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Nicole: So, how do you know my dad?
Stu: He kidnapped me. We killed some people.
Nicole: Huh.
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Vic: It's a baby gun. It allows you to fire it while crying.
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[from trailer]
Stu: [jokingly] Hey, lemme guess, you want me to drive you to all the Sarah Connors in the city?
Vic: [impatiently] Koreatown, now!
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Vic: You've got brass balls.
Stu: Don't talk about my balls!
Vic: It's me and you.
Stu: Leave my balls out of it!
Vic: We're a team buddy.
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[Tedjo is about to shoot Nicole]
Oka Tedjo: [to Vic] I'm going to take away everything you love.
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Vic: [incredulous after Stu tries to guess his ethnicity] And *I'm* the racist one?
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Stu: [on Vic's impersonation of Leon] Wow... what other racist stereotypes can you do?
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[Stu's Uber car explodes]
Stu: Nooo! It was a lease! How could it explode? It didn't have any fuel in it.
[the answer dawns on Stu]
Stu: The propane tanks.
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Leon: It's going down tonight.
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Vic: [after Stu attempts to hug him] Save that for a tree.
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Stu: [about his boss] He's the second worst guy I've ever met.
Vic: Who's the first?
Stu: I'll give you a hint. It's you.
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Stu: Do you remember that part of NeverEnding Story where Atreyu walks through the oracle gates and those guys, big statue things, can see a warrior's true internal nature and that super scary knight just vaporizes because deep down he doesn't believe in himself?
Vic: Yeah?
Stuber Quotes
Extended Reading
