[Points at a small figure of Superman in the picture]

Lois Lane: It's a bird

Perry White: It's a plane

Jimmy Olsen: No, it's...

[Is interrupted by the entrance of Clark]

Clark Kent: You wanted to see me?

Bo the Bartender: Must be tough coming back.

Clark Kent: Coming back?

Bo the Bartender: To work.

Clark Kent: Thanks for giving me my job back.

Perry White: Don't thank me. Thank Norm Parker for dying!

Jimmy Olsen: It was his time.

Kitty Kowalski: Your friends give me the creeps.

Lex Luthor: Prison is a creepy place, Kitty, and one needs to make creepy friends in order to survive. On the inside, even my talents were worth less than a carton of cigarettes and a sharp piece of metal in your pocket.

Superman: I know lots of people are asking questions now that I'm back, and I think it's only fair that I answer... those people.

Lois Lane: So... you're here for an interview?

Lois Lane: You know my um... Richard. He's a pilot. He takes me up all the time.

Superman: Not like this.

Lex Luthor: Do you know the story of Prometheus? No, of course you don't. Prometheus was a god who stole the power of fire from the other gods and gave control of it to the mortals. In essence, he gave us technology, he gave us power.

Kitty Kowalski: So we're stealing fire? In the Arctic?

Lex Luthor: Actually, sort of. You see whoever controls technology controls the world. The Roman empire ruled the world because they built roads. The British empire ruled the world because they built ships. America; the atom bomb. And so on and so forth. I just want what Prometheus wanted.

Kitty Kowalski: Sounds great Lex, but you're not a god.

Lex Luthor: [fixes Kitty with an icy stare] Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind. No, I don't want to be a *god*. I just want to bring fire to the people. And... I want my cut.

Jimmy Olsen: [leans over an unsuspecting Clark who is holding a family photo of Lois, Jason, and Richard] Ha, yea! He looks just like his mom. Already takes after her too, especially when it comes to getting into trouble.

Clark Kent: [obviously confused] Mother?

Jimmy Olsen: Oh yea, well I guess you've been gone. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.

Clark Kent: [cracks the glass and winces] I'm sorry.

Jimmy Olsen: [takes the picture from Clark] It's okay. She's got plenty of them.

Clark Kent: She's married?

Jimmy Olsen: Yeah, well no, its more of a prolonged engagement, but don't ask Miss Lane when they're tying the knot because she hates that question

Perry White: [discussing headlines] Has he gained weight?

[Clark suddenly looks down]

Lex Luthor: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.

Lois Lane: You're insane.

Lex Luthor: No!

[chuckling]

Lex Luthor: Not that. The other thing. Come on, I know it's dangling on the tip of your tongue. Let me hear it just once, please?

Lois Lane: Superman will never...

Lex Luthor: WRONG!

Lex Luthor: [pulls off wig and tosses it to little girl] You can keep that.

[referring to his newly-inherited mansion]

Lex Luthor: The rest is mine.

Clark Kent: Yeah. Well, you know, things change. I mean, of course things change, but sometimes things that you didn't think would change

[struggles to find the right wording]

Clark Kent: - could - change. Take Lois. A woman like her, I never thought she'd settle down.

Jimmy Olsen: You know, if you ask me - 'cause she'll never tell you this - but, if you ask me, she's still in love with You-Know-Who.

[takes a swig of beer]

Clark Kent: [slowly turns to look disconcertedly at Jimmy, who burps obliviously]

Lois Lane: Richard's an assistant editor here who's basically saved our International section. He's also a pilot and he loves horror movies.

Clark Kent: [sighs theatrically, trying to appear impressed]

Lois Lane: [to Richard] Clark is...

Clark Kent: [smirks at her expectantly]

Lois Lane: Well...

[chuckles]

Lois Lane: he's Clark.

Lex Luthor: [spots the van riddled with bullet-holes] Run into trouble?

Grant: You should see the other guy.

Kitty Kowalski: My heart, my palpitations, they're gone, what did you do?

Superman: I didn't do anything, Ma'am.

Kitty Kowalski: [breathlessly] Call me Catharine.

Lois Lane: But there are a dozen other stories out there.

Perry White: Yeah? Name one.

Lois Lane: Well, there was a museum robbery last night. Hmm? Even Superman missed that one... he was too busy saving this hooker.

[points at photo of Superman carrying Kitty]

[leans in to kiss Superman, but pulls back at the last moment]

Lois Lane: Richard's a good man... and you've been gone a long time.

Lex Luthor: But we're not really strangers, are we? This is kind of a little reunion, isn't it? Heck, I'm a fan. I love your writing... and your dress.

Lois Lane: I love your boat. How'd you get it? Swindle some old widow out of her money?

Lex Luthor: [gushes and chuckles mockingly] That's funny. Hey, didn't you win the Pulitzer Prize for my favorite article of all time, 'Why the World DOESN'T Need Superman'?

Lois Lane: Didn't you have a few more years to go on that DOUBLE life sentence?

Lex Luthor: [pause as he glares at her] Yes, well, we can thank the Man of Steel for that. I mean, he's really good at swooping in and catching the bad guys, but he's not so hot at the little things, like Miranda rights, due process,

[under his breath]

Lex Luthor: making your court date...

[Newspaper headline reads: "SUPERMAN IS DEAD"]

Richard White: It's a little morbid, Perry.

Perry White: Always be prepared.

[last lines]

Jason White: [Yells and waves from his window] GOOD NIGHT!

Lois Lane: [Lois is standing in the front yard thinking about Superman, she is then startled when she hears Jason, she sees Jason waving out to the sky, she then looks at the sky and sees Superman floating right above her] I... Will we see you... around?

Superman: I'm always around. Good night, Lois.

[Flies off]

Superman: I read the article, Lois.

Lois Lane: Yeah, so did a lot of people. Tomorrow night, they're giving me the Pulitzer...

Superman: Why did you write it?

Lois Lane: How could you leave us like that? I moved on. So did the rest of us. That's why I wrote it. The world doesn't need a savior. And neither do I.

Lois Lane: Chief, I've done Superman.

[Jimmy snickers. Lois, Clark, and Perry look at him]

Lois Lane: Covered him. You know what I mean.

[to Superman]

Lois Lane: I forgot how warm you are.

Lex Luthor: Kitty, what did my father used to say to me?

Kitty Kowalski: You're losing your hair.

Lex Luthor: Before that.

Kitty Kowalski: Get out.

Lex Luthor: He said: You can print money, manufacture diamonds, and people are a dime a dozen, but they'll always need land. It's the one thing they're not making any more of.

Lois Lane: How did you get here?

Richard White: I flew.

Lex Luthor: See anything familiar?

Superman: I see an old man's sick joke.

Lex Luthor: Really? Because I see my new apartment. And a place for Kitty. One for my friends. And the place over there, I'll rent out. But, you know, maybe you're right. You know, maybe it - It is a little cold. It's, uh - Uh - What's the word I'm searching for? It's a little... alien. It lacks that human touch.

Clark Kent: Jimmy how did Lex Luthor get out of prison?

Jimmy Olsen: When his appeals came up, they called Superman as a witness, and he never showed. How much do you think that pisses off Superman?

Clark Kent: A lot.

Jimmy Olsen: A lot

Jason White: Who are you?

Clark Kent: I'm Clark... Kent. An old friend of your mom's from before you were born.

Jason White: Really? She never mentioned you.

Clark Kent: [shocked slightly] Really?... Never?

Richard White: It's great to finally meet you, I've heard so much.

Clark Kent: [looks at Lois] Oh, you have?

Richard White: Yeah. Jimmy just won't shut up about you.

Kitty Kowalski: Lex?

Lex Luthor: [lighting a cigar] Uh-huh?

Kitty Kowalski: Are billions of people really going to die?

[beat; Luthor takes a puff from the cigar]

Lex Luthor: [indifferently] Yes.

Grant: Brutus is... dead. He got hit with the piano.

Lex Luthor: Where's the boy?

Grant: With the mother, locked up in the pantry.

Lex Luthor: Oh, it's time for us to go

Kitty Kowalski: [about Kryptonian technology] Sounds like a lot of hocus-pocus to me.

Lex Luthor: Well, naturally. To the primitive mind, any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from magic.

[Arthur C. Clarke's "Third Law" from "Profiles of the Future," 1973]

Richard White: Lois, that article you wrote.

Lois Lane: "Why the world doesn't need Superman?"

Richard White: No the other one.

Lois Lane: Which one? I wrote dozens of them, I was practically his press agent.

Richard White: The one from years ago before we met, "I spent the night with Superman".

Lois Lane: Richard it was the title of an interview plus it was your Uncle Perry's idea.

Richard White: I know.

Richard White: Were you in love with him?

Lois Lane: He was Superman. Everyone was in love with him.

Richard White: Even you?

Lois Lane: [pause] ... No.

Lois Lane: Well, you're back and everyone seems happy about it.

Superman: Not everyone.

[Lex notices Jason staring at the Kryptonite in fear]

Lex Luthor: Who is that boy's father?

Lois Lane: Richard.

[Grant's voice comes over the intercom]

Grant: Mr. Luthor, we're approaching the coordinates.

Lex Luthor: [to Lois, ignoring Grant] Are you sure?

Grant: [misunderstanding] Yes sir.

Lex Luthor: Turn the camera off.

Riley: But I'm getting it.

Lex Luthor: Turn it off!

Riley: [turns off the camera and the lights go out] I think I did somethin' wrong.

Lex Luthor: No... that wasn't you.

[first lines]

Jor-El: You will travel far my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you. Even in the face of our deaths. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father, the - The son.

Richard White: So, with the superhearing, does he hear each sound by itself or everything all at once?

Lois Lane: Both.

Richard White: He's certainly a lot taller than I thought.

Lois Lane: Let's start with the big question. Where'd you go?

Superman: To Krypton.

Lois Lane: But you told me it was destroyed. Ages ago.

Superman: It was. But when astronomers thought they found it... I had to see for myself.

Lois Lane: Did you have anything to do with the blackout?

Lex Luthor: Are you fishing for an interview, Ms. Lane?

Lois Lane: Well, it has been a while since you've been a headline. Maybe it's time people knew your name again.

Lois Lane: Clark said the reason you left without saying goodbye is because it was too unbearable for you. Personally, I think that's a load of crap.

Superman: Clark?

Lois Lane: He's just a guy I work with.

Superman: Maybe Clark's right.

Richard White: Lois! Are you all right?

Lois Lane: Yeah. What happened?

Richard White: Superman.

Lois Lane: Where is he?

Richard White: He went back.

Lois Lane: Richard, we have to turn around.

Richard White: What?

Lois Lane: We have to turn the plane around.

Richard White: No.

Lois Lane: Yes.

Richard White: Lois, we barely made it out of there. Now you want me to go back?

Lois Lane: Yes, please! He'll die.

Jason White: [visiting the comatose Superman] Is he gonna get better?

Lois Lane: I don't know.

Jason White: I want him to. I like him.

Lois Lane: Me, too.

Superman: [blowing out Lois' cigarette lighter] You know, you really shouldn't smoke, Ms. Lane.

[noticing her jump]

Superman: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.

Lois Lane: No, I'm fine. Really. I just wasn't expecting... you.

Richard White: I bet he's...

Lois Lane: 225 pounds, faster than a speeding bullet, draws his power from the sun, invulnerable to anything but kryptonite... and he never lies.

Richard White: Kryptonite?

Lois Lane: Radioactive pieces of his homeworld. It's deadly. To him.

Lois Lane: [to Clark, unaware he is Superman] . Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever met someone, and it even tough you are from different worlds you share such a strong connection it feels like you were destined to be together? And then suddenly he just takes off without saying why or even saying goodbye!

Clark Kent: Well, maybe he wanted to say goodbye. But maybe it was... he had to go... .. and it was too difficult for him.

Lois Lane: Difficult? What's so difficult it? Bye! It's easy! What's so difficult about saying goodbye!

Clark Kent: Uh, who are we talking about?

Lois Lane: Nobody, just forget I said anything.