Superman II Quotes

General Zod: [Arriving on Earth after overhearing some NASA astronauts] So this is planet Houston.

[Dips his hand in the lake he has landed in]

General Zod: A very strange surface.

Lex Luthor: [to Zod and Company, at the half-wrecked White House] ... Hi! Lex Luthor.

[no reaction from the Super Villains]

Lex Luthor: LEX LUTHOR! Possibly you've heard the name? the Greatest Criminal Mind on Earth!

Ursa: I told you this was a puny planet.

[moves menacingly towards Luthor]

Lex Luthor: Whoa whoa whoa wait... why don't you get to know me better?

[Ursa continues moving towards Luthor]

Lex Luthor: WAIT! I can give you anything! The... the... the... the Brass Ring, unlimited freedom to maim and kill! PLUS! Lex Luthor's keen mind, Lex Luthor's savvy, Lex Luthor's school of career guidance...

[Ursa begins crushing his hand]

General Zod: We already have this without you. You cannot bargain with what you don't have.

Lex Luthor: [sucking on his thumb to numb the pain] Oh Great One, what I am bargaining with is what YOU do not have: The Son of Jor-El.

General Zod: The Son of Jor-El?

Lex Luthor: [confused] I just said that.

General Zod: Jor-El? Our jailer?

Lex Luthor: [sarcastically] No, Jor-El the BASEBALL PLAYER...

[Ursa and Non start moving menacingly towards Luthor]

Lex Luthor: Yes, Jor-El your jailer.

General Zod: The Son of Jor-El! On this planet!

Lex Luthor: Perhaps you know him better by his nom de voyage, or the name he travels under: Superman.

General Zod: So THIS is Superman! How do you know of Jor-El?

Lex Luthor: Well, Your Excellency, as I explained earlier: I'm about the best there is.

General Zod: Revenge! We will kill the son of our jailer!

Ursa: Revenge!

Lex Luthor: REVENGE! Now we're cooking!

General Zod: He flies then?

Lex Luthor: Constantly.

General Zod: He has powers as we do?

Lex Luthor: Certainly. But, oh Magnificent One, he is one, while you are three.

[Non growls]

Lex Luthor: Or four, if you count him twice!

General Zod: Come! We will bring him to his knees!

Ursa: Praying!

General Zod: Yes, to ME!

Lex Luthor: Wait!

[the Super Villains turn to face Luthor]

Lex Luthor: First you must find him... and Lex Baby is the only one who knows where he is...

General Zod: No! Who else is seeing this?

Reporter: Well, with the satellite link up just about everybody, I mean the whole planet.

General Zod: The whole planet Houston?

Reporter: Earth... The whole planet Earth.

General Zod: [pleased] You may continue.

Reporter: As the extraordinary story continues...

Ursa: [petulantly to Zod] Enough of this! If the whole planet is watching, cannot we show them something more interesting?

Army Major: Throw down your arms and surrender. This is an order!

Ursa: General Zod does not take orders. He gives them.

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.

General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.

President: [on T.V] This is your President. On behalf of my country and in the name of the other leaders of the world with whom I have today consulted, I hereby abdicate all authority and control over this planet to General Zod. Only by following all his directives will the lives of millions be spared...

[desperately]

President: Superman! Can you hear me? Superman! Where are you...

General Zod: Who is this Superman?

President: You'll find out and when you do-...

General Zod: Come to me, Superman! I defy you! Come and kneel before Zod! Zod!

General Zod: [looking at the Presidential Seal on the floor of the Oval Office] I see you are practiced in worshiping things that fly. Good. Now, rise before Zod.

[the "President" stands up]

General Zod: Kneel before Zod.

[the "President" kneels]

General Zod: You are not the President. No one who leads so many could possibly kneel so quickly.

President: [appears from behind the other men] I'm the man they're protecting. I'm the President. I'll kneel before you, if it will save lives.

General Zod: It will, starting with your own.

Ursa: [walking towards a group of military men] What a backwards planet this must be, where the men wear the ribbons... and the jewelry!

[rips the ribbons off a general's uniform]

President: What I do now, I do for the sake of the people of Earth. But there is one man on this planet who will NEVER kneel before you.

General Zod: Who is this imbecile? Where is he?

President: I wish I knew.

[kneels]

President: Oh God.

General Zod: Zod!

Ursa: [after using heat vision on a snake] Did you see that? Did you see what I did? I have powers beyond reason here!

General Zod: We all have them, my dear.

[Clark Kent has been beaten in a fistfight after losing his superpowers]

Clark Kent: Blood. It's my blood. I think... maybe we'd better hire a bodyguard from now on.

Lois Lane: I don't want a bodyguard. I want the man I fell in love with.

Clark Kent: I know, Lois. I wish he was here.

Lex Luthor: Superman! Thank God!

[sees Zod glaring at him]

Lex Luthor: I mean, get him!

Lex Luthor: What am I gonna do with you people, huh? I held up my end, I delivered the blue boy. What do I get from my triple threat? "Bow! Yield! Kneel!" That kind of stuff closes out of town.

General Zod: Why do you say this to me when you know I will kill you for it?

Lex Luthor: Kill me? Lex Luthor? Extinguish the greatest criminal flame of our age? Eradicate the only man on Earth with...

Ursa: Kill him!

Lex Luthor: ...Superman's address?

General Zod: Come. The three of us will crush the son of our jailer!

General Zod: [referring to Superman's home] Scruffy. Morbid. A sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished. No style at all!

Superman: I expect better manners from my guests, Zod.

Lois Lane: Superman, this wasn't my idea...!

General Zod: Accept your destiny, Kal-El. As your father once condemned us, so now do we condemn his misbegotten brat!

Ursa: Come forward. Your General wishes to speak.

General Zod: I am General Zod. Your ruler. Yes, today begins a new order. Your lands, your possessions, your very lives, will gladly be given in tribute to me, General Zod! In return for your obedience you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words you will be allowed to live.

[rips a Generals stars from his shoulder]

General Zod: So you are a General? And who is your superior?

General: I answer only to the President.

General Zod: And he will answer to me! Or all of his cities will end up like this one.

Ursa: [watching an Army helicopter] Look. They need machines to fly.

General Zod: What bravery. Be nice to them, my dear. Blow them a kiss.

Superman: General, would you care to step outside?

General Zod: Come to me, son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod!

Man in crowd 1: He's dead. Superman is dead! He's not coming out.

Man in crowd 2: They've killed Superman!

Man in crowd 3: Let's go get 'em!

Man in crowd 4: Yeah! I know some judo! Come on, let's go!

Lois Lane: I'm gonna' be fine. Don't worry about me.

Clark Kent: I like worrying about you.

Lex Luthor: Why didn't you go before we left?

Eve Teschmacher: That was two days ago.

General Zod: This "super-man" is nothing of the kind; I've discovered his weakness.

Ursa: Yes?

General Zod: He cares. He actually cares for these Earth people.

Ursa: Like pets?

General Zod: I suppose.

Ursa: Sentimental idiot!

Otis: How're we gonna get over that wall?

Lex Luthor: How'd we get in here?

Otis: We flew in, doncha remember?

Lex Luthor: That's how we're gonna get out.

Sheriff: [finding General Zod and Company standing on a dirt road, the Sheriff kicks in his car's lights and siren; to Duane] From the look of 'em, I'll bet ten dollars they're from Los Angeles.

[to the Kryptonians]

Sheriff: Hey, you hippies! Get your butts off the road!

General Zod: I like the glow that flashes red like our Krypton sun. But not this irritating noise. Make way.

General Zod: Son of Jor-El. We were beginning to think you were a coward.

Superman: I'm not a coward, Zod.

Ursa: Let him prove it!

General Zod: Possibly not. It is extremely likely you are merely a fool. Like father, like son.

Superman: Somehow, I just can't hear you, Zod.

General Zod: [Using his heat vision, he breaks off the entire side of a nearby building and catches it with both hands] Then die, as you deserve to!

[He throws it at Superman, who uses his own heat vision to blow the huge projectile apart]

Ursa: [after their carnage on the moon] Strange, I tore those metal fibers like paper. And what HE did... was amazing! Something is happening...

General Zod: Yes, to all of us. The closer we come to an atmosphere with only one sun, a yellow sun, the more our molecular density gives us unlimited powers.

Ursa: [pointing to Earth] They come from there, a place called Houston.

General Zod: Then we will go there to rule. FINALLY, to rule.

[turning to Ursa]

General Zod: And you, will shall everything you wish.

Ursa: Men! To kill!

General Zod: And I will lead!

Ursa: What an undemanding male this Superman must be.

Lois Lane: Yeah, and you could use a tuck here and there yourself, sister.

Eve Teschmacher: I like trees.

Lex Luthor: So does your average cocker spaniel.

Lex Luthor: [as he's strolling through the half-demolished Daily Planet, in the wake of General Zod's minions; to himself] ... Even with all this accumulated knowledge, when will these dummies learn to use a DOOR KNOB?

[to everyone]

Lex Luthor: Howdy, folks! You should see the White House; they'll be cleaning it for months.

Eve Teschmacher: [offscreen from a balloon] Psst.

Lex Luthor: Did you do "psst?"

Otis: No, but I wish I had before we left.

Eve Teschmacher: Psst.

Lex Luthor: Not that "psst", *that* "psst."

Eve Teschmacher: Psst.

Lex Luthor: Psst.

Otis: Psst.

Lex Luthor: Don't go "psst"; I'll go "psst"... Now, get on out there and find it.

Otis: Okay... What am I looking for?

Lex Luthor: You'll know it when you see it.

Otis: [after just missing it twice, Otis bumps right into...] I think I've found it - whatever it is.

Lex Luthor: What's it look like?

Otis: ...A ladder?

Lex Luthor: Bingo. Hold it for me.

[climbs up to join Eve T]

Willie: Please, Mister.

Ursa: He's a General.

Willie: Please, Mister General! Please let my daddy down!

Ursa: Why not increase his handicap, since he cares so much for these Earth creatures...

[grabs Lois]

Ursa: ... let us take his favorite!

J.J.: Hey sweet thing, set them buns down here!

Ursa: [she sits and holds out her arm] Let's just hold hands.

J.J.: [he takes her hand] Let me know if this tickles.

[she throws him, breaking the table]

J.J.: I think my arm's broken.

Boog: Girl or no girl, you're gonna spit teeth. Get up!

[Zod flings him through the bar wall into the dirt road, right in front of Willie and the Sheriff]

Superman: [after admitting to Lois that he's Superman] We'd better talk.

Lois Lane: I'm in love with you.

Superman: We'd really better talk.

General Zod: [after rampaging through the Daily Planet, Zod thinks he has found Superman. He holds Jimmy way up by the collar] ... *This* is the son of Jor-El?

Jimmy Olsen: No, but I'll bet *you're* the son of a...!

Lois Lane: [cutting him off] *Jimmy!*

Superman: [at the Fortress of Solitude; whispering to Luthor] Try and get them all into this molecule chamber. It takes away their powers, see... and turns them into ordinary human beings. Now if you could...

[Zod approaches]

Superman: Shh, shh!

Lex Luthor: [pauses] General, don't go in there. It's a trap.

Superman: Luthor, you poisonous snake!

Lex Luthor: That's a molecule chamber. It turns people like you into people like me.

General Zod: [nods] You've done well, Lex Luthor.

Lex Luthor: [pointing] The crystal there activates the mechanism.

General Zod: Lex Luthor, ruler of Australia... activate the machine.

[Non grabs Luthor and flies him up to the control panel]

Ursa: [on the moon] You. What kind of a creature are you?

Astronaut: Just a man.

Ursa: A man?

[first lines]

Krypton guard: Alert, alert, alert.

[last lines]

Superman: Good afternoon, Mr. President. Sorry I've been away so long. I won't let you down again.

Perry White: [upon Clark entering his office] Kent, I need a background story for the page three sidebar. Get me everything you can on this terrorist group.

Clark Kent: Right!

[is about to leave but stops]

Clark Kent: Uh, sorry. T... terrorists?

Perry White: Get your head out of the clouds, Kent! Where've you been for the past twelve hours?

Clark Kent: Uh, Home.

Perry White: Well, don't you watch television?

Clark Kent: Frankly, Mr. White, I really don't enjoy television. Too much violence. I was just reading Dickens.

Jimmy Olsen: [races in] Mr. Kent! A gang of terrorists seized the Eiffel Tower! In Paris!

Perry White: He knows where the Eiffel Tower is, Olson!

[afterthought]

Perry White: You do, don't you Kent?

Clark Kent: Yes, sir.

[to Jimmy]

Clark Kent: Has anybody been hurt?

Jimmy Olsen: Well, so far the hostages are unharmed.

Clark Kent: The hostages?

Jimmy Olsen: Yeah! Tourists! About twenty of them!

Perry White: Yeah, but that's just penny ante stuff. These guys claim that if the French government doesn't meet their demands, they've got a hydrogen bomb ready to level Paris.

Clark Kent: Well, jeepers Mr. White. Tha-that's terrible!

Perry White: That's why they call them "terrorists," Kent.

Lex Luthor: North... Why does he always go north?

Otis: He wants to ski?

[Eve Teschmacher & Luthor are in a balloon over the arctic, after escaping the penetentiary & leaving Otis behind]

Eve Teschmacher: Lex, how could you do that to Otis?

Lex Luthor: What else is ballast for?

Clark Kent: [returning from the bathroom, Clark discovers that his seat next to Lois has been taken] Excuse me sir, you're sitting in my seat.

Rocky: [referring to the bathroom Clark just exited] You're seat's in there, four eyes.

Clark Kent: Somebody ought to teach you some manners, sir.

Rocky: Oh, yeah? Well, let me know when he comes in.

Perry White: If Paris is going to go kablooey I want my best reporter right in the middle of it... No offense, Kent. You're good, but Lois Lane's better.

Clark Kent: No, I mean uh, isn't that a bit dangerous, sir?

Perry White: That goes with the territory, Kent. Don't worry; if I know Lois Lane, she'll not only come back with a Pulitzer Prize story, but a one-on-one interview with the hydrogen bomb titled "What Makes Me Tick."

Controller #1: [unaware that Zod and Company have just wiped out the entire Artemis 2-crew] ... What did Nate say a minute ago? He saw a girl?

Controller #2: I thought he said "curl."

Controller #1: What's a curl?

Controller #2: Isn't that what the old Cape Cannaveral guys called a comet with an east-west trajectory?

Controller #1: How would I know? I was in high school back then.

Controller #2: You look old for your age... Well, it looks like your run-of-the-mill, high-frequency electrical interference.

Controller #1: All right...

[to the other controllers]

Controller #1: ... Which one of you guys is using the hair-dryer?

woman 1 at Niagra Falls: [after Superman catches the boy that fell over the railing] Oh what a nice man!

woman 2 at Niagra Falls: Of course, He's Jewish you know.

General Zod: No one may leave without my permis -

[spots Willie escaping on horseback]

General Zod: I said no one leaves!

[at Zod's direction, Non hurls a projectile, obliterating Willie and his horse]

Woman: He was only a boy!

Ursa: Who will never become a man!

Superman: [after seeing Zod on TV] Here? When?

Diner Owner: When? Where the hell have you been, mac, on a desert island?

Clark Kent: I have to go back.

Lois Lane: You can't go back, there's no way now.

Clark Kent: I have to. I've gotta try dammit, I've got to try something. Anything!

Lois Lane: It's not your fault. You didn't know this was going to happen.

Clark Kent: They knew. They tried to tell me. But, I didn't listen.

Lois Lane: Well, let's see what trouble I can get into today. Lueene. What's happening in the world?

[Lueene rolls her eyes and walks out of Lois's office]

Lois Lane: Lueene?

[Lois shrugs and gets back to work]

Krypton Elder: You three criminals have been caught in a further act of seditious treason.

Krypton Elder: [to Zod] General Zod, your only feeling was contempt for our society; your only desire was to command.

Krypton Elder: [to Ursa] Ursa, the only feeling you showed was for your vicious general. Your only wish: to rule at his side.

Krypton Elder: [to Non] Non, you are as without thought as you are without voice.

Krypton Elder: This council has no hesitation in proclaiming you all...

Krypton Elder: Guilty!

Kryptonian Elder #2: Guilty!

Kryptonian Elder #3: Guilty!

Krypton Elder, Kryptonian Elder #2, Kryptonian Elder #3, Kryptonian Elder #4: Guilty!

Ursa: [the dome opens, and the Phantom Zone portal enters the chamber; Zod, Ursa and Non are transported into the Phantom Zone] Aah!

General Zod: Aah! You will bow down before me, Jor-El! Both you and one day, your heir! Jor-El!

General Zod: Did you think we would give up our advantage? No! The son of Jor-El will be my slave, forever. If not, the millions of Earthlings you protect shall pay for your defiance... beginning with this one.

[indicates Lois]

General Zod: I sense the presence of Jor-El here. Destroy this place.

Lex Luthor: Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.

General Zod: We have no more use for this one. Kill him.

Lex Luthor: Me? Lex Luthor? General... I helped you through the tough times, remember? You came to me with nothing, and I gave you Superman!

General Zod: Silence!

Lex Luthor: Well, look -

[Non shoves Luthor from behind]

Lex Luthor: Watch it, don't touch me!

[to Superman]

Lex Luthor: Guy's a clod... Promises were made, gifts exchanged. I gotta hand it to you, you know... You always told the truth. A guy always knew where he stood with you. You kept everything pure and simple. I've always respected you for that.

Superman: ...I guess there's some good in you after all, Lex Luthor.

Lex Luthor: Oh, yeah... I'm full of good. I just don't get to use it very often.

Superman: [whispering] All right, I guess we'll have to take that chance... We need to get them all into this molecule chamber; it takes away their powers, see, and turns them into ordinary human beings. Now, if you can...

[Zod approaches]

Lex Luthor: Don't go in there, General; that's a molecule chamber. It makes people like you into... people like me.

General Zod: You've done well, Lex Luthor.

[he motions to Ursa, who prepares to break Lois's neck]

Lex Luthor: General, the crystal there activates the mechanism.

[Zod motions for the Man of Steel to enter the chamber]

Lois Lane: [choking] No... Please, Superman, don't!

Superman: ALL RIGHT! Leave her alone, Zod!... You win.

General Zod: Lex Luthor, ruler of Australia, activate the machine.

[Non grabs Luthor and flies him up to the control panel]

Lex Luthor: Thank you.

[takes a crystal]

Lex Luthor: With your permission.

General Zod: Of course.

[Lois cries as Superman enters the chamber and the red lights turn on]

General Zod: [Superman exits the chamber] And now, finally...

[motions for the Man of Steel to kneel before him, which Superman does]

General Zod: ... Take my hand, and swear eternal loyalty to Zod.

[Superman grips Zod's hand... and crushes it! As Zod groans in agony, the Man of Steel lifts him off the ground and throws the villain across the chamber into a wall. Zod slides into a chasm below. Then Non tries to fly at Superman, but finds himself unable to do so; he, too, falls into the chasm below]

Lex Luthor: He switched it, did it to them! That's whey the lights were on out here... while he was safe in there!

[Superman nods and gives Luthor a "You guessed it" sign]

Lois Lane: You know something? You're a real pain in the neck!

[Lois punches Ursa into the chasm below]

Superman: [Lois goes to Superman, who hugs her] Are you all right?

[she nods]

Superman: ... I knew you'd double-cross me, Luthor. A lying weasel like you couldn't resist the chance.

Lex Luthor: Me, are you kidding? Hey, I was with you all the time! That was beautiful! Did you see the way they fell into our trap? Ha ha!

Superman: Too late, Luthor! Too late.

Lex Luthor: Look, Superman, I got a proposition for you. Now, don't stop me until you've heard this, because... I know I owe you one, but we're in the North Pole, right? Let's wipe the slate clean. If you give me a ride back, I promise I'll turn over a new leaf - a whole forest, while I'm at it! How's this sound to you: we'll say you were killed in the battle, you lie low at my place for a few months, and then we'll make a name for you as a professional boxer. I can see it now: The Smallville Strongboy. No, better yet: the Metropolis Masher! I ask you, is that a plan or is that a plan!

[Back at the diner, Rocky has just finished his plate of Steak and Eggs. Clark returns]

Rocky: [to Ron, the owner] Hey, Ron?

Diner Owner: Yeah?

Rocky: Gimme another plate of this garbage.

Waitress: Garbage? That's my number-one special, Rocky.

Rocky: All right, Annie! Gimme some more coffee too, will ya? And give it wings!

Clark Kent: Gee, that's funny. I've never seen garbage eat garbage before.

[Rocky then notices Clark, unaware that Clark's Krypton powers are fully restored. The patrons fall silent]

Clark Kent: Excuse me, sir, you're sitting in my favorite seat.

Rocky: [dares Clark] Then come and get it, four-eyes.

[Clark slowly makes his way towards the end of the counter]

Diner Owner: Now, cool it, Rocky! Take it easy, will ya? I just had this joint fixed. It cost me a fortune.

[Dishes and silverware clatter as Rocky shoves Ron away and then stands up. Rocky slugs Clark, breaking his hand in the process]

Rocky: [groans in pain] Oh, God!

Clark Kent: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE] Consider this a present from Lois.

[he backhands Rocky in the jaw, just hard enough to spin the bully around the greasy spoon... and to move the seat up to its highest point. As Clark stops the seat dead, Rocky nearly falls off - then grunts loudly and spits out a tooth. Clark then lifts Rocky by the scruff of his neck and sits him on the plate of Steak and Eggs, splattering it over the counter]

Clark Kent: [to Ron and Annie] This order's to go.

[Clark shoves a screaming Rocky across the counter, destroying property items. Rocky eventually lands on and wrecks a pinball machine, knocked unconscious]

Clark Kent: [to Ron] I'm... terribly sorry about all the damage, sir.

[hands Ron a fistful of cash for repairs]

Clark Kent: Oh, I've been... working out, you know.

Diner Owner: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE: Ron hands back the money] Do you think we're gonna let *you* pay up when *he* never did? This one's on the house... Hey, Rocky! I see you anywhere near this joint again, I'll call the cops! Ya hear?

[Rocky forces himself to his feet and bolts from the diner]

Lara: [Lois Lane rennters the room to discover Superman talking with Lara] Your father and I have to ancticipate your every question Kal-El, but this is one we'd hoped you'd not ask.

Clark Kent: But I have to, because she is everything I want in life.

Lara: And she, the one you have chosen, feels as much for you?

Clark Kent: Yes.

Lara: Then if it is what you wish. If you intend to live your life with a mortal, you must live as a mortal. You must become one of them.

[a crystal chamber emerges]

Lara: This crystal chamber has harnessed the rays of the red sun of Krypton. Once exposed to these rays, all your great powers on Earth will disappear forever.

[Superman turns towards the chamber]

Lara: But consider, once it is done there is no return. You will become an ordinary man. You will feel like an ordinary man. You can be hurt like an ordinary man.

[Emerges from the projection]

Lara: Oh my son, are you sure?

Clark Kent: Mother, I love her.

[Superman enters the chamber to begin the depowering process, Lara watches him then vanishes]

Clark Kent: .

Jimmy Olsen: There's Mr. Kent. Bet he wishes he'd been around when it all happened.

Lois Lane: Clark, he's never around when Superman appears.

Clark Kent: Good morning, Lois. How are you today?

Lois Lane: Oh, I'm just super. Thanks. I'm super.

Lex Luthor: This is how it ends for the greatest criminal mind of our time. Not with a whimper, not with a bang. How do they choose to reward Lex Luthor... the greatest genius in this worid? Do they give him glory or treasure? What, matter of fact, do they give him?

Prison Warden: Life plus 25, Luthor. Get to work.

Eve Teschmacher: Oh, you must be wrong, Lex. This couldn't be his home way up here.

Lex Luthor: "Wrong, Lex". Miss Teschmacher, those are two words we do not use in the same sentence.

Eve Teschmacher: Well, it's funny there's no front door.

Lex Luthor: Miss Teschmacher, "funny" is a person trying to smile without any teeth.

General Zod: [to Superman] Your powers are identical to mine. But we are three. We could tear you limb from limb.

Lex Luthor: Do it, Your Grace. Just grab a leg and just make a wish.